Having a baby is all about changes. Your lifestyle will be changed. Less time spends together with your wife. Then there come the changes your Daddy friends had warned you, like sleepless nights, changing diapers, baby toys around every corner of the house, and many more.
Some of them have been typical, where you don’t get much sleep for several months. No more romantic dates with her or even a simple coffee talk. Your wife is dedicating her 100% to the baby and you until she forgets about herself.
No discrimination here but husband often gets off easy with this kind of thing because it’s not their bodies that change dramatically during pregnancy, and they’re not the ones who have to endure all sorts of other physical and emotional changes after the birth.
But men do carry part of the load, and there are many dramatic changes that husband and wife endure together once a new baby is born. It is never wrong to learn and observe your wife and know what to do in this stage.
Things Husband Should Know about Their Wife after The Baby Arrived
She will be more critical of herself.
Before anyone does, she will observe herself in the mirror more often and see the physical changes she’s gone through. Those changes weren’t that big or noticeable but she might notice it even more magnified in her eyes.
At this point, you should stand by her side, reassure her with more pleasant words. Tell her that she is still the most beautiful woman in the world.
Your wife might be complaining to you that her body isn’t the way it was before. All you have to do is to just tell her that you see no changes and she is just perfect as how she is always.
She will expect more of you.
You can’t just sit and relax anymore. You have to contribute something to everything that needs to be done. She might suddenly expect you to step up to the plate and save the game, every single time.
Your baby will now need more space than you and your wife need. Once you are home, there might be diapers to change, bottles to sterilize, tons of clothes to wash, groceries to buy, and many more.
Be ready to fill your loving car full of baby’s things. Also prepare a room specially for your little one.
It’s okay to sacrifice your time and things for your little one as your wife sacrificed a lot and still sacrificing for you and the baby.
She assumes that you will do everything without her help.
Do some practice, for example, you should know what to do when your wife is taking a bath. Watch the baby just the way she does. Check the diapers if the baby cries or feed your baby with milk or do something to comfort him. Else, put the baby to nap if he still cries.
After all the tiring day, your wife surely needs some warm and relaxing bath for all the hustle she went through the whole day carrying the baby.
Even in the middle of the night if your wife falls asleep while putting the baby to bed, make sure to play your role to check the baby’s diaper and prepare his bottle for next feeding.
She will look for more reassurance.
Between physical changes, hormone fluctuations, and lack of sleep, new moms have enough to think about without having to worry complimenting you just because you feel neglected.
You just need to be there for her, telling her she looks great. Even though she probably hasn’t slept for days. Let her know that she’s doing an amazing job with the baby and that you love her no matter what.
This hard time will pass and a few months after the baby is born, she’ll start to have more time for you. Trust me, this way, she’ll appreciate you for being a patient, reassuring and kind husband.
She relies on you more.
At first, your wife will never believe that you know how to take care of the baby but when you put yourself to some of the things with the baby, she’ll start to trust more.
Is that mean a husband has to do more things for the baby? Yes, it could be. You might be taking care of the baby more than your wife does but this is not the time to be selfish.
Being a parent is no more about you. It all goes to the baby. So if there are dishes to clean, clothes to wash and thing to buy, hey Daddy put your apron on and start doing it.
Your wife will appreciate all your efforts and help you together with everything. Working together could bring you both time to spend together.
Your wife might go through postpartum depression.
This is something that most husbands didn’t know about because it is a tough topic. Postpartum depression can be very serious and will affect your relationship in ways you may not imagine.
But here’s the thing, it’s temporary in most cases. It can be extremely frustrating and challenging to cope with depression when you have a new baby. You will see the house is messy and there’s a laundry list of tasks that need to get done right now.
No matter how temporary the episode is, recovery will take longer than you want it to. Your job is to ride it out with her.
Don’t tell her things like, “You have to get over this,” or “This should be the happiest time of your life.” Just tell her that you love her and give her your support.
You aren’t her important person anymore.
As she is a new mother, her only aim for now, is to be the best in making sure the baby is safe and happy. The little champ is the most important and only important person for her now.
You might feel jealous or left out, which will make you feel terrible about yourself. It is normal and something that you shouldn’t crack your head for.
Otherwise, try to create a strong bonding time with your baby. Your closeness to the baby will make your wife feel warm and closer to both of you.
Once you’ve done that, there won’t be anything left to be jealous of, because your baby will become the center of your universe as well.
Dear husband, after your life is filled with a baby, you will never have the time to watch TV shows. Less time to meet friends or go on date with your darling. All your housework increases and your free time are fully occupied.
The best thing you can do is to tackle the responsibility together. Prepare for the changes you know will come and be open to learning along the way.
Another tip for all daddies, visit Motherhood.com.my to get all your little one’s needs as a surprise to your wife. Trust me, she will be more than happy!