To work or not to work? That might be a question that will put a mother with a career in a big dilemma.
Being a mother is one of the greatest gifts a woman could ever ask for. However, as much as a mother wants to see her child grow, life brought her differently, which is to be at the desk instead of the baby cot.
It is not easy to leave your baby for work. As an experience mother, it is super hard!
There is a special bonding that usually created between a mother and her child during the confinement. And once it is over, the fact that they need to break it even just a few hours a day put many mothers into a dilemma.
Dealing with Guilt Feeling
Being a mother has already brought many to her plate and with her career added, it can’t be any harder. The dilemma as a mother with a career is unbearable.
To be at work most of the day means a shorter time to spend with her child. By the time they are home, it is only a few hours away before bedtime.
It is impossible for a working mother to chase away the guilt feeling. It is always there whenever she looks at her child.
She wishes that she could spend more time with her child and create a stronger bond. To be able to play together a little bit longer, sing a song together and more time for storytelling. She’s dreading for that!
There might be a time when the day is not for her or when the traffic is so bad and she comes home with a grey cloud and it affects every household.
Deep inside, she wishes there won’t be any day like this, but she is a human being after all.
To be able to spend time together during the weekend is a luxury for a working mother. It is a time where they could pick up where they left.
Many memories to be cherished are created over the weekend. It is when she learns more about her child and rejuvenates herself for the upcoming week.
Missing Important Milestone
It is devastating for a mother to miss the chance to be the first witness of her child’s first.
As a mother, she always wants to be there during the first crawl, hears the first word or see the first step. She missed the joy and excitement to see all the important milestones and to make it worse; she has to hear it from the other person first while she could only see it much later!
It is the jealousy that is upsetting. She wants to switch the places badly so she could watch her child grow but that would mean she has to let go the other chance to make the family better.
Balancing Work-life
Balancing between work and life is another unsettled dilemma for a mother with a career. With a busy schedule, she tends to beat herself up.
Cramped at the office during the day, the work continues as a mother and wife once she reaches home.
Whenever she has a chance, as she realised that her child won’t stop growing, she would rather spend all of her free time with her family instead of herself.
At the end of the day, it is almost impossible for her to have her alone time where she could refresh herself as a person.
Treating the Sick Child
Children are easier to catch diseases as they have weak immunity compared to adults. Not to forget, vaccines are not yet fully functioning to totally protect under two years old infants from viruses. Hence, it is easy for children to fall sick especially when they are at the daycare.
When a child falls sick, it won’t be much problem for a stay at home mother. However, it is a different story for a career mother.
A career woman is blessed if she has an understanding employer, where if her child falls sick, she can attend to her immediately. However, not every grass has the same green.
As an employee, she does not have much of a choice if she is banned from taking a day off to care for her children. When a child falls sick, the mother is the first to worry. Hence when she has to leave her sick child to go to work, the worry is killing her inside.
Mummies, Let’s Face the Dilemma Like a Supermum!
Even though it is not easy to let go of the dilemma, here’s how you can handle it like a supermum you always are!
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Focus on yourself
Don’t stress out. Try to relax and take it easy. Remember, there is no perfect mother in this world and your children would always love the imperfect you because you are their mother.
It is not a sin to put yourself first sometimes. When you have tried your best for yourself and your family, know that you have done enough. Always remember; a happy mother would grow a happy child.
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Choose the best daycare
Sending your child to the best daycare would also help lessen your dilemma as a career mother. At least you know your child is in the best hand when you are not around.
You may get a recommendation from your peers or search thoroughly before you choose. It is important to ensure your child is in a safe hand when you are away.
Try to find a daycare with the least number of students per teacher and could handle various pre-school activities to enhance your child’s skills. Least number of student means the least chances for any virus break out.
Ensure the school is strict in accepting sick student every morning and most importantly, only send your child to certified daycare to ensure they are following all the guidelines from the government.
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Use the most of it
A working mother usually has only a few hours to spend with her child before bedtime. Within this short time, what you can do is to utilise it as much as you can.
Choose the fastest way to be home every day. Put away your gadget and focus on your children. If you are in need to finish your work, you may consider waiting until your child dozes off before switching on the laptop.
If you may, you could postpone the bedtime a little further for you to have more time with your child. But remember not to make it too late as sleeping early has a lot of benefit on children’s development.
As a normal human being, we can’t always have it our way, but we can always make way for it!
A child will keep on growing and it is sad to waste it by worrying if you are not good enough for your children. You are not less of a mother for having a career. For all you know, your children might be so proud of who you are!
So, while you are still at it, enjoy every moment. Create the memories to be cherished later.