When I was expecting, the thing that I need to ensure is my husband’s full involvement in raising our kid. Raised by a strict father, there was less communication between my father and I.
We live under the same roof but it is hard to see us talking to each other. Years passed by and I am all grown up, though we now can communicate better, the feeling is still awkward and the mood is always…weird.
Hence, I made it clear to my husband. I want him to bond well with our children. I believe a father’s role is as important as the mother in raising kids, especially for their better development and I am glad that my husband agreed with this as well.
What is meant by a father figure?
Due to my past experience and my observation, I always believe father has a big influence in shaping the development of children.
I did some research to prove my point and I’m glad to announce that I am all right. Study shows that the presence of father figure especially biological father brings special benefit in children development and no other person could replace it.
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Full commitment and attention
Presence of father in this context is not to only be present, but also ready to give full commitment and attention needed by the kids.
Study shows that a father who lives together and attends all important events is likely to have well-developed children.
Due to some reasons, which often because of work commitment, some fathers could not always be with their children at all time.
However, as we are now living in a high technology world, it is now easier for a father to reach his children though it is limited.
My husband too is in the same case. There were many times that his job requires him to be away for a few days and sometimes weeks.
It is devastated to see our child missing his father. However, everything feels better with a video call every night before sleep and once my husband is back, he will compensate the time he went away by taking our son out more frequently than normal.
Influence of Father On Children Development
The influence of a father on children development is significant. You can see the effects are not only for now but will continue until the child grows up.
Fatherhood has a big impact on shaping the children’s relationship and social development with others including family, friends, and their future spouse. They will have a strong inner core and are unlikely to have sex at an early age.
Also, they will have a better understanding and planning to be in a stable relationship. The presence of a father figure in the house will create more tolerant children that could glow up positively.
Study shows that children that received full love from their father will be more emotionally balanced. Full support from a father could boost their self-esteem making them more confident in facing people.
They too will be more empathetic when dealing with others. Lack of attention from a father often leads to a behavioural problem where children deem to be more abusive and problem in adjusting psychologically.
Children with full support from their father not only excel emotionally but will also do better academically. When they are emotionally balanced, it is easier to absorb everything that they learn.
They will also be better in problem-solving skills and enjoy positive traits that will boost their confidence.
Mother VS Father in Raising Kids
I believe children need their father as much as they need their mother. Both figures play different roles and different parenting style in shaping their kids. Needless to say, there are many times where parenting styles clash with each other.
When most mothers tend to be more soft and secure, the father often raises a child in a rough way. They will play roughly, throw things everywhere, run around and encourage more dangerous and risk-taking activities.
Playing rough with kids as much as it requires much safety, it is beneficial in constructing fairness and discipline, something that a mother often fail to deal emotionally.
Having a rough and tough play with kids will prepare them to face challenges in real life as well as accepting rejection.
Learning in a full discipline will shape the child to be more respectful towards another gender, which later, could reduce the tendency to be abusive in a relationship.
When a mother is in charge of shaping the sympathy and empathy of a child, the father plays an important role in developing independency.
Often you see a mother who will be the first to run when their child is hurting while the father still relaxes and slowly give the encouragement and support when the child has calm down.
From a Father to the Daughter & Son
A Father’s Trait to the Daughters
Children are surrounded by lots of people and it is normal for them to follow the traits of the people that they are close with.
Just like a sponge, children will absorb everything that is presented in front of them. Hence, to have a good father figure is important for their success in the future.
For girls, they see their father as a protector and set them as a benchmark. For a girl with a loving and thoughtful father, she will tend to find a man that has the same trait as his father.
She will have a more clear conscience on which man could fulfil her requirement. That is how important the relationship between a father and a daughter is.
A Father’s Trait to the Sons
Unlike daughters, a father to a son is like his role model. Their father might not be the most perfect man, but sons will always want to be like their father.
Hence they will literally copy almost everything the father does that seems to be successful. Welp, monkey see monkey do.
Son with a good father figure will grow up to be more responsible and respectful which will be obvious in their behaviour.
Sadly, a boy with an abusive and dominating father will have a higher chance to copy everything the father does.
As a woman myself, I urge all women to carefully choose a man who is going to be the father to your child. Fatherhood does have a big influence on children’s development.
Don’t ruin your child’s life by choosing the father figure. Not to mention, giving birth is full of pain, thus, you would not want to have such man who does not appreciate you or your future kids.