Once, I was talking to an elderly lady who, in a reminiscent manner, told me that she was proud she raised her son to be thoughtful and charitable. It struck me as odd because most parents would rather raise and boast of their children being successful or wealthy.
But that lady was correct. In a world where money, status and success is hallowed, being thoughtful and charitable is just a virtue that is great to have, akin to an accessory for an outfit.
If you are here, I assume that you, too, want to raise thoughtful, charitable and grateful children.
Firstly, bravo to you!
Next, let’s get to work by instilling the value of giving in four different ways.
Know the Cause
Being charitable is not an event that happens during special occasions like Christmas, Hari Raya, Chinese New Year, Deepavali or birthdays. It is a way of thinking and not a community service to check off so you are labelled ‘nice’ instead of ‘naughty’.
Children must get to know the ‘whats’ and the ‘whys’ of the charity they are doing, so their motive is set right from the start.
To quote writer A.W. Tozer, “As water cannot rise higher than its source, so the moral quality in an act can never be higher than the motive that inspires it.”
As parents, you can talk to them about different charity causes around your area. They can range from environmental, education, animal, and community development. As you teach them, listen to them, too.
Soon, they will develop an interest in a cause they feel more passionately about.
Monetary Donation
Mummy and daddy could be the sole contributor when it comes to monetary donations to charitable organisations, but financial contributions out of your child’s hard-earned money are more impactful.
If your child receives a daily, weekly or monthly allowance, encourage them to set aside a small percentage to give to a charity they want to support. If not, you can also encourage them to donate a part of the money they received during festive or birthday celebrations to a cause. Having a charity box where they drop in their change (similar to a piggy bank) is a simple way to visually and actively contribute to a cause.
If they are not keen to donate, there is no need to force or guilt-trip them. However, you can set a good example by supporting your charitable organisation of choice.
Donating Items
Once your child has grown out of their clothes, almost-unworn shoes, toys and storybooks, we will do a spring clean to donate all the items to charities or shelters that need them. Instead of doing it behind the scenes, bring them along with you and let them know where their old belongings are going and how they may impact another child’s life.
You can also actively request that they sort out their old toys for donation. Giving them control over what they want to give allows them to process the action and make them feel good about being generous.
During this Covid-19 pandemic, many individuals and families have banded together to set up food banks, deliver foodstuff to families in need or cook for vagabonds in soup kitchens. I know parents who involve their children by getting them to pack and sort the items for charity. However, don’t miss the opportunity to educate them on what they are doing it for.
Contributing Time
Many times, people think charity is only giving stuff and money, but homes and organisations do need people to contribute time as well. There are many volunteer opportunities and programs for teens and some for primary school children.
Let your children know that charity does not only mean extending a helping hand to people in a home or unfortunate families, it can also mean teaching a fellow classmate that has missed classes or sharing skills with friends.
Contributing time can also mean volunteering to be a part of a charity show with a group of other people. This opportunity usually comes during festive seasons where there are musical performances or theatrical plays.
If your child is too young, visiting and conversing with elderly folk (not just in old folk homes) in the community can also teach them to be charitable with their time. Elderly folk do feel lonely, and having people to talk to can put a smile on their faces.
The Institute of Family Studies in the United States found that loneliness among the elderly is a health hazard and mixed-age care actually helps both sides of the divide. Young children are seen to have more advanced motor and cognitive skills with advanced social and emotional competencies when they spend time with the elderly. These seniors, on the other hand, reported improved health and reduced agitation.
Leading by Example
It is great to have aspirations for your children that include kindness and charity, however, we also need to understand that humans are innately selfish beings. When teaching your child to be generous, you might face setbacks that include defiant shouts or quiet sobs. If that happens, your child is not ready to give something that they are attached to (especially toys). You don’t have to push or threaten them to do it. They will be more open to the idea as you continue guiding them.
When they first start to show signs of generosity, encourage and praise them.
Also, your children should be given the choice of who they want to contribute to, as it can make a difference in their well-being. It is more than what mommy or daddy wants me to do, it is more of what they have done for the society, based on their choice.
We must remember that the foundation of a generous and charitable child is what was modelled to them. If more and more parents modelled kindness and generosity, more children grow into loving individuals that will change society in the future.
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