We’ve all seen the viral organising and housecleaning videos on social media that hit the spot and give us that satisfying feeling. If only doing actual chores were as enjoyable and simple as watching those videos.
Unfortunately, life is never as it appears on social media, and we’re left to pick things up off the floor on our own. More so now that you have little ones of all ages leaving their traces all over the house, all day, every day, like me.
Oh, how wonderful it would be to have my girls and boy around to help around the house.
But, like many of you mummies out there, it’s a constant battle to find the balance between convincing myself that they should enjoy their childhood and realising that they can do more and learn responsibility by helping around the house.
As a working mother, even if only remotely, it takes a lot of effort to keep a household running like a well-oiled machine.
So, I made an important decision: my three musketeers must pitch in.
Yes, I was concerned at first that they wouldn’t know how to do things correctly. “It would be faster if I did it myself,” is usually the famous last word.
But, mummies, we must relax and allow nature (aided by reinforcements) to take its course.
Let us forego some aesthetics in exchange for numerous long-term benefits.
I also don’t want my children to miss out on opportunities to gain hands-on experience that will help them in the future, because that is ultimately my responsibility as their parent.
Of course, I’ve done my research as much as I can to learn about the benefits and whether doing so has any negative consequences.
Why Giving Kids Chores Can Be Beneficial
Giving children chores helps to train and develop their life skills.
There are numerous advantages to teaching children how to do various household tasks.
Small tasks that usually take me less than five minutes may not seem like much to me.
But to my growing children, these tasks can teach them valuable lessons that will stay with them forever. This is because:
- Chores help them develop self-esteem: My kids can experience a great sense of accomplishment by finishing these small tasks. According to research, kids who have chores tend to have higher self-esteem, be more responsible, have better grades, and are better able to handle frustration and delayed gratification. Additionally, it instils in them a sense of responsibility that will be beneficial as they get older and are tasked with completing schoolwork or other projects.
- Cultivate kindness in helping others: Chores play an important role in instilling a sense of joy in children when they assist others. But, of course, it must be done correctly. Rather than saying, “You must help them because I command you to,” I want them to understand, “We want to help them because they need help and it is good to help people in need.” At the same time, children who have chores to complete learn about self-care and other people’s needs.
- Develop the life skills they need to grow: As a mother, I am constantly considering whether the decisions I make for my children will benefit them in the long run or have a negative impact on them. Doing more for them gives them a sense of security. But if I continue to do so, I am preventing my children from learning appropriate skills, limiting their ability to function appropriately for their age. I don’t want my kids to be in college and still not know how to do their own laundry or cook for themselves.
- Chores give children a sense of belonging: Assigning tasks to everyone in the family, including the children, will allow us to bond. We’re always looking for things to do outside the house, and it’s easy to forget that home is where we make memories. Chores can create special moments between parents and children when everyone contributes to keeping the home comfortable and clean. Hopefully, doing so will teach my children that they are valuable members of the family and that they are needed and loved in this home.
What Chores Are My Kids Helping With?
Among the other things I looked up online was what chores to start involving kids with around the house.
When assigning chores to our children, we must consider their age, maturity level, physical ability, and interests.
With my 9, 7, and 3-year-olds, I came up with different strategies while ensuring that they are doable and appropriate so that I can set them up for success and allow them to reap the benefits in the long run.
For my eldest ‘kakak‘
I still can’t believe I have a daughter who is already in her early adolescence.
My first child is quickly becoming my right-hand woman, on whom I can rely on occasion.
She is extremely helpful when I need someone to watch over the little ones during playtime.
It also helps when I begin to understand her interests better.
I would have her help with preparing and cooking food for her and her younger siblings because she was usually so eager to help around the kitchen when the adults were preparing meals (with my supervision, of course).
I can see her confidence growing, and she’s even open to trying new recipes and making them from scratch.
For my prince
My seven-year-old son is truly unique. He’s adamant about carrying on with whatever activities he sets his mind to and not letting anything stop him, so getting him to do something may take a few tries.
I’m also practising to make sure I stay on track and don’t give up and ask his older sister for help at the end. Surrendering will tell him that it’s fine not to do it because his sister will clean up after him.
For the time being, he’s a pro at tidying his toys, which I believe is because he understands those toys are his responsibility.
Experts suggest that for primary-schoolers like him, he can be responsible for clearing the table after meals by putting plates and cutlery in the sink, so I’m thinking about going in that direction.
For my little threenager
My third child will be four this year, putting her somewhere between toddler and preschooler.
The appropriate chores vary depending on the age of the child, but she may be more aware of her surroundings and the things that need picking up or cleaning up because she has her older brother and sister as role models.
Seeing her running to the kitchen or grabbing tissues to wipe up spillage and messes is the cutest thing in my eyes.
Do Chores Together As a Family
Keep in mind that our goal is to teach them to be more responsible rather than obedient.
It will not work if we continue to give them direct orders that they must obey.
By doing so, our children will only do what they are told rather than feel accountable and aware that we all have a responsibility to one another.
They will also be happy to do chores if they can do them with us and have fun while doing so.
So, I hope this information will help you, my fellow mums, to get an idea of how to give chores to your little soldiers at home. Good luck, mummies!
Disclaimer: The information provided in this article is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as medical advice from Motherhood. For any health-related concerns, it is advisable to consult with a qualified healthcare professional or medical practitioner.
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