Mother, Baby & Kids

Mummy Shares: Here’s Why Maternity Leave Is Not Actually a Vacation

I am on maternity leave note

Image credit: Canva

The length of maternity leave in Malaysia has been a source of contention since the 2020 Budget increased the maternity leave period for employees in the private sector to 90 consecutive days beginning 1 January 2021. And just as everyone was starting to get used to this new length, the debate re-ignited last month—the government passed an employment bill that extends maternity leave from 60 to 98 days (14 weeks), in line with International Labour Organization (ILO).

While some may agree and disagree with the decision, I believe that maternity leave is about more than just the length. During that period, the mum who has just given birth may be dealing with a variety of issues, and putting a number to it isn’t going to help. No one, not even the mum, knows how many days of leave are needed until she is in that maternity mode.

Yes, I’m not going to deny that maternity leave does help working mothers recover and care for their newborn babies. However, people must understand that maternity leave is not the same as any other type of work leave. Or as some refer to it, a vacation. Having gone through maternity leave three times, I can tell you that it isn’t all pretty and relaxing.

I’ve had different experiences with each one, especially when I was already self-employed for the third. Whatever the case may be, the first thing I always worried about after giving birth is the healing process. How long will the pain last? When will the stitches fully heal? Will I ever be able to run again? Oh, my goodness, the agony is surreal!

Recovering from Childbirth During Maternity Leave

Image credit: Canva

I honestly think many parents would agree with me that giving birth can be a gruesome experience! I count myself lucky that the delivery of my first child was not unbearably unpleasant. Even the labour process was shorter than most people would expect for a first-timer. I went into labour about 11 p.m., pushed into the delivery room around 1 a.m., and gave birth to a lovely daughter at 3:30 a.m!

At the time, I was working full-time and on maternity leave for 60 days. I didn’t give the leaves much thought as I was already up and active after a week or so. The length seemed appropriate to me. Though I did feel rushed towards the end because after the 40-day confinement period, I only had about 20 days to prepare myself for returning to work and finding a suitable place to leave my 2-month-old baby!


Is there such a thing as a ‘right’ amount of maternity leave? (Image credit: Canva)

I’m just glad I recovered quickly the first time, and my daughter was also a healthy, no-fuss baby, so I have no problem leaving her at a nursery. Of course, I cried the first time I left her before going to work, and I’m sure many first-time mums would as well! I even had the caregiver send me photos and videos of my daughter just to see how she was doing.

Though my first delivery went smoothly, I wish I could say the same for my second and third. To be honest, they were simply horrifying. Without going into too many details about who was to blame and whatnot, let’s just say it took nearly the entire confinement period (40 days!) for me to recover.

Worse, my second baby had prolonged jaundice, so I had to go check his blood almost every day, which meant I wasn’t getting enough rest. I was also working full-time at the time and received only 60 days of maternity leave. Let me tell you, 60 days is far too short! I felt like I needed 100 days just to gather my thoughts before going back to work.

Whereas for my third child, even though I was already self-employed, having to go through a long recovery process was also a struggle because at the time, I wasn’t worried about a short maternity leave, but rather a long one. Why? It’s primarily for financial reasons, which I’ll go over later in this piece.

But, seriously, no matter how many days of leave I had after each birth, I just wish I could have that extra time to catch myself a “me time” break. Just so I can mentally prepare to go into work mode rather than bracing myself because I have no other choice.

Needing a Break from ‘Home and Work’ Reality

It’s important for mums on maternity leave to attain some “me time”. (Image credit: Canva)

Maternity leave entails more than just caring for the newborn, and I’d like to emphasise the importance of mothers taking time away from their children to care for themselves. It’s also a good time for mums to check in on their mental health because the pregnant body has been through a lot in the last year. Not to mention worrying about breastmilk, physical appearance, and losing body weight, to name a few.

I and two other friends, with whom I discussed maternity leave, are all on the same page about this. I concurred with both of my friends who said they prefer a 90-day maternity leave because it gives them enough time to prepare for returning to work and gives them the confidence to send their 3-month-old baby to a nursery or nannies instead of a 2-month-old.

They also mentioned how isolated and stressful it can be when they were left alone with the kids after their spouses had gone back to work and no one is at home with them. I never felt very lonely because I was never left by myself for long periods, but I do get stressed when I have to handle the baby while also caring for my other toddlers or when I have to do freelance work.

Taking care of a newborn can be stressful, so make time to unwind. (Image credit: Canva)

That is why I genuinely think that mums on maternity leave require a break from home and work to clear their minds and get their feelings in order. When I was stressed, I couldn’t think clearly and became easily irritated and short-tempered. That’s exactly what happens when we mothers don’t get enough sleep, isn’t it?

At the very least, with 90 days’ leave, both of my friends said they had an extra 2-3 weeks to try to send their newborns to a nursery or a nanny, giving them some time alone to themselves. During that time, they’ll get enough rest and be mentally prepared to resume working life. Unfortunately, since I began working as a freelancer, I’ve realised that taking a long maternity leave is not something I can afford.

I’m not sure if the majority of self-employed mums would experience the same difficulties that I did. After having my third child, I attempted to take at least a two-month break, but after only a month, I was compelled to continue looking for freelance work. Simply put, being self-employed means no income when no work is done, even during maternity leaves.

When Earnings During Maternity Leave Become a Factor

Even with a newborn, self-employed individuals must work in order to earn a living. (Image credit: Canva)

When I was a full-time employee, my biggest concern when it was time to return to the office was the feeling of missing out on what was going on at work while I was gone and whether I’d be able to catch up on left work. It’s great to know that mums can return to work at any time during their maternity leave. At the very least, they can return to work earlier should they feel the need for a shorter maternity leave.

What I miss most about having maternity leave while working is being paid in full while on leave. That is something I am extremely grateful for, and I had to make a sacrifice to obtain this flexible working schedule as a freelance writer.

For the time being, there is much more for me to consider before having a new baby. If I want to take a longer maternity leave, my spouse and I will need to save enough money to last for that 2-3 month “off-work”. Nonetheless, even when I was getting 60 days or less of maternity leave as a freelancer, I realised that the most important part of being on maternity leave is having the best support from family and close friends.

Having a Good Support System Is Key

Support that is meaningful and sufficient will go a long way. (Image credit: Canva)

At the end of the day, it all comes down to this. Recognising what my friends and I have gone through after giving birth, I can simply say that, while longer maternity leave can be beneficial, mothers who have given birth still require adequate support (not only physically, but also emotionally) to get through the maternity leave.

I even had the chance to ask my beloved mother about what it was like for her when she gave birth to me and my brother while studying abroad. She also emphasised the importance of having the right, ongoing support during maternity leave. Although she only applied for a short 2-week leave so she wouldn’t miss her studies, it all worked out thanks to a family friend who helped and cared for me and my brother when we were babies.

Thus, whether the maternity leave is short or long, all that matters is that mothers who have recently given birth receive proper rest and support.


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