Jealousy is a negative and complex emotion that can cause unhappiness in children if left unchecked. Parents may not notice jealousy in their children as it may not appear clearly like other emotions. It is important to address jealousy as soon as possible as this emotion has many adverse effects on young children.
Young children wouldn’t be equipped with the emotional skills and maturity to deal with jealousy. Parents need to use strategies to help their children to solve and cope with this negative emotion. Let’s explore what causes jealousy and how parents can help their children through it.
What Causes Jealousy in Children
Jealousy isn’t a pleasant emotion but it is necessary for a child’s emotional development to a certain degree. This is why parents should equip themselves with ways to deal with this emotion before it gets out of hand.
Here are a few common reasons that can cause a child to be jealous.
Overprotective
Overly restrictive parents will cause the child to be shielded from the world. When the child has to interact with friends or acquaintances they may grow jealous or resentful of their lack of freedom and experience.
Birth Order
Sibling jealousy may occur when older children think their younger siblings are getting more attention from their parents. This is a common occurrence if a newborn arrives in a family where there is an older sibling.
Comparisons
Unhealthy comparisons made by parents or family members can easily make a child jealous. Comparing a child’s achievements or skills can cause unhealthy competition. Plus, children might also learn to compare when being exposed to social media.
Overcontrolling
Too many rules and regulations with rigid parenting and no explanation to the child will cause a lack of self-esteem. A shy and reserved child will easily be jealous of another child with better social skills and a happier home life.
Pampering
Spoiling your children with excessive praise and gifts can cause the child to feel insecure easily. A child that is used to praise every time they do something will find it difficult to cope when praise isn’t given. If the child meets a confident friend who doesn’t require praise to feel secure, they can feel jealous due to their inferior complex.
9 Ideas for Parents to Help Children Overcome Jealousy
Overcoming jealousy in children can be complicated at times because parents will be dealing with sensitive emotions. Parents need to be honest with themselves first before helping their children. As adults, we deal with jealousy and envy too.
Parents should deal with their jealousy issues first as you can’t effectively help your child if you are struggling with the same emotion. We have compiled 9 ideas to help you in your parenting journey of dealing with jealousy in children.
Love and Support
Children get love and support from parents in many forms and in this stage of dealing with jealousy, it’s needed more than ever.
Show your child that you love and support them unconditionally and that they are valued. When a child feels secure and loved, their confidence grows.
A child that feels secure in their place will be able to manage negative emotions better.
Love and affection can go a long way to solving many problems with children.
Sharing
Children dislike sharing and sometimes something as simple can cause jealousy. Educating a child about the values of sharing and showing care is a good way to help them to feel empathetic. When a child can share something with another child, it can help them to grow socially and reduce their insecurity.
Turn Negatives Into Positives
When your child feels envious, try to shift their focus to the positive aspects of their emotion. Getting to the cause of envy can help to motivate the child to do better or achieve a goal.
Examples
Teaching a child to be confident and happy with themselves starts with the parents. Parents can use examples to focus on the benefits of having positive emotions.
For example, being secure about yourself allows you to see the strengths of other people. Let your child observe you complimenting and appreciating other people’s good qualities.
Refrain From Comparing
Unhealthy competition can scar a child for life. Avoid comparing a child to another, good grades don’t matter if the child’s mental health and happiness are compromised. Instead, focus on supporting the child in ways they need so they can healthily work towards their potential.
Encourage Strengths
Children require support and encouragement from parents when it comes to their strengths. Parents should recognise the child’s strengths and talk about how it’s good for the child. Children will be able to develop their confidence when parents provide their approval and support when they do something right.
Books
Stories for children are usually packed with morals and examples. Reading constantly to your children can help them to think about morals and intentions.
You don’t have to emphasise the moral of the story, instead have an open discussion about what the child thinks about the story.
Motivate Good Behaviour
Teach your children to be supportive at a young age. When a child learns how to empathise, love and care without prejudice, jealousy can be avoided.
A loving and caring child will think about others and will be able to act unselfishly.
Listen
At times, the solution is as simple as just listening to your child.
If a child’s emotions are significant and have a strong foundation, it could be helpful to provide them with a safe and supportive environment to express and discuss their feelings.
Listen to your child and give them no repercussions during this talk.
Try to be supportive and don’t rush to solve the issue at first. Listening actively and empathising with your child can help them feel loved and supported.
Super Kids Club
Motherhood’s Super Kids Club is a fun-filled membership program created for children.
The Super Kids Club’s experienced educators lead weekly STEAM-based workshops. Members will also enjoy full access to educational video content and fun downloadable printable activity sheets.
Parents can sign up for Super Kids Club for free and cancel anytime.
New members can redeem a 1-Day Kids Go Free Legoland voucher and a free Super Kids activity box. Super Kids Club members can also enjoy annual field trips and monthly deals from sponsors.
Peaceful Homes, Happy Children
Parents who can successfully tackle jealousy in their children will improve their family dynamics. Happy children who feel secure will grow and develop into well-balanced individuals. Children who can manage their emotions and solve challenges healthily will naturally grow independent and confident.
Jealousy is an ugly emotion and parents eradicate it from their homes if they see signs of it. Successfully dealing with jealousy in children will result in a happier home and better lives for both the parents and children.
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