Secrets to living harmoniously with in-laws? Yes, you read right! So, your wedding day is around the corner! There you are, filled with butterflies on thoughts of not just your special day, but also on how your life is going to change soon. What a sweet turning point in life!
While it is completely normal to feel anxious, you should also prepare yourself to adapt in a new environment and circle soon.
More so if soon after your solemnisation, you will move into your in-laws’. Why? Because things might be totally different there compared to the home you grew up in. What do you think should be your priorities if you want to live harmoniously with your in-laws?
1. Respect Each Other
Needless to say, everyone should be respected and valued regardless of age. Especially our elders, they deserve our utmost respect as they are our community’s torchbearer. They show us guidance, impart wisdom, and share their valuable experiences with us.
This should be practised, especially towards the elders in our family. Our family deserves the best from us.
As you are living together, it is important to always respect their privacy. For example, never enter their room without their consent. Remember, although they have welcomed you as part of the family, you must not enter rooms without permission.
Besides that, it is important to be mindful when handling objects around in the house. Always ask permission whenever it is necessary, such as using fragile and valuable things. This is a sign of respect when you acknowledge them as the owners.
Apart from that, do inform your parents-in-law upon arriving and leaving the house whenever it is possible. Usually, parents are the ones who worry most about us, after all. Even though you are an adult, it is polite to let the family members know of your whereabouts.
In anything you do, always respect your parents-in-law. In order to be valued, you have to prove yourself by showing equal gestures first. Always keep in mind that respect is earned, and not to be taken for granted.
2. Love Unconditionally and Express Your Gratitude
Similarly with your birth parents, they deserve just as much care. While it is totally understandable that things are still new to you, you have to try your best to love them unconditionally. To give a simple analogy to this, just imagine how you would want your partner to treat your parents.
Hence, you should do the same. A married couple should not differentiate the treatments given to each other’s parents. Instead, love and appreciate them equally.
Always appreciate them by expressing your gratitude whenever you can. For example, when they need you to run some errands or spend time with them, be there for them, listen to them, and willingly help them.
These types of gestures will in-turn strengthen the familial bond. On a side note, this does not only apply to your parents-in-law, but other family members, too.
While living in your marital and busy life, it is important to always spare some free time to spend with your loved ones. A good and mainstream example would be to take your parents-in-law to dine at a newly opened restaurant and spend quality time together.
Always express your love and cherish each other.
3. Communication is Key
Wherever you are, communication is key. To blend in, you have to communicate well with the crowd. The same goes with living with your in-laws.
Essentially, it is inevitable to avoid misunderstandings and false assumptions. These situations usually happen because you still do not understand each other well. So, things are bound to be messy.
Through effective communication, these can be avoided or at the very least, minimised. Some misunderstandings are pretty huge, which in turn might cause a stir in your marriage.
Hence, always try to communicate well with them. If there is any problem, try to discuss calmly with them. Make sure you convey your messages clearly.
Even if everything is fine, you can always talk to them. A healthy communication can be practised through casual yet warm conversations.
4. Be Compassionate and Tolerant
One quality that you should have as an adult is to be able to understand other people’s situations and tolerate things that are unpleasant to you. These are among the great qualities that you need when sharing a life with others.
Often times, the truth does not seem as how we perceive it. Sometimes, it is even beyond our comprehension. When living with in-laws, it is important to be empathetic and compassionate towards each other.
Let’s say, your father-in-law is facing a crisis at his workplace and upon arriving home, he responds to you coldly. At this time, instead of taking it to heart, be considerate by understanding that he might be having a bad day. Even if you do not know what triggers the sour behaviour, it is better to allow some positivity.
Whenever you are facing difficulty in adapting to this new life, always be tolerant and optimistic. Avoid any assumptions, especially the negative ones as that is one step for a blissful and healthy married life.
Living with in-laws can be challenging, especially if their lifestyles are totally different from ours. However, if you do it in the right way and sincerely, things are more likely to work out in your favour. Remember, always love and appreciate each other!
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