Everyone desire a happy, long-lasting and successful marriage. But the question is, did we put enough efforts towards achieving that?
Sometimes, we think we understand our partner in and out so that if we can handle them before marriage, we can do the same after that.
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This is how we are wrong. Living apart and living together is totally different. When we spend most of our time with someone, we are bound to discover the things that what we never do before.
This is where it can get problematic. Our response upon discovering things can bring changes to our relationship either good or bad.
To deal with this, your first step should be by acknowledging that your spouse is changing throughout his/her life and it is best to act accordingly.
Well, what can we do to maintain the spark?
1. Honour Your Spouse
What is the best way to treat your spouse that he/she will like it for sure? This is timeless, it is as if they are a king or queen. Your marriage is like a kingdom. Both of you are the rulers who should serve each other.
None of you is superior to one another. Each has distinctive roles which deserve respect from another. When given respect, your partner will feel valued and honoured. This in turn will flourish the relationship.
Honouring and respecting your spouse isn’t only when they are around. Rather, it should be the same during their absence if not more.
For example, when you are chatting about married life with your girlfriends, talk with pride about your husband.
Remember to always portray a good image of your spouse in the public. Both of you have the responsibility to protect one another.
Apart from that, during a crisis, always try to remain neutral and avoid any bad assumptions about your partner.
You should respect them even if in your own thoughts. No one would like it to be thought wrongfully, isn’t it?
2. Love without Boundaries
As they said, love your partner like there is no tomorrow. Some people choose to keep their feelings inside and only to regret it later.
To be in a relationship, it is always better to express your love and show your partner how much you love him/her. This will make them feel secured and loved.
It can be destructive if your partner is constantly questioning their worth.
One way to ease the insecurity is by loving them wholeheartedly and showing it. Don’t forget that love is a verb. You have to work for it to blossom always.
3. Be Transparent
Often, we choose to bottle up our emotions rather than expressing them. Then without realizing, things are getting out of our hands. How can we overcome this?
In a marriage, you have to be transparent with your spouse. If you are hurt or mad, you have to let them know.
Give them chance to fix their mistake. Remember again how did thing ended up when you keep it to yourself and exploded later?
Always be clear about your feelings. It is healthier to let them out and have disagreement rather than bottling them inside, waiting to explode.
Communicate your feelings well without hurting your spouse and make them understand the reason behind your action is out of love for them.
4. Embrace All of Them
As you get married, you might find your spouse to be totally different from the same person you used to know.
For example, you might think your wife is lovely and understanding as your girlfriend. However, when she became your wife, she turns out to be someone who is judgmental and hot-tempered.
At this moment, instead of blaming her and going on your own way, you should have a heart-to-heart talk and find the best solution.
Try to understand her situation and the reason behind her behaviour. If that is who she really is, help her to become a better person.
Remember, everyone has their own strength and weakness. Cherish their goodness and help them to overcome their weakness. We didn’t marry them only for their perfection, didn’t we?
5. Give and Take
Living together means sharing almost everything together. Your daily routine is bound to change much.
Let say, when you have chores to do but your spouse is unwell, you have to sacrifice certain things and do it all by yourself. Instead of forcing or blaming them, you should be considerate of their situation.
In other time, when you are unable to fulfil the priority, they might have to step up and do it on your behalf as well.
To sacrifice and to shelter are not a sign of weakness, but the traits of the brave. Always try to give your best in the marriage and appreciate what your partner has done for you.
6. Forgive and Forget
Especially in the first few years of marriage, you and your spouse are bound to make mistake and might hurt each other in the process. This is normal as you are still adapting to your new life as a married couple.
When it happens, always be the first to say sorry. If it is your fault then your apology is for your mistake. And if it isn’t, then it is for hurting them.
Either, it is to show that your marriage is more important than the problem itself and saying sorry is a way to demonstrate that.
It is better to try to forget it although it’s out of our control. By doing that, you can prevent yourself from bringing it up again in the future. Once you settle it clean, try to forget and let it go.
7. Be Understanding and Sensitive
Before getting married, you only have to take care of yourself. But now, you have to care about your partner as well.
In this process, you might overlook certain things that are important to them. This might cause a stir to your relationship.
It is important for us to understand that the sensitive points of our spouse can be different from ours. We might think certain things are trivial but for them, they are very important.
You have to be aware of your partner’s emotion and try to understand it from their point of view. Always be sensitive to their needs and make them feel contented.
It is not impossible to have a happy, long-lasting and successful marriage. With the right intention and approaches, you can have a fairy tale life with your spouse.
Always work towards the betterment of each other and soon, your marriage will prosper. It is important to remember that a perfect marriage is an imperfect one.