Not all of us have close relationships with our extended families. Whether that’s from a past misunderstanding, geographical challenges or just the lack of shared interests.
Blood may be thicker than water, but that doesn’t mean everything is easy all the time.
But for children, fostering positive, if not strong, bonds with cousins, uncles, aunts and grandparents can teach them many things.
Extended family members are our first forms of personal interaction with other relatives outside our parents and siblings. Before we even form bonds of friendship or romance.
So, letting your child interact with various family members of all ages gives them a sort of preview as to how other people are in the world that does not include their immediate family.
There’s a lot for your kids to learn from extended family. But first we need to get the ball rolling.
5 Ways to Help Your Kids Bond with Extended Family
Arrange Family Get-Togethers
Plan family gatherings or events where your child can spend quality time with their extended family.
These occasions provide opportunities for them to connect and create lasting memories.
It’s important to involve everyone in activities that cater to different age groups and interests.
Encourage participation in family celebrations, such as birthdays, holidays, or cultural events. These occasions provide opportunities for your child to bond with their extended family while experiencing the joy of shared traditions.
If your child misses their cousin or aunt, then don’t hesitate to plan out a weekend meet-up. Your child’s cousins are their friends too and should be included in playdates.
Share Family Stories and History
Family history is a treasure trove of lessons and memories.
Teach your child about their family’s traditions and values.
Share stories about their grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.
But not only that, share their accomplishments, their dreams and their goals. What they do for a living, where they live and what they like to do for fun.
This helps create a sense of belonging and encourages your child to develop an appreciation for their extended family.
But, of course, every family has its fair share of dark secrets. Avoid opening the Pandora’s box of gossip, scandals and other unpleasant details about your extended family.
Respect other people’s privacy even if they are not necessarily good people. Secrets are hidden for a reason.
Your child will likely eventually find out about them as adults. But for now, hide those skeletons.
Encourage Mutual Respect
Teach your child the importance of respect for all family members.
Emphasise that everyone’s opinions and feelings should be valued.
Encourage them to listen actively and be polite when interacting with extended family members, even if there are disagreements.
But also understand that not all extended family members may have the same level of involvement or interest in building a relationship with your child. Respect their boundaries and avoid forcing interactions.
Instead, focus on nurturing the connections that naturally develop.
It’s also important to note that respect goes both ways.
But if a family member is rude, antagonistic or just otherwise unpleasant to your child, do not try to ‘mend’ anything.
There are some people that do not deserve our time or attention – even if sometimes they happen to be family members.
Address Conflicts Calmly
Conflict is inevitable, even among family members.
If disagreements or misunderstandings occur between your child and their extended family, try to address them calmly.
Help your child understand the importance of resolving conflicts through respectful communication.
But also don’t force your child to apologise if it’s not their fault, or ask them to forgive for the sole reason of ‘keeping up appearances’.
Sometimes some family members may simply be rotten inside, and you don’t want your children around them anyway.
So, be prudent in this exercise; just because you share blood doesn’t mean you have to forgive and forget.
Encourage Interactions
Your child will eventually form their own tight friendships with their cousins, more so than their adult relatives.
Although this is rare, it does happen. So, make sure to foster these relationships as well.
But when it comes to their younger cousins, make sure to promote plenty of opportunity for them to meet, play or just have conversations.
But this also means not lingering or eavesdropping or even attempting to join in on these interactions if you’re not wanted.
Many childhood friendships are intimate, fragile things full of whispers and secrets. And a nosy adult could easily ruin it.
Allow your child and their cousins their own space to brew their own mischief.
Maintain Those Family Bonds
Remember, each family dynamic is unique. The level of involvement with extended family can vary.
The goal is to create a nurturing environment that allows your child to develop positive relationships and appreciate the value of extended family connections.
Hopefully your child will learn to find their own ways of maintaining contact with their favourite family members.
And when that happens, you can give yourself a pat on the back for a job well done. You’ve got this, my fellow parents!
Disclaimer: The information provided in this article is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as medical advice from Motherhood. For any health-related concerns, it is advisable to consult with a qualified healthcare professional or medical practitioner.
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