The phrase “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” contains more truth than you realise. People often use this proverb humorously, or sometimes even sarcastically. But we may sometimes underestimate just how much our children emulate us. As the saying goes, a child will more likely follow in his parent’s footsteps than listen to their advice. Or something along those lines. It takes a special kind of parent to raise a good son who will grow up to be exceptional fathers themselves. Here are ways dads raise their sons to be even better dads.
7 Things Dads Do That Make Their Sons Better Fathers in the Future
They are Gentle and Compassionate
Some dads can be particularly tough, especially on their sons. This may be a predominantly societal expectation. Sons have to follow in their father’s footsteps and become protectors and providers. However, times have changed. We don’t have to hunt for food in the wilderness or brave against the elements. The modern father can afford to be kinder and less harsh on their sons. And for the most part, they are. More fathers are not averse to showing kindness and affection to their sons, which was once mostly considered to be a strictly maternal responsibility. Having a gentle father can do wonders for a boy’s self-esteem and empathy. Which means they also grow up to be better fathers in the future.
They are Present and Involved
A good father is not only present for sports matches, recitals and other school events. They help their sons with homework, tuck them in for bed and read them to sleep. They help their sons get dressed for school, cook them meals and help them navigate the complicated world of growing up. And when their sons reach the cusp of manhood, teach them all about shaving, grooming and of course, the birds and the bees. Sons who grow up with involved fathers will have all the tools to properly raise their own sons when they eventually start families of their own.
They Practice Positive Parenting
As parents, we need to guide our kids on the straight and narrow. Even more so in the beginning, before they chart their own path through this perilous world. This means that we need to discipline them while they’re still young. Most fathers may have the wrong view of discipline. It’s not about instilling fear or terror or even about obedience. Discipline is about promoting accountability, humility and respect. It discourages antisocial behaviour. Positive parenting ensures that discipline is done in a controlled, healthy and constructive way. A way that elevates a lost boy into a good man, who will eventually become the best father.
They are Good Husbands
The hallmark of a good father is being a good husband. How you treat your spouse is a barometer for how you treat other people in your life. A good husband is understanding, supportive, empathetic and above all, loving. Having a positive, healthy relationship with your life partner, ensures that the rest of the family prospers. This includes your relationship with your children. When your son sees what a happy marriage looks like and what it takes to maintain one, they will be on their way to becoming good husbands themselves. And by association, great dads.
They Aren’t Afraid to be Vulnerable
Dads are often expected to be tough all the time. We go to them when we’re in trouble and rely on them to be our anchor. But dads are humans too, they still feel sad, scared and frustrated. A good dad is not afraid to tell his son about his emotions or his struggles. He is not above engaging in activities that are normally considered ‘feminine‘. And above all, a good dad is not afraid to apologise. A son who grew up with a vulnerable father will be more emotionally mature. He will be more likely able to express his weaknesses and shortcomings clearly. Instead of repressing all of it, and allowing it to bubble up later in hurtful ways.
They Respect All Kinds of People
A good father accepts people from all walks of life. Regardless of their ethnicity, gender, spiritual and political beliefs, sexual orientation or age. Raising a son who is in harmony with everyone also means there is less conflict in their interactions and relationships. They make more friends, learn about other cultures and may pave the way for a more accepting, tolerant future world. Less conflict also means a happier life in general. And a happy man makes a happy father.
They Love to Show Physical Affection
A good dad hugs, kisses, cuddles and tickles his son. A good dad is not above showing physical affection to his young man, in private or in public. And no, it’s not about being clingy. Physical contact has always been scientifically proven to be beneficial for psychological development. It fosters trust, communication, and emotional security. Positive physical contact can also help lower anxiety and depression and elevate the mood. When fathers shower their sons with physical interaction, their sons are less likely to keep secrets or suppress their emotions. Being able to communicate one’s problems and worries in a healthy, accepting environment results in a well-rounded human being who will go on to be great parents themselves.
Like Father Like Son
Fathers play such an important role in their son’s life—as much as mothers do. And many dads are starting to take a more active and nurturing role in this respect. It’s no longer, or just about doing manly things together. But about creating precious moments, being vulnerable around each other and not being afraid to show affection. Many may believe that sons must earn the love of their fathers. When it is in fact the other way around. Being a parent is not about making your child love you, it’s about raising them in a way that makes you worthy of your child’s love. Someone who they are truly proud to call their father. And when you raise a good man, you are also bringing a great father into the world—such is the power of fatherhood.
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