The art of appreciation starts by having gratitude and thankfulness, which are values that are the trickiest to instil into our little kiddos. Who are most by nature are quite self-centred. However, they are other important values to build in them that can mean a difference. Kids who are not taught to be grateful end up feeling entitled that they can get everything they want.
Indeed, instilling grateful feelings now will benefit your child later in life. A study at the University of California at Davis in the early 2000s showed that grateful people report higher levels of happiness and optimism – along with lower levels of depression and stress. The catch is, no one is born grateful! Recognising that someone has gone out of the way to do something nice for you does not occur naturally for children – it has to be taught.
The Art of Appreciation 101
Teaching Gratitude in the Early Years
Toddlers are by definition are an egocentric group of little ones. But that does not mean that we can’t nurture the art of appreciating in them. Children as young as 15 to 18 months can begin to grasp concepts that lead to gratitude. It begins when they start to understand that they dependant on their Mummy, Daddy and other family members do things for them. Parents who openly show their appreciation for little gestures towards them are likely to raise appreciative children.
Children as young as two years old emulate what they see at home and if they are surrounded by people who never forget to say “thank you” or “that’s so nice of you!” pretty soon that attitude can’t help, pure and simple! If taught right and if they are brought up in favourable surroundings, by age 4, children can easily understand about being thankful not only for material things like toys but for acts of kindness, love and care are given to them.
The Right Way To Teach Them!
Children watch and copy their family members in every way, so make sure you use “please” and “thank you” amongst yourselves and most importantly when you talk to them. “Thanks for that hug, it made Mummy really happy!” or “How nice of you to help me get that” are not mere words to children. They’re lessons that are being absorbed into their minds as the way things should be and how they should behave! Insist on their using similar words, too. After all, you will find that good manners and gratitude overlap in one’s behaviour, old or young!
Work On Gratitude
If you haven’t been giving it much thought before this, try weaving appreciation for seemingly mundane things into your everyday conversations “We’re so lucky to have a kind Aunt like Aunty Anna”, or “Isn’t this soup delicious?“, or even “ I feel so happy when you listen to me!” When reinforced frequently enough, the ideas of showing gratitude and feeling thankful are more likely to stick. One old-fashioned, time-tested idea is to discuss “all the good things that happened today” as part of the dinnertime conversation. Try it!
Get The Kids To Help
The following has happened to almost every one of us. We assign our little one a chore, but it’s too agonising to wait for them take forever to complete it- be it clearing the table or putting away their toys. In the end, the temptation to do it ourselves and be done with it always wins over. Here’s the thing! The more you do for them, the less they learn to appreciate your efforts. (Don’t you yourself feel more empathy for people who work outside on smouldering hot days when you’ve just been out there watering the plants or hanging out the clothes to dry?) By participating in seemingly mundane chores like feeding the pet, setting the table or sorting out the family laundry, kids realise that all these things Mummy or Daddy do for the family take effort.
Engage in a goodwill project together. This does not mean you drag your little kiddo off to serve in a soup kitchen every week. Instead, there are many other ways a child can actively participate in helping someone else. It could be something as simple as baking a batch of cookies for a sick neighbour or relative. As you’re stirring the batter or adding the chocolate chips, try talking or explaining about why you’re making them for this special person and also how happy the recipient will be.
Encourage Generosity
There are so many associations, homes and orphanages that could do with a little kindness from the public. You can begin by visiting one of these with goodies or cash. Take your child with you, explaining to him or her why you’re doing this which is to help the less fortunate and to let them feel some happiness their lives. Let your child see you go through your closet for clothes to give away to those in need. Tell your child that no matter how much you like an item of clothing, you feel that someone else needs it more! It might inspire them to go through their own stuff and give something special to those in need as well!
The Value Of Thank-You Notes
Familiarise your kids from a very young age with the concept of “Thank you” notes. Whenever your child receives a gift or if someone has done something nice for them, insist that the giver be sent a note of appreciation! If it’s from a toddler, the card or note can be just scribbles or doodles with your own thank-you attached. As your child grows older, their own efforts of better drawings and longer notes can be included. Young children can also ‘dictate’ a thank-you note while Mummy writes it down. Just the act of saying out loud why he or she loved the gift/gesture is capable of instilling the vibes of gratefulness.
We Can’t Always Get What We Want
It’s rare if a child does not ask for toys, video games, cookies and candy sometimes on an hourly basis. Kids will be kids and they will not give up! However, do know that it’s difficult, if not impossible, to feel grateful for anything when your every whim is granted without fail. Besides, saying “no” more frequently makes “yes” that much sweeter.
Patience Is A Virtue!
If you’re only just beginning to try to make little appreciative angels out of your demanding little ones, don’t expect great changes overnight as it requires weeks, months, even years of reinforcement. However, trust in yourself, for you will be rewarded! The key is to showcase your own appreciation for life and all the good things your family and you enjoy! Talk about them more often to your little one. Slowly but surely, they’ll get it!
How about that? We hope this write up inspires all you to encourage and nurture the art of appreciation. Everything takes time, courage and patience to achieve. May it be worthwhile for all parents.
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