For a good while now, we’ve heard people describe themselves as either introvert, extroverts, or ambiverts. As the matter of fact, it’s no surprise if a dear reader like yourself identifies with either one of those.
So, if someone describes your child as introverted, extroverted or an ambivert, what does it actually mean? How do we differentiate between these three?
Introverts are those who prefer to be in quiet environments or smaller groups. They feel more comfortable chatting with a certain few people and find comfort in quiet moments.
Extroverts are the exact opposite of introverts; they would be the ones initiating conversations and are outgoing. They enjoy being around people and may feel energised by their company.
Ambiverts have qualities of both introverts and extroverts, depending on the situation and environment they are in. While they may thrive in highly social events like extroverts, they might have a shorter tolerance.
Embracing Children’s Unique Personalities
In adulthood, we recognise how different people have fairly different ‘socialising quotas‘ in comparison to their counterparts.
We learn that these make up the different personality traits among people and there are plenty of career opportunities that can very well cater to our personalities. Ultimately, they help us grow into the person we want to be.
This is why it matters to recognise which end of the introvert-extrovert spectrum your child lands in. Keep in mind these are more than just labels.
In this spectrum, your child might fall in between either of these ‘labels’ hence why it’s important for parents to know how to cater to their children’s introvert-extrovert tendencies.
Not only can you help grow the best out of their unique personalities, but it helps plant precious seedlings of self-confidence and ambition.
There is no right way to parent a child but here are a few important things to remember when raising introverts, extroverts, and ambiverts.
What to Keep in Mind with Introverted Children
Encourage ‘Me-Time’
Introverted children are much like introverted adults.
They enjoy doing activities most when they are on their own and find solitude in solitary play. You might be understandably worried about their social life, which then begs the question;
How often should you allow your introverted child to indulge in their solitude?
For one thing, you shouldn’t discourage a child’s introversion and neither should you worry too much about it. They’re just biologically wired to be that way, after all—just like extroverts and ambiverts.
What you can do is help them regulate introverted tendencies that stop them from being comfortable around others. Take advantage of their introspective nature and create a safe space for them to feel empowered by their unique point of views.
Push Only When You Should
Being overly shy and non-conversational will not make good crutches in adulthood and parents should nip it in the bud when they can.
This doesn’t mean you should expect them to launch into active conversation as immediately possible. That’s actually a lot to ask from a child who is naturally at ease in quieter environments. A vibrant, lively event is often far from that!
To avoid anti-social tendencies, you can teach them to be selectively social instead. Help them identify what kind of people they enjoy being around alongside topics they can chat about.
Your presence will also provide them with a sense of security in case they feel overwhelmed. So don’t be so quick to abandon them in a sea of distant cousins and aunties!
Explore Alternative Outlets for Self-Expression
Sometimes, your introverted child could use a boost to improve their self-expression. Self-expression encompasses not just what they talk about, but also their choices and course of, action.
They might come across as clammy or quiet if uncomfortable. Or they can be overstimulated in crowded spaces and loud environments.
Sometimes, all they need is reassurance, patience and validation to work through their nerves. As parents, you can help by providing them with a means to express themselves and regulate their emotions. Some of these include:
- journaling or creative writing.
- painting, colouring and crafting.
- puzzle-solving.
- gardening.
- music lessons for an instrument of their choice.
- opportunities to join group sports or activities of their interest.
What to Keep in Mind with Extroverted Children
If you have a child who would say “Hello!” to random people at the grocery store or is a total charmer to friends and families, you may have yourself an extrovert!
These children can easily exhaust others should their exuberance crosses the excessive line. It can be difficult for both young children and teens to navigate through their own bustling minds in order to simmer down when needed. However, it’s definitely not impossible.
Here’s how parents can help extroverted children.
Redirect Instead of Rejecting Them
Their need for attention might be demanding—they might be brimming with ideas and topics to talk about. They might also come across as exuberant and filled with energy, so it’s up to the parents to aid in channelling this out more naturally.
It’s vital that we practise active listening to teach them how to converse and interact more naturally with others. Instead of chiding them for talking too much, focus on showing them how to practice active listening while holding conversations.
To avoid them feeling rejected or burdensome, show interest before redirecting them to other tasks, activities or topics of conversation.
Explore Outlets for Self-Expression
After an isolating period indoors during the pandemic, it could’ve easily taken a toll on your extroverted children.
To help them ease back into their usual chatty, curious selves, there are plenty of outlets you can help them explore as parents.
Extroverts are generally more outgoing and outspoken, so they ought to enjoy activities done in groups. However, it’s important that you also teach them to enjoy their own company like you would with introverts. This may lessen their need for a constant company at all times and promotes self-contentment.
Whether is solitary play activities, art, music or sports lessons, or some time at the playground, do your best to listen and accommodate what they have to say or need.
What to Keep in Mind with Ambiverted Children
Now that you’ve read about introverts and extroverts, it is time for us to devour the characteristics of an ambivert!
Ambiverts are known to exhibit both introversion and extroversion. They can flip between these two traits in accordance with their social contexts, goals and mood.
Here are some key facts about them:
- They adapt easily to their company. In a way, they mimic or tend to reflect the energy of those around them fairly naturally.
- Because ambiverts have the qualities of both introverts and extroverts, they are good at neutralising social situations. They have a heightened sense of awareness towards those around them and may serve as a mediator between opposing voices.
- They are good at regulating their behaviour and emotions.
These are fairly ideal descriptions of a personality and may spell out a rather balanced individual.
It’s only normal for a child, even an adult, to feel wary after spending a prolonged period with others.
So, if they suddenly choose to have a day inside instead of outdoors, trust in their decision and allow them to recharge as they wish. They will be up and running in no time!
To Each Their Own
There is a Shakespearan quote that reads:
To each, their own, thine self be true!
In the end, everyone has their way of manoeuvring about this massive weave we call society. Always remind your children that the world is a vast place, with plenty of space for the millions of different people out there.
The ultimate challenge in life is to stay true to ourselves whilst growing up. Every individual is set apart by their own unique set of interests and whether or not your child is an introvert or extrovert, they are special in their own way.
Alas, it lies in the hands of parents to help cultivate the uniqueness within them—with patience, attentiveness and practical solutions!
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