When our children are growing, we all hope that they are always on good behaviour and not throwing tantrums, backtalking, or being stubborn.
As much as that would be the ideal scenario for us parents, there will be times when our children simply refuse to cooperate and can be extremely difficult to manage.
With such children, parents will usually cave to avoid the nightmare of screaming and crying.
Allowing children to have their way all of the time, on the other hand, is not good for them.
They may be spoiled and grow into adults who find it difficult to compromise with others.
So, the next time your children are difficult, here are some strategies you could try.
How to Raise a Difficult Child
1. Maintain your Control
No matter how worn out you are or how unmotivated you feel, maintain your composure and do not give in to bad behaviour or tantrums.
Giving in would expose your frailty, allowing her to manipulate you once more through tantrums.
Instead, you could focus on her helplessness to find the information you need to take command.
2. Take Preventive Measures
This one requires some practise but is efficient. Utilize your understanding of your child’s temperament to anticipate and prevent meltdowns.
Make sure the cabinets are locked so your child can’t get in if they tend to take things out of them and throw them away while you’re gone.
So that you can plan your trips to the grocery store or the doctor when he is feeling his best, be aware of when he is feeling the most energised or exhausted and cranky.
To keep him from getting bored, bring along some of his favourite toys or snacks.
3. Pay Close Attention
Children frequently misbehave to get attention because they value being heard highly. Therefore, whenever they express happiness or sorrow, pay attention to it and respond in kind so they know their feelings are understood. If your child asks to open the chip packet at the grocery store, explain why they shouldn’t do it until you have finished paying for your groceries. When your kid gets the attention, hopefully, the acting out will stop.
4. Always Stay Calm
You can handle the situation more effectively the more composed you are.
Additionally, when telling your child to stop being difficult, use a calm, steady, and neutral tone of voice.
It would be more effective to use a suggestive tone rather than a commanding one when trying to convince your little one to do something, like not running in the shopping mall.
Therefore, instead of saying “stop running this instant” suggest “would it be okay for you to walk so you don’t injure yourself?”
5. Give Them an Option
Opposition to your control is a common reason why kids refuse to obey.
Offer them a choice with a set of possible outcomes to avoid coming across as controlling.
For instance, ask him which task he would like to take on so that you can focus on the other one instead of ordering him to clean the room or put all of his toys back in the basket.
At some point, you can stop assisting and ask him to take on each task independently.
6. Deal With The Underlying Problem
When your children are acting difficult, identify the underlying cause and begin to solve it. Offer a small snack if hunger is the issue.
Making sure you are extra friendly and welcoming with the child through your words and facial expressions also helps.
That will make them feel better and make it simpler for you to figure out why.
7. Try Providing Difficult Kids a Reward
You can stop your children’s tantrums in their tracks by using incentives.
Create a reward system for your children where they can participate and receive a reward for adhering to predetermined good behaviour.
Try the star reward system, where your children must accumulate a certain number of stars before they can receive a reward.
They’ll try to act appropriately to obtain the reward.
8. Promoting Good Behaviour to Difficult Kids
Your children will see that you are open to their trust if you display positive body language.
You can try to elicit a positive response from them by smiling at them, as well as by giving them a thumbs-up, high-five, or pat on the back.
Avoid folding your arms because doing so will signal conflict.
9. Recognise Difficult Kids with Compassion
Your child is unable to comprehend the emotional turmoil they are experiencing, but you can.
When it’s possible, pay attention to their emotions and help them label them so they can express themselves more clearly.
Show them that you understand what they’re going through by using phrases like “I know you’re disappointed we can’t buy you those candies,” or “I know you’re too exhausted to take a shower.”
10. Give and Remind of Appropriate Consequences
Consequences are just as important as rewards in shaping difficult behaviour.
Most children respond well to time-outs because they have plenty of time to reflect on what they did in a dull, boring environment.
If that don’t work, you can always take away favourite activities like screen time and dessert.
The secret to handling challenging children is patience, keen observational skills, and clever management techniques.
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