Being a parent has always been a challenge. After more than three months, how has the MCO been treating you? How has it changed your parenting style? What types of parent have you become?
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picture credit: Syaheera Rara
Undoubtedly, the pandemic doesn’t help much. The school is off, the playground is an out-of-bound area, the restaurants and the malls are not the places to be. All you have is that tiny house of yours to cramp in with the whole family 24-7.
To recall, after more than a month in this enforcement, it is not a surprise that many parents started to see the blessings behind the tragedy and some might wish this could end yesterday. Our patience was tested, our task multiplied and our decision was being disputed.
As parents, we definitely want the best for our children. We want to ensure their safety, both physical and emotional. Yet, some parents might find it difficult while some successfully undergo this time smoothly.
picture credit: Ayu Rahim
Are you on the right track? What parenting style have you adopted, with or without you realizing it? Check out the list:
Types of Parents
1. Authoritarian Parents
The type who upholds the “My Way or the Highway” mantra. You are a non-nonsense types of parent who put attention on punishment if mistakes were committed. In other words, you are a dictator’s parent. Perhaps the MCO is too hard on you that leaves you no room for negotiation with the kids.
2. Permissive Parents
The opposite of authoritarianism is the Permissive Parents. You do not put boundaries to your kids and you must have got confused between love endlessly and raising humans the way they should. You give in to all your children’s demands, easily. You might think the MCO is the time you have to spend with them and you just let them be.
3. Neglectful Parents
You are so caught up with your own world that you tend to ignore your own children. Work might be your number one priority and you take it seriously even when you are working from home during this MCO.
4. Overprotective Parents
Some of us just couldn’t keep a sane mind about the well-being of our children, even when the kids are around 24-7 and got nowhere to go. Being protective is every parent’s nature but being overprotective can give negative effects on our children’s growth. Not letting go would mean not allowing the kids to learn anything in order to live. A definite no-no!
5. Narcissistic Parents
Different from authoritarian, a narcissistic parent will often choose to control their children with threats and emotional abuse. Narcissistic parents are non-negotiable, inflexible and lack empathy. If you tend to see this kind of behaviour, stop, ponder and seek help, if needed. Always remember kids will always be kids and we have to be the wise adult in the house.
6. Polarised Parents
MCO gave the opportunity for both parents to be in the house with the children at one time, for some time.Perhaps, the first two weeks were great bonding moments with the kids. As time
passes, the trend is changing. While one parent wants something for the children, the other wants something else. Disagreement leads to perpetual battle which results in children manipulating the whole situation.
7. Authoritative Parents
There’s no surprise that school will not be reopened except for the fifth and sixth former. So parents, hold your horses! Be patient and more patient. Diana Baumrind, a psychologist, is well-known for the parenting style definition which one of the three definitions is an Authoritative Parents.
This is the healthy parenting style. Authoritative parents are firm but not harsh in punishment and open for discussions. This is the most constructive style towards building a healthy family.
So which one are your parenting styles or what have you become after the lockdown?
Our parenting style plays a bigger part in raising successful children. It is important for us to raise them rightfully. You might want to consider the following tips as guidelines for best parenting.
Tips of Good Parenting
1. Role model
Lead by examples. Be the best role model for our children. Our children will become who we are, so be who you want them to be. Let them witness the right way to live life and may they grow up great.
2. Firm but kind
Kids can outsmart us if we don’t be careful. At some points, if the situation requires us to be firm, be firm. But always remember to kind to them. Harsh punishment doesn’t work except if we want them to grow up in a fearful environment.
3. Communicate
Children need to be told if they did something wrong and if they were right. Recognise their efforts and improvements. Correct them when they are wrong with patience. Tell them what’s right and what’s not.
4. Answer them
Children ask a lot of questions. They ask because they don’t know and they want to know. Don’t shut them off no matter how silly the questions are. And don’t ever tell lies just because they ask taboo questions. Teach them, guide them, explain to them. The best explanation they could get will always be from their parents.
5. Love, love, love
Every child is different. They don’t come in one-size-fits-all. As the wise one, we should learn to be the best parents for our children. Love never fails. So, love,love and love them.
Being parents is a responsibility and hardwork. It’s discovering the strengths you never knew you had and dealing with fears you didn’t exist. There’s no Parenting 101 manual that comes with those beautiful children of yours. We won’t know how the future will be, but we can always thrive for the best.