Backtalk can be amusing and entertaining the first few times it occurs, especially if your kids are young, like three years old. Hearing that little one says ‘no’ could be the most heartwarming thing ever. However, that would no longer be the case if they grew up disobeying everything you asked or told them.
At that point, your children’s backtalk can either leave you in tears or turn you into a ‘Hulk Mum’ trying to deal with the sass. While talking back is a normal part of child development, it’s not easy to deal with; and your kids need to know when they’ve gone too far. You should set limits on how and when your children can backtalk.
Your kids can’t simply refuse to do something or just dismiss your words as they wish. Whatever the cause, as parents, you should take immediate and effective action to address back talk. It is your responsibility to teach them how to express themselves respectfully and positively.
It’s also worth noting that talking back can be caused by a number of factors. That said, the reactions of parents do influence the outcome of their interactions with their children. When parents maintain their calm, their kids are more likely to do the same. However, many parents will frequently respond with something along the lines of, “Don’t talk back to me!” This could lead to dissatisfaction and teach your children the wrong lesson.
Identifying the source of the problem is the most effective way to determine which strategy will work best. You can try some of the suggestions below to deal with a child who talks back and not let it get out of hand.
Establish and Explain Backtalk Rules
Find the best time to sit down with your children and discuss the rules for sass. They must understand what constitutes acceptable backtalk and what does not. You could then tell them that if they continue to be rude and negative, they will receive a warning. If they persist, there will be repercussions for breaking the rule.
Encourage Your Kids to Be Assertive
Teach your kids that some backtalk is necessary, but there is a proper way to do it, especially when responding to what they want. Your children must learn to be assertive and not be afraid to speak their minds so that they can stand up for themselves as they grow older. Warn them to not be disrespectful, but at the same time, do not interfere with their development of backtalk constructively. This is as doing so may cause them to develop speaking anxiety.
Don’t Abuse Your Parental Authority
Yes, you have the power to tell your children what they should and should not do. However, telling your kids to always obey authority and never speak back can also have a negative impact on them. They may grow up simply accepting bullying or abuse, so exercise extreme caution when authoring on your young children. Keep in mind that if you allow your children to tell you what bothers them or what they don’t feel right about, they will be less likely to talk back the next time.
Give and Remind Backtalking Consequences
When your children first started talking back, they might not realise it’s not okay. So, you could let them off the hook but warn them about the consequences if they do it again. If the backtalking continues unabated, you must impose consequences so that they understand you are serious about it. Your children must understand that they have broken a rule, and the repercussions will make them think twice about talking back to you the next time.
Never Overreact or Take Backtalk Personally
It is impossible to deny that dealing with children’s attitudes can be overwhelming and frustrating at times, but how you react will influence their next action. Before you respond to your children’s backtalk, keep in mind that most of the time it isn’t personal. It’s just them being angry, but their behaviour needs to be addressed. You should also avoid overreacting to the situation because doing so will simply signal to your children that backtalk is completely acceptable and will prolong the conflict between you and the kids. Which, in the end, will aggravate the situation.
When Necessary, Disengage and Stop Participating
Stop getting involved in the argument when dealing with your kids’ backtalk. While staying calm, inform them that you will speak again once they have cooled down. If your child persists in hassling you, walk away to give the both of you some alone time. Oftentimes, if they don’t get a reaction from you, kids will simply drop the subject. However, avoid disengaging and leaving your children hanging, as this will give the impression that you don’t care about them. You must first inform them that you will not continue until the situation has subsided.
Kids Must Learn Positive Backtalk
Backtalk isn’t all bad because it can teach your children how to justify themselves in certain situations. The issue arises when your kids simply have to speak up and have the final say when arguing or refusing to do anything that you need help with. It is critical to teach them the value of constructive backtalk and how it will benefit them now and in the future. At the end of the day, your children need to know that you are always there for them—not to fight with them, but to help them with whatever they are going through.
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