Sibling rivalry is a natural occurrence in family dynamics. Kids will vie for their parent’s validation and attention like gladiators, even if it means throwing their siblings under the bus. However, sibling rivalry does eventually go away. But there are ways to remedy the conflict, so that you can keep your home peaceful and harmonious. Read on to find out how.
7 Ways to Stop Sibling Rivalry
Don’t Pick Favourites
Most parents wouldn’t admit to this, but they likely do have a favourite child. Although I think it goes without saying that if you’re a parent, it’s probably best to not admit this to their faces. However, actions speak louder than words. Parents show favouritism to their children, whether they consciously mean to or not. If you find yourself treating one sibling a little differently than the other, chances are one of them will notice. Children are sensitive to these things. So don’t make it too obvious that you prefer one sibling over the other. Give them both equal love and attention.
Treat Them Equally
This can be quite a steep learning curve, especially if you have one child who is naturally more gifted than the other. It’s important to acknowledge individual strengths and talents, even unconventional ones. The same goes for discipline. All your children should get the same treatment when you administer punitive measures. Absolving one sibling for a crime the other has been punished for is a perfect storm for sibling rivalry.
Strike a Balance
One flawed tactic parents use to stop rivalry is to downplay the achievements of one sibling as to not upset the other. All triumphs and milestones should be celebrated, but in a way that doesn’t make the other sibling feel left out. However, if you love your kids equally in the first place, they won’t compete for your attention. It’s usually kids who did not get much parental love that ends up being insecure and jealous of their other siblings, even for the pettiest of reasons.
Drop the Labels
Some parents may have a tendency to label their kids: ‘the pretty one’, ‘the smart one’, ‘the athletic one’, etc. You would think that highlighting your kids’ best traits will boost their self-esteem, but it probably won’t. Labelling kids will put unnecessary pressure on them to maintain the image you’ve set for them. Moreover, other siblings may try to compete with each other for those labels if they see that their parents value certain labels over others. Sometimes even ‘the smart one’ wants to be called ‘pretty’ too once in a while.
Encourage Teamwork
When you have game night, competitions or even chores, ask your children to pair up. This will encourage them to work together instead of against each other. They will even eventually develop their own shorthand and secret language. Your kids may even start helping each other cover their tracks when some mischief is afoot. Parents think that having your kids conspire behind your back is bad. But if they’re protecting each other, it means that the sibling rivalry is slowly going away.
Ending the Family Feud
Siblings will always have each other’s backs, even though it may seem like they can’t stand each other. However, shades of sibling rivalry may persist into adulthood, especially if parents don’t do anything to prevent it. As a final note, this article focuses more on preventative measures. If you want to stop siblings from fighting, read up on how here.
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