Mother, Baby & Kids

Parenting Guidance: How To Support Your Children During Puberty

We have all been through puberty before and we need to admit that it is not an easy ride for us and our parents. Puberty is a phase of transition for your children that involves physical and hormonal change. 

Everyone has a different puberty journey and your children could go through puberty at different ages. For girls, they will go through puberty around the age of 8 to 14 meanwhile for boys, they will go through it around the age of 11 to 16. 

Do you know that many parents don’t know how to react when their children are experiencing puberty? Yes, that is true and common! Well, it is not easy for parents to see their own children transitioning physically and emotionally.

When I was going through puberty, it was definitely the hardest time. I went through an emotional roller-coaster ride and my personality changed towards people around me.

Most importantly, it was also hard for me to accept my new physical body look. Luckily, I had my parents that were able to guide me through it. So, it is crucial for children who are going through puberty wanting your full support and assistance. 

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Photo Credit: iStock

What To Expect?

Let me guide you through this together. Here are some physical and emotional aspects that you should know as a parent that has children that are going through puberty. 

Physical Changes

  • Hormonal acne (oily skin)
  • Oily hair
  • Developing body odour
  • Increase in height
  • Breast development
  • Growth of underarm, legs and pubic hair
  • Menstruation
  • Vaginal discharge
  • Growth of penis or testes
  • Testosterone production
  • The start of erections and ejaculation
  • The voice ‘breaks’ and eventually deepens

Emotional Changes

  • Mood swings
  • Wanting to become independent
  • Become more sensitive and vulnerable
  • Demand for personal space
  • Developing sexual interests
Photo Credit: Kids Health
Photo Credit: Kids Health

Ways To Support Your Children:

Provide Reassurance

This is one of the most important ways to support your children. When I was going through puberty, I wanted a lot of reassurance of my self-being. It is going to be hard for those who are going through puberty alone. I had a lot of questions regarding my physical and emotional changes.

So, as a parent, you should reassure your children of what is normal and what is not. Sometimes puberty can get overwhelming to some children, so your reassurance would help them tremendously! 

Don’t make fun of them!

Some parents joke around about physical and emotional changes that their children are going through. Listen, that is not healthy in a family relationship! If you are currently doing that, I would recommend for you to stop.

They would feel humiliated and embarrassed while going through a confusing phase of their life. As a parent, you should comfort and let them know that it’s part of growing up. 

Give privacy and space

Many parents want to keep their children as their baby forever. However, that’s not the case. You must know that they will grow independently and by giving them privacy is the right thing to do.

Many children who are going through puberty will explore their sexuality and you should allow them to have the space that they demand. Just let them know that they got your support! 

Teach them on sex education

This is one of the things that I learnt during my puberty. In Malaysia, sex education is seen as a taboo. But, this is very important so that your children know about sexual health, care, human development, personal skills and others!

Parents should be able to open up with their children about sexual education so that they would have at least a general knowledge regarding it.

Unfortunately, many parents in Malaysia don’t teach their children sex education. So, most of them will learn it by themselves from YouTube videos and their friends.

Remember to always let your children know that puberty is a process of development and it is completely normal! Please support and guide them through this confusing yet exciting phase. 

If your children are having an early or late puberty, I would suggest you to read this article or see a doctor if needed. Also, watch this video on how to talk to your children about puberty!