Not only do kids love playing video games, most adults are addicted to them as well! Some say it could be unfortunate if your spouse is one of them, but can a gamer spouse actually ruin your marriage?
My partner would rather play video games than spend time with me!
It is no doubt that one of the leading causes of divorce today is drug abuse, alcoholism, or even social media addiction.
There is, however, a comparatively recent form of addiction that has started to raise its fangs and is increasingly becoming one of the leading causes of failed marriages: Addiction to video gaming.
Most of the time when someone talks about a gaming addiction, what they really mean is extremely excessive gaming. What many people may not realise is that being addicted to video games is a real thing.
For some gamer spouses, however, it is not merely an issue of extended gaming for fun.
It is a true addiction.
Signs That Your Partner Is Addicted to Video Games:
- They would rather play video games than talk to you or attend to their jobs, or even themselves.
- They will play for hours; or worst-case scenario: 24 to 48 hours!
- They are willingly sacrificing their sleep to game.
- Sex, or making love, is not on the list anymore.
- They frequently forget about their responsibilities or commitments.
- Whenever you bring up the problem of their gaming compulsion, they rage at you for ‘not understanding’.
- There will be no more room for discussion on their moods or feelings.
- They turn a blind eye to the fact their excessive gaming is a real problem.
How Can Video Games Cause Problems In A Marriage?
When looking for an escape from the pressures of everyday life, more and more individuals today turn to the Internet—just like how some may turn to drugs. The Internet is the ultimate platform, especially for online gaming.
When we use gaming as a form as escapism, it’s either we gain freedom, or drown ourselves in it.
1) Distortion on Sense of Reality
You run the risk of being caught up in a virtual reality when you spend half your day in a game—one that can escalate rapidly to the point where it may feel like your real world. In the confines of a certain game, you may start eating, drinking and sleeping.
Your thoughts may be absorbed by the game, and you’ll have high urges to spend more time on them. And while you live on happily in your virtual world, you end up passing by on actual reality.
2) Distancing You From Your Love Life
Gaming can sometimes get a little out-of-hand and disconnect you from your partner, as with anything else that can become all-consuming. It’s sad to say, but we’ve seen how some gamers can truly be more “married” to their games, rather than their spouses.
Worst-case scenario, your gamer spouse could possibly have an affair with another gamer in the games that they play together.
Some partners may have also induced an obsession with a game to the point of entirely detaching from their spouses and those who care about them.
Gamers may be so caught up in extreme cases that they lose their job, leave school or barely venture outside of their houses, and end up sacrificing on stuff that really matters. All due to an addiction overriding their will to be more participative in the real world vs a virtual one. That’s unhealthy, right?
3) Could Gaming Change the Way You Treat Your Spouse?
In deciding whether or not gaming will adversely affect your marriage, the third question to answer has to do with the type of games you play, and the influence they may have on you.
Games come in all shapes and sizes these days. There are various game genres and gameplay styles. Some are absolutely harmless, while others could be highly aggressive and sensual and most probably would affect your spouse’s behaviour, too. Even if you may not realise it just yet, eventually, the daily exposure to abuse, sexuality, and blunt language will likely have an effect on you.
What To Do?
We’re not implying, in all of this, that gaming is innately evil, or that all gamers are bad spouses. Obviously, that isn’t valid. After all, who doesn’t want a little relaxation time destressing on the PlayStation, Nintendo Switch or Xbox?!
What we are saying is that like many other things, gaming has the potential to become all-consuming, distorting, and possibly harmful to your marriage. It can distract you from the most fondest and beautiful relationships in existence, if left unchecked.
Try not to be frustrated if your gamer spouse is a bit too wrapped up in gaming. Instead, do what you can to make them realise how much you want them to be present in the real world more. Place the emphasis on you loving it when they are genuinely in the moment with you. And instead of possibly restricting them from gaming altogether, find a way to compromise.
You could settle on implementing gaming limits together, or better yet, make it a shared activity. Game together so you can both maintain a healthy love life balance and a more blissful marriage! Even if you may not view yourself as a gamer, don’t write off trying it out just yet. And in return, your spouse will also participate in your hobby of choosing. Sharing your interests with your spouse and spending time on them together is another way to connect—it’s a win-win situation! Don’t let a negative situation grow to the point it may cause the downfall of your marriage.