Motherhood CN

Reasons Why Your Spouse May Feel Abandoned

Being married does not equal to a fulfilled emotional tank. Some people think that they will no longer, for example, feel lonely when they get married.

On the contrary, if their partner does not play their role well, they might feel lonelier than ever.

What did they actually do to make their partner feel abandoned?

5 Actions Which Can Make Your Partner Feel Abandoned

#1. You are too busy with your life

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Image credit: istockphoto

It is natural that once you get married, your commitments will start piling up. You have to provide for your children, pay the bills and so on.

To fulfill those, you will spend most of your time away from home and probably, your partner, too. You might get too busy with your job that you only get home just to sleep.

Having said that, things are worse for those who even sleep at their workplace.

And for some people, they might spend some additional time for their hobbies and with friends.

With such lifestyle, how exactly can you be there for your partner?

All those time you spent away from them will gradually make them feel abandoned. It is as if they are not married and living their life alone. What could be worse than that for a spouse?

#2. You are inattentive to their needs

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When you are married, you should be willing to comply to your spouse’s demands and needs.

Different people are individually unique with different needs. It is your responsibility to understand your partner’s needs and try your best to attend to them.

Simply put, you have to put your spouse as one of your top priorities. When you did not, they will feel neglected and question their worth in your life.

It is not necessarily something big though. Sometimes, it is small thing which matters the most. Take for example, some women really appreciate a short quality time in the morning such as cuddling and wishing each other well before you depart on your own.

When you put efforts to look after their needs, they will feel loved and know for sure that you do care.

#3. You did not communicate effectively with them

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Assumption, negative thinking and baseless thoughts; these are all silent killers in a relationship. When the communication between spouses is ineffective, these will start to crawl in.

The essence of communicating well is it must be done according to the other party’s perception. You might think you have chose the right words, conveyed them with the right intonation and gestures but your partner may have still ended up misunderstanding you.

For example, when you are arguing, you must explain yourself in ways which your partner can understand easily. Avoid any approaches that can trigger them and make the heated argument worse.

Even when you are not arguing or discussing, communication is much essential. In many situations, you should initiate the conversation such as informing your spouse when you are leaving the house, telling them who you will be meeting with especially if it is with someone of opposite gender and why are you late and not replying their messages.

Early explanation will not only avoid misunderstanding, but it also shows that you care. You do not want to risk them having negative thoughts and false assumptions so you should make things clear beforehand.

#4. You do not spend enough quality time together

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As you are busy with other commitments, you are forgetting the ones towards each other. Married couples keep forgetting this: Although you are married, you should not stop romancing each other.

Couples are often seen romantic with their partner before marriage. Unfortunately, their intimacy is gradually fading as years go by. In actuality, this is normal and happening to many couples out there.

Why did that happen? And why is it considered a normal change in a relationship?

It is because your life is changing its course. Before then, you did not have much responsibilities as now and you do have time to shower them with more love.

And now things changed. Rightly, so do you and your partner. But that does not mean it should stay that way. Remember, intimacy is essential part in a relationship!

So what you should do is, just continue flirting and loving your partner the way you did before. In fact, it should be more intense as both of you are married now, so things are less limited.

You must steal some time to be with each other without other’s presence. This is important as to not lose your romance and strengthen your intimacy.

Just work your way; book a hotel’s room, dine in at someplace nice, take a stroll in a garden or along the beach, go shopping for each other needs, have a picnic at the river and much more.

In your efforts to live a good life, do not forget the importance of your spouse in it.

#5. You let them on their own for too long

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It is undeniable that life can be tough and you need a partner which is independent and able to work their way versatilely.

But you might overlook the negative part in this. That you probably have let them on their own for too long or too far.

Most of the time, it is always nice to have someone helping or at least accompanying you, right? That is probably how your spouse is feeling, too.

However, due to life constraints, you let this pass. You think your partner understands the situation well and they can be on their own.

Yes, they might. But you as their partner should not let them, especially for too long. You should help them from time to time and for the rest, let them do it by themselves .

Be there for each other. Any activities that you can do together, just work it as one. Do not get used to letting them be or do it on their own. It might be a habit for you which eventually will make them think:

If I can and must do everything by myself, what’s the point of marrying?

Some of us perhaps have reach this point. It can bring toxicity to your life and relationship. Whenever such thought came, remember that you marry to give and one of it is by advising and discussing with your partner for your betterment together.

Image credit: istockphoto

A marriage is a path which always need to be improved. And that has to be, by both side; the husband and wife.

Just live, cherish each other and drown them in your love. Do not let them feel abandoned or neglected in any way. Always, be present and prioritise each other.

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