Let’s talk about what needs to happen before sex.
Maybe it can even be categorised as pre-foreplay.
Oooh yes, juicy indeed, because nothing is sexier than the man of the house chipping in to do the housework.
Think about it – your husband cleaning the dishes, sweeping the floor, and hanging the clothes. Isn’t that a turn on? So much so that you just might be ready to make baby number two or three (or four) tonight!
But have you wondered why it is so? Hollywood has romanticised a sexy man to be tall, dark, and handsome, with irresistible cologne, a half-smile, and a muscled body.
But most married women would agree that once the ring is on, the looks don’t matter as much. When you’re a mother, you’d be looking more at your baby than your man.
Motherhood is tiring – do you agree?
And though more men are getting involved with the running of the household these days, it’s still far from lightening our burdens – not all of us, but some of us.
So when he’s giving us the hint of making another one, all you want to say is “Well honey, maybe not tonight…” or “Maybe when this one right here with us leaves for university, alright?”
When running the house and caring for your child is taking a toll on you, the last thing you want to do is to have sexy time.
But, what if there’s a way around it? What if you could strike an understanding with him without the nagging?
Perhaps, we can offer some insights!
Wives feel it’s a sign of love and care when husbands contribute to household chores
Though the gender gap is fast closing in between men and women, splitting household chores seem to be a matter that’s out of the equation.
Granted that chores are not necessarily exciting, to begin with, the responsibility usually falls on the woman because of traditional house roles created by our forefathers.
There are men who do housework, but generally speaking, women do much more.
However, what if men thought about doing chores as relieving you of the work, so you have more time to devote yourself to him and the children? Theoretically, it’s simple.
Instead of working women doing 80% of the housework and working men doing the 20%, coming to a middle ground where both contribute will take a burden off the wife’s shoulders. After all, love is a verb.
Nobody can pour out of an empty cup. And when a woman has time for self-love, it’ll definitely overflow to her husband and children.
When men willingly do the housework (without being nagged), wives feel like they’re being loved and pampered. When that happens, they’ll actually have the strength and motivation to turn the heat up in the bedroom.
Sign of a capable husband and father
If your husband makes you feel like you just adopted a child from your in-laws, chances are, you’ll not be looking forward to having another child soon.
Imagine this:
You just came back home from picking up your child from the babysitter after work. You hurry home to prep dinner for your child and cook a simple meal for both you and your husband. Your child makes a mess out of the dining table, playing catapult with the rice meal, and you glance over at your husband, still in work clothes and fixing up his Nintendo for a chillout session after work before dinner.
Sigh.
Do you think making another child will cross your mind?
Nope.
But cross is the emotion you’ll be very much inclined to feel.
However, if your husband is with you in the kitchen, helping out with the mess your toddler just made, it’ll feel as if both of you are doing this whole family thing together.
It shows that he’s a capable husband and father. Knowing that assures you that when the next one comes along, he’ll continue to be devoted to the family.
Shared childcare chores equal more sex
OK, so maybe both of you do want another child because that’s part of the roadmap to building your family.
However, when you’ve got your hands full with office work, motherly duties, and household tasks, baby-making will have to wait. It’s not just about how women feel personally, it’s scientifically proven, too!
The paper entitled The Division of Childcare, Sexual Intimacy, and Relationship Quality in Couples by the American Sociological Association (ASA) found that couples who split childcare duties have higher quality relationships and sex lives than those who don’t.
It also states that, unlike mothers, fathers who share the load in child-rearing are not negatively impacted in their personal lives or relationships. Most of the men involved in the research still had the drive for sex despite being a more involved father.
Persuasion; not force
Alas, the only person that can bear a child in this relationship is the woman. Sometimes, men just need to understand that we’re not baby-making machines.
If men or their families want another child but the women don’t want more (not so soon), men should not force but persuade with actions.
It’s a play on equality and understanding.
This part is tricky because it involves both the husband and wife putting forward their needs and wants on the table and verbally sorting the issues and responsibilities.
Wives, if you didn’t already notice, nagging doesn’t work as talking down to your husband and airing everything that’s wrong with him is not going to spur him to be that helpful husband you want. However, keep in mind that changes do not happen overnight.
Husbands, it’s likely that your wives are turned on by your romantic gestures and your sexual advances.
However, if they see a pile of unfolded clothes behind you or toys strewn on the living room floor, they might get irritated and overwhelmed by the chores that still need to be done, they might just reject the sexcapades you’re suggesting.
Now, this might be a highly unpopular opinion, but a happy marriage (with sex included) involves both husband and wife constantly giving to each other and emotionally filling each other up.
Trying to get pregnant?
While navigating home responsibilities and sexual satisfaction with your husband, both should also know that the female body is not always ready for conception. Maximise your success of conceiving by knowing when you’re ovulating.
How do you know?
Through an ovulation test!
There’s a smart tool on the market named Clearblue® Digital Ovulation Test. It uses only your urine to accurately detect your LH surge, which happens 24 to 36 hours before ovulation. Because it’s digital, the results are over 99% accurate – as accurate as a doctor’s test!
Don’t want to have sex for the sake of sex when you’re ovulating? You have 48 hours to relax, get into the mood, and set the tone of the night once your test reveals a smiley face.
The smiley face indicates an LH surge in your body, and hence, the chances of getting pregnant are high.
Are you pregnant?
Not all pregnancy kits are the same. All Clearblue® Digital Pregnancy Tests are clinically proven to be over 99% accurate at detecting pregnancy from the day you expect your period.
Depending on when you’re testing, there’s a Clearblue® kit that’ll reveal your results in 3 minutes, with 99% accuracy as it detects the amounts of hCG in your urine.
Visit Clearblue®’s official website and Clearblue Official Brand Page here for more details!
P/S: Remember to share these findings with your husband because *ahem* it takes two to tango.