When someone says ‘Let the child take the lead’, what exactly are they talking about?
Is it just letting your kids do whatever they want or is there something deeper behind this buzzword we keep hearing?
In a previous piece, we explored the growing curiosity around Self-Directed Learning (SDL) in Malaysia and the questions many parents were asking.
Now, we’re following up with expert insights to take that conversation further.
We spoke to Ms Najmi Haniffah, a Play and Early Childhood Educator and Advocator who works under the guidance of Dr Putri Afzan Maria Zulkifli, one of Malaysia’s leading voices in learner-led education.
In this expert-backed follow-through, we break down what SDL actually looks like, how it works within Malaysia’s exam-heavy culture, and how you, as a parent, can start applying it at home, even in small ways.
What Exactly Is Self-Directed Learning?
At its core, Self-Directed Learning is about helping children take ownership of their learning journey.
But it’s not a free-for-all.
As Ms Najmi explains, it’s the process of helping children ‘build their own structure’ – learning how to make decisions, solve problems, and reflect on what matters to them.
One way she describes it is with a quote from Dr Putri Afzan Maria Zulkifli, who says, ‘SDL is the process of transferring the motivation and responsibility of learning from the adult to the child, with the right tools, and at the right time.’
That means a child might say, ‘I want to build a catapult, can you help me figure out how to balance the arms?’ instead of waiting for an adult to assign a lesson on fractions.
‘It’s not about letting go,’ says Ms Najmi. ‘It’s about handing over with trust: step by step.’
Can SDL Work in Malaysia’s Exam-Focused Culture?
Let’s be honest, most of us grew up in a system centred on exams, syllabuses, and fixed standards.
So, naturally, SDL feels like a big shift.
But as Ms Najmi puts it,
‘SDL doesn’t reject structure, it just shifts the ownership of it.’
Quoting lessons learned from Dr Putri, ‘Memorising for exams isn’t the same as knowing how to think, create, and apply.’
SDL helps children co-create their own learning path, within boundaries and develop one of the most undervalued skills in our education system: ownership.
A Day in the Life of a Self-Directed Learner
An SDL day isn’t rigid but it isn’t chaotic either.
‘Each learner moves at their own pace,’ says Ms Najmi, ‘but with intention.’
Mornings might start with reflection: What am I working on? What do I want to improve today?
Some children go deep into personal projects, others join discussions, give feedback, or work through real-life challenges.
There are no ‘teachers’ in the traditional sense.
Instead, facilitators act more like coaches – observing, prompting, and nudging learners to think for themselves.
‘Freedom in learning doesn’t mean no structure – it means the structure is co-created with the learner.’
But What If My Child Isn’t Ready to Take Charge?
This is one of the most common concerns and Ms Najmi says it’s completely normal.
‘Most children are used to being told what to do not being asked what they want to do,’ she shares. ‘That’s why we don’t throw them into SDL unprepared. We scaffold the process.’
That might start with small choices, like picking what book to read or how to present their work.
Over time, they’re encouraged to set their own goals and reflect on progress.
The key is trust and patience.
Ms Najmi adds bearing in mind her time with Dr Putri: ‘Independence in learning must be modelled, scaffolded, and trusted into existence.’
Can It Work Alongside Big Malaysian Exams?
Exams aren’t going away and SDL doesn’t ignore them.
Instead, it offers a different path to get there.
Ms Najmi explains that rather than drilling from the outside, SDL builds planning, reflection, and metacognition from the inside.
Students learn how to study because they’ve already learned how to learn.
‘You can’t expect a child to manage exams independently if they’ve never had the chance to manage their own learning in the first place.’
What Can Parents Do at Home?
For many parents, SDL may feel unfamiliar.
But Ms Najmi is quick to reassure: ‘You don’t need to turn your home into a school. Just create space for curiosity.’
This could mean letting your child explore their questions.
Saying, ‘I don’t know, let’s find out together.’
Or stepping back when they struggle instead of rushing to fix everything.
Dr Putri’s advice, which Ms Najmi often echoes, is simple.
‘The home doesn’t need to become a classroom, it just needs to be a safe place for thinking and wondering out loud.’
When the Learning Path Looks Different
There are times when SDL doesn’t look like ‘progress’, especially to anxious parents.
Ms Najmi has had to reassure many, especially when milestones like reading come later than expected.
She shares the story of one learner who was completely silent when he started.
He barely engaged with adults, only whispering to a friend or two.
Slowly, through trust and space, he began to speak, then build, then create.
He now presents confidently, runs a small ice-lolly business, and dreams of building a mosque.
‘This is the part of learning you don’t see in test scores,’ says Ms Najmi. ‘But it matters just as much.’
She often reminds parents:
‘In SDL, what you don’t see at first is often what matters most: confidence, persistence, curiosity.’
What If My Child Struggles with SDL?
‘Struggle is part of the process and that’s okay,’ says Ms Najmi.
Some children feel overwhelmed by choice.
Others don’t know how to begin.
But the solution isn’t to remove the challenge, it’s to walk with them through it.
Facilitators use visual tools, checklists, and regular reflections to guide learners.
The goal isn’t perfection but it’s growth.
Real Skills That Last a Lifetime
Ms Najmi has seen students grow not just as learners, but as people.
They develop emotional regulation, time management, collaboration, and self-awareness.
‘I’ve watched children sit with big emotions and express themselves with more clarity than some adults.’
SDL, she believes, doesn’t just create school-ready kids. It creates life-ready individuals.
Why SDL Matters in a Changing World
As industries evolve and the future of work becomes less predictable, Ms Najmi believes SDL offers something powerful: adaptability.
‘Children today need to know how to learn, unlearn, and relearn,’ she says, referencing futurist Alvin Toffler. ‘And that’s exactly what SDL fosters.’
‘In a world that keeps rewriting the rules, SDL helps learners write their own.’
Are Malaysian Schools Catching On?
‘Yes, slowly but meaningfully,’ says Ms Najmi.
More schools are experimenting with project-based learning, flexible timetables, and student-led inquiry.
There’s more talk of ‘student agency’ and ‘active learning’ – but also a lot of misunderstanding.
Want to try SDL in your everyday parenting? Start small.
‘Let your child make a real decision like what to wear, what book to read, how to spend an hour and let the choice stand.’
Then ask these core questions:
- What worked?
- What didn’t?
- What would you do differently?
As Dr Putri beautifully puts it, ‘You don’t need a new curriculum to start SDL. You just need a new conversation.’
If you’re a parent looking to raise curious, capable, and confident learners, don’t be afraid to start small or make mistakes along the way.
It is in those imperfect, honest moments that both we and our children truly begin to learn.
All the best, parents!
Disclaimer: The information provided in this article is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as medical advice from Motherhood. For any health-related concerns, it is advisable to consult with a qualified healthcare professional or medical practitioner.
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