Often, raising kids can be so challenging that it drives you crazy. You might end up screaming and even hitting (which you should not) them when it gets out of control.
Most parents can probably relate to this but is that way actually effective in teaching them the lesson or bettering the situation? In actuality, it might not and things could get worse.
So how should you deal with their bad behaviour then?
8 Tips To Handle Bad Behaviour In Kids, While Remaining Calm
What parents should truly understand in the first place is, every kid is born different. Each of them have different needs and carry distinctive traits.
So to handle them, you might need to use different approaches. The method you use on your first child might not work on the second one.
Let’s give these a try:
#1. Assess the situation well
Kids usually misbehave and throw tantrums for a reason. There must be something which triggered and caused them to act as such. And when that happens, it is your job to find out the reason.
Mum and dad need to analyse the situation well. Try to dig on what they are hiding from you or not being truthful about.
Sometimes, kids misbehaved not due to their faults but because of others’ actions. Take for example, they are bullying someone because they used to get bullied.
So when you find the cause, see to it. Acknowledge that and let them know that you do. Let them know you take it seriously and respect it.
No matter how trivial it seems to you, you should never take it lightly or worse, laugh at it.
#2. Give them a time-out
Time-out is known to be effective in teaching kids a lesson. It is natural that when they did wrong or currently emotional, they cannot control themselves.
So what should you do is, give them a time-out. Bring them out from the environment and situation they were in and ask them to stay somewhere alone for few minutes.
During this time, let them reflect on everything that just happened and think on the reason why you disagree or mad with them.
This method will help them to relax and settle their emotions. When they are quiet and calm, they can leave the time-out place.
#3. Slowly talk to them
When they are giving you attitude, that is when you must be patient enough to see through it. Instead of focusing on how they make you feel, you have to make them open up to you while remaining calm.
Usually, parents do know how to approach their kids so that they will talk to them. And when they misbehave, you should try the same method.
Later when they look approachable and ready to talk, initiate a conversation with them. Just talk about random stuff that interests them first and slowly, you can tap on the real issue.
Listen to them attentively and do not belittle it. Then after they are done explaining and opening up to you, tenderly talk through them about do’s and don’ts.
#4. Focus on what is wrong, not who is wrong
When you are trying to correct their behaviour, it is important that you should never point your fingers to them.
Instead of blaming them, you should let them see what is right and wrong. Make them understand why their action is unacceptable and how it should be.
If you keep focusing on their faults, that will pressure them emotionally and they might find it difficult to grow. But when you focus on the actions, they will be able to see the truth.
They will start to acknowledge that and try putting efforts in not doing so again. Always remember that it is the deed which is wrong and should not be the person.
After all, we are all changing and improving.
#5. Help them assess their feelings
Kids are still not able to analyse their feelings well. They seem to only recognise them as pleasant or unpleasant. It is different compared with adults. We are able to know what are we feeling and what should we do to; either to express it or silently conceal it.
So when these unpleasant feelings are bottling in, be it anger, sadness or frustration, they will explode. And usually, in unacceptable manners.
So before that happen, mums and dads should help the kids to assess their feelings. Help them to recognise what feeling it is and acknowledge it.
If they are angry, help them to acknowledge their anger and assure them that it is normal. This is because some kids do have tendency to think that there is something wrong with them whenever they are experiencing something unpleasant and that is why they refuse to express their feelings.
We do not want them to feel that way. Therefore, parents should encourage them to be expressive about their feelings. In turn, they can let it out and channel it in the right way.
#6. Praise to encourage
Sometimes, they just want your attention. They intentionally do the things which they know would enrage you.
But when that happens, we usually may not pause for a while to consider as much. Instead, we are angrier as we think they just want to anger us.
That may be true at some point but in actuality, they might just desire for your affection.
So when they misbehave, another method you can try is by praising them for their efforts and the good things they do.
For example, when you notice that they like to bully their sister, tell them that you love them for taking care of her well. The technique is, to praise their action but not themselves. Whenever they do the right thing, tell them that you really appreciate their efforts.
Later, they will get motivated to do it again and indirectly, stop doing those bad behaviours.
#7. Do not scream at or hit them
Whatever happens, you must always find other ways to teach your kids besides screaming at and hitting them.
These methods, screaming at and hitting kids, will leave negative impacts on them. In fact, it could have the adverse effect of what you intended.
Did you ever think about why did kids still do it after being screamed at or hit? That would mean one thing: Such method is ineffective.
But yes, it is easier said than done. We do get emotional and lose control sometimes. So to prevent from doing such to them, the first step would be to manage your emotions well.
Always settle yourself down first and only then proceed on with other methods.
#8. Help them to change
Actually, some kids do realise that their doings are wrong but they do not know the right way to correct it.
Take for example, kids who get scolded frequently might become sad and start to keep things to themselves. Later on the future, they might become pessimistic.
So instead of learning how to correct their mistake, they keep things from other’s knowledge and do not grow.
Therefore, whenever you correct them, show them the proper way to make it right. As they stumble in life, it is a parent’s job to assist them to get back up and walk properly.
If they took a doll which belongs to someone else, you should not snatch it away from them but explain to them why that is wrong and they should give it back to the owner and apologise. If you do it for them, they will not learn and probably just do it again later.
These tips may be tough but still doable. Give them a try whenever your kids misbehave. They might work right away for some but also, might take some time for others. Nevertheless, you will do just great!
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