The journey to conceiving is not always easy, and sometimes it’s a tough mountain to climb. So, how do we take care of our mental health when planning for pregnancy?
Today, we have Dr Natasha, a Fertility Specialist who has gone through her own challenges in her journey to conceive.
Q1. How does planning a pregnancy affect our mental health?
Dr. Natasha: Planning a pregnancy can be stressful and not everybody gets pregnant on the first try. Some couples will take about 3 to 6 months, but some would take longer, even years. With each negative test, the stress gets higher. And the more stressed you are, the harder it is to get pregnant. It’s a vicious cycle of not being able to get pregnant and getting stressed about it. So, it really, really can be quite difficult for couples trying to conceive, when they get into this emotional rollercoaster and this can also lead to anxiety, guilt and depression, if left untreated.
Q2. What can we do to look after our mental health when trying to conceive?
Dr. Natasha: One of the main things is to actually take care of yourself. A lot of people forget that. By having a healthy body, you would actually be able to produce better eggs and also be able to have a better approach in facing all these difficulties; these struggles. You will be able to cope better. But if you have poor physical health, it will affect your mental health. So, when we feel good about ourselves, we are able to cope better.
Another important thing is to remember that you are not in this alone. Have your support system where you can be honest with your feelings, and be able to talk to someone that you can trust. Especially in the disappointments when you do get a negative test.
So, the journey to having a baby does not have to be a lonely one. Get in touch with your friends, especially fellow TTC friends, who will help you and support you along the way, shouldering the burden.
Q3. Why is it important to look after our mental well-being?
Dr. Natasha: Being in high levels of stress can actually lead to lowering your chances of getting pregnant. Even if we do treatments like IVF, stress can also affect the chances of success. So, I’ll make sure that the patients, if they are undergoing the IVF treatment, I will tell them to make sure to reduce their workload for that month. Make it flexible or preferably as much as possible, negotiate to have time off or reduced hours and less work so it will be less stressful.
You need to schedule ‘me time’. While it’s still possible to conceive during high levels of stress, having chronic stress while being pregnant can cause several issues. For example, preterm labour and also affects the baby’s development in the womb. It can also have a long-term effect in baby’s temperament and the behavioural development as studies have shown that mothers who have experienced high levels of stress, especially in the first trimester, have babies who show signs of more depression and irritability.
Q4. Are there any warning signs that the TTC couple might be having problems with their mental health?
Dr. Natasha: Yup. Some of the signs of mental health issues during the fertility journey that we should look out for are symptoms such as persistent feelings of sadness most of the day. Or maybe more than 2 weeks or longer. Or perhaps sometimes loss of interest or pleasure in activities that the person enjoys. Such as if they enjoy doing a certain activity like a movie and they no longer have the interest. These are some symptoms that we need to look out for. Other symptoms can include fatigue, a lack of energy, feeling restlessness or slowing down.
They might feel a bit of guilt as well as worthlessness when they are unable to conceive. So, a lot of women share this experience, share these emotions. That whenever they are unable to conceive, they have feelings of guilt, because they are unable to give a child to their partner. So, they feel difficulty in concentrating, trouble sleeping and perhaps worse is we need to be aware if they are having recurring thoughts of death or suicide. This is very serious, and if you are part of the fertility journey or you have some loved ones on this journey, be aware of some of these possible symptoms and red flags to get some help.
Q5. Where can we go for help if we’re struggling with mental health issues while trying to conceive?
Dr. Natasha: In my clinic, we are aware of all these mental stresses. So, part of my job is to basically help patients go through these emotions. I will be able to, you know, advise them what they need to do, simple steps.
If I find them struggling with mental health, I may be able to recommend them to perhaps consult a psychologist. Because people get terrified if they see a psychiatrist. So, I refer to a therapist or psychologist to see whether there are any simple steps or behavioural changes that we can help them with.
Now for those who have a bit more serious concerns like depression and suicidal intents, then involving a psychiatrist would help. In our Asian culture, we are not usually those who talk to psychiatrists or psychologists. But I think that now we are more aware of these mental health issues and more acceptable in our community to go and seek help whether with a psychologist or a psychiatrist.
It is important to seek help. So, speak to your doctor, whether an OB-GYN specialist, or a family doctor.
Q6. Any tips on how to handle the disappointment of not being pregnant?
Dr. Natasha: First, we need to be aware that, that feeling of disappointment, it’s okay; it’s a normal feeling that you need to acknowledge. But what you do next after that disappointment is very important. You need to be able to take the next step forward.
It is important not to blame yourself or any other people. It’s natural when going through this negative result from your fertility treatment, you go through a cycle and some people actually go through it faster. You will have anger, blame and then later on you will have acceptance. Once you have actually accepted, then you are ready to move on. Some people may take weeks, days, and some take longer, perhaps years. You know, sometimes with negative results, they can take years to bounce back and move forward.
If the disappointment is too much for you to bear then one important thing is to perhaps take a break. You need to acknowledge the feelings; you need to be able to grieve. And then when you’re ready, you will take the next step. It’s my job also as part of the fertility team to give you that support and give you the advice that, yes, we are ready, let’s move on to the next step. Because the majority of the couples with the right fertility treatment, they will be successful in conceiving.
For loved ones who are undergoing the fertility journey, as a sign of support, you should be looking out for them, giving them the support that they need and you know, perhaps advising them, ‘I think you are probably undergoing a lot of mental stress’. With mental health concerns, we need to tackle and address that first, so that they will be able to cope better.
Transforming the Way Women Manage Their Reproductive Health
Today’s episode of AskMeDoctor! is sponsored by Clearblue. At Clearblue, we put women at the heart of everything we do to empower and transform the way women manage their reproductive health. Get accurate, quick and clear answers with our kits in your TTC journey.
We hope you’ve enjoyed and learned from today’s programme. Stay tuned for our next episode of AskMeDoctor! for more health tips for the family.
Disclaimer: The information provided in this article is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as medical advice from Motherhood. For any health-related concerns, it is advisable to consult with a qualified healthcare professional or medical practitioner.
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