Every expectant mum looks forward to the day when she finally gets to meet her baby for the first time. But afterwards, some mums may need some time getting used to their new role as a parent, caregiver and guardian. It may feel strange, confusing and even awkward at times, taking care of this small little human who’s just arrived into the world. There may be times when you don’t know what to do with your baby and that’s normal. Here’s how to bond with your first child and end the maternal awkwardness.
Motherhood interviewed paediatrician, Dr. Yi Ki who is also a mother of three, to share with us about bonding tips for all first-time mums.
Q1. How can a new mum begin the bonding session with the baby?
Have you heard of the term the ‘Golden Hour’? It actually refers to the first 60 minutes after the baby is born and is actually a critical time for mummy and baby. I believe that that is the best time to begin connecting and bonding with our newborn baby. So, what happens is that a mummy and baby will have their first skin-to-skin contact initiated in this first hour after birth. Baby is put on mummy’s bare chest with a towel over both of them to keep them warm. In that position, the mother can gently stroke her baby and just enjoy the connection. There is no pressure whatsoever to breastfeed her baby during this special time. But afterwards this ‘Golden Hour’ period is also when will witness a beautiful moment known as ‘breast crawl’.
This is where the baby instinctively moves towards mummy’s breast and attempts to latch for the very first time. So, the midwife or labour room nurse may whisk the baby away for a quick dry and physical check-up. However, I encourage every new mum to insist on having her baby stay with her in the delivery room after the examination. So, remember if you are a first-time mum, be sure to take this opportunity to actually experience this precious ‘Golden Hour’ to truly spend time and bond with your baby.
Q2. What can I do if my baby is premature and having medical problems?
So, babies with premature and medical problems still respond very much to the mother’s touch and voice. If they require Neonatal Intensive care, of course it may be more challenging. But you can still provide gentle touches and strokes and sing to your baby during your visits in their incubators. When their conditions become more stable, ask your doctor if you could cradle or provide some kangaroo care in the unit itself. And of course, when they are stable enough to room in with you subsequently. Take this opportunity to get to know your baby and bond through feeding, talking, singing, and massaging with a gentle lotion, moisturiser or baby oil.
Q3. What is the best soothing technique for babies that a first-time mum should learn?
In the initial days, mothers maintain skin contact through cradling and breastfeeding. These methods are almost always the most comforting experience for our babies. Now, another brilliant soothing technique that every mum, I feel, and dad, should learn is swaddling. Swaddling won’t just keep your baby warm, but it also provides newborns with a sense of security and comfort. Just like in the cosy warm environment of their mother’s womb.
Swaddling also helps limit the startle reflex which can wake a baby from their sleep sometimes. There are various methods for swaddling your baby and first-time mums should not be shy about asking for help from the nurse or confinement lady. Ask them to teach you how to swaddle your baby and maybe also try getting one of those easy-to-use swaddling blankets that are sold in the market these days. They are so much easier to use without resorting to the old-fashioned school method. Plus, they come in various designs and materials, so pick one that you think is most suitable for your baby.
Other than swaddling, I also find that infant massage is a very good skill to learn as a bonding tool. It is a calming and relaxing activity for both mother and baby. It also helps with the baby’s muscle tone and sensory development, as well as promotes physical self-awareness. Massage is best done after a nice warm bath or part of your baby’s bedtime routine. Baby skin is very delicate so we need to be sure to use the right product that’s suitable that soothes and cares for our baby’s skin.
Q4. Will singing and talking help me to bond with my baby?
Most definitely. Babies love vocal sounds like talking, babbling, singing and cooing. And babies will also love listening to music, all sorts of music. You can also get them baby rattles and musical mobiles. But I have to say, the best musical instrument is yourself. Your voice. So, hum your favourite melody, gently sing nursery rhymes, read stories to your babies with magnified tones and facial expressions. Your baby will definitely love them!
But also make sure to be in a conducive environment where you are not competing with loud sounds from the tv or too bright a light. Intense sensory stimuli can be very distracting for babies because they are trying to really observe and understand the environment.
Q5. Why is it important for mothers to bond with their baby?
Babies are born with billions of brain cells, or what we medically call ‘neurons’. But those neurons only start building connections through life experiences and these connections grow exponentially in the first five years. That is a really important window to catch as connections that are not used will be pruned and lost forever. Hence, it is very crucial to nurture that two-way connection early, just by being present in the moment with your baby and with the bonding techniques we talked about earlier.
Every smile, every touch, every stroke, every conversation, every connection we have with our baby is vital to their development and their being. This will not only stimulate them physically, but also develops their language, social and cognitive skills as well. Bonding also lays a strong foundation for their emotional growth and confidence.
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Disclaimer: The information provided in this article is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as medical advice from Motherhood. For any health-related concerns, it is advisable to consult with a qualified healthcare professional or medical practitioner.
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