Society has come a long way in realising and acknowledging women’s contributions and efforts made for the betterment of themselves, their families, communities, institutions, industries, and the nation as a whole.
In honour of International Women’s Day this year, Motherhood chats with six influential Malaysian women to recognise the tremendous effort that all mothers put in to manage their daily lives.
Let’s see what they have to say about balancing a career and motherhood, the struggles they’ve faced, the lessons they’ve learned since becoming mothers, and how they handle their demanding schedules.
1. Mrs. Sheznie Merican
Mrs. Sheznie is the current Chief Marketing Officer (CMO) of Positano Risto, a top-rated halal Italian restaurant in Kuala Lumpur. She is also a recipient of the Women’s Icons Malaysia 2019 and Celebrating Inspirational Women 2019 Awards.
In what ways do you feel you empower your daughters as a working mum?
I empower my daughters through my own life goals. I always tell them they can achieve anything they set their minds on, and that they can pursue any career they want.
In my life, I have been a baker, a strategic brand consultant, a retailer, a teacher and also a mentor. As women, I believe we simply need to showcase our strengths, ability to adapt, and skills where we will shine.
As a working mum, I’ve had my ups and downs in my career overcoming health hurdles where I survived two miraculous mini-strokes after my open-heart surgery. I mostly have to sacrifice time at home for time at the office, but still breaking barriers to be in a top leader position, such as a CEO or CMO of a company
I truly hope that my experience will serve as an inspiration to my daughters to reach for the sky no matter the challenges. My advice to my children is to not let anyone tell them that something is impossible to achieve. They can create their own destinies and the future in any way they imagine it to be.
Mrs. Sheznie’s International Women’s Day Message
Every woman is capable of being a leader in any field she desires; simply believe that you can and it will become a reality.
2. Associate Professor Dr. Ku Suhaila Ku Johari
Dr. Ku Suhaila is a lecturer at the Faculty of Education at Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia (UKM), one of Malaysia’s top public universities. Her expertise lies in child and family counselling using Play Therapy and Sandtray Therapy approaches.
What difficult life events have had an impact on you and how have you persevered in the face of adversity?
In December 2012, I gave birth to my third child, Aqil, in the United States while my husband and I were in our final year of doctoral studies. Unexpectedly, on the 14th day, Aqil began to develop a cold due to an infection from his siblings. The weather in Laramie, Wyoming, a rocky mountain state, is extremely cold—especially during the winter.
On the 21st day, Aqil’s breathing abruptly stopped and his body turned blue. Within a short period, Aqil was rushed to a children’s hospital and received neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) treatment for pneumonia. Since then, Aqil, who was born normal, was destined to be a special child as a result of brain damage sustained during the episode.
The situation became difficult over the course of seven months due to various diagnostic and surgical procedures in the abdomen. We had to permanently install a feeding tube as Aqil was unable to suck and swallow through his mouth. After seven years of caring for a special child who needed close and intensive care, Aqil sadly passed away.
In the face of such adversity, and in most things that happen in life, I always instil the belief that every love and sorrow that is predestined in life are life events that will colour and give a sense of meaning. As a result, every challenge will be seen from a positive angle—each of them will have great wisdom.
Love and communication between spouses and children are the keys to serenity in going through trials and difficulties. The support system from family and friends also helps to maintain and live a good life.
Dr. Ku Suhaila’s International Women’s Day Message
By nature, women are created by the Creator with extraordinary inner strength and ability, as well as tenderness and love unrivalled by men. Improving spirituality and having a good belief system, focusing on self-care, creating a support system through good relationships, and maintaining psychological and mental health elements can help achieve a prosperous life.
3. Major Shera Ann Bosco
Major Shera, a retired army officer, is the Co-Founder of CARING MOMS, an entrepreneurial development platform that connects mothers and women to a network of individuals and corporations. She is also a motivational speaker and business coach.
What are the daily challenges you face as a working mother, particularly during this trying time of the pandemic, and how do you overcome them?
In general, we as mothers have always had to choose between our families, our caretaking responsibilities, and our work amid this health crisis. These daily challenges have now become part of my daily routine. The question for me, and most women, is how to avoid burnout?
I only use one tip that has proven to be extremely beneficial: List down all unproductive activities and chores that I dislike doing. Next, I will find other ways of getting around them. For example, let’s just say I want to come home and find home-cooked food ready for my family to eat. My solution? Order homemade meals from a reliable caterer.
The second thing I find unproductive is cleaning the house. To solve this problem, I live a very minimalist lifestyle where there are so few things at home. No decorations, no curtains, no carpets, no unnecessary plates or dishes, and only a few clothes. Folding laundry is another thing that many women dislike. To address this, all clothes are hung on a cloth hanger and, once dry, straight they go into the wardrobe.
Using this method has allowed me to spend at least two hours a day working out, having social meet-ups with my friends, engaging in hobbies, and spending quality time with my family.
Having more time has also given me more opportunities to provide personal training for women in the same predicament. Not only did I avoid burnout, but I’m now able to tap into my maximum potential and be the best version of myself every day.
Major Shera’s International Women’s Day Message
The message to all women, especially mothers, is to prioritise yourself, invest in yourself and put yourself first. In the days of our mothers and grandmothers, they call it being selfish. We now call this self-love, and it is important to remember that if you can’t love and care for yourself, you will never be able to truly do so for others. When you put yourself first, the rest will magically fall into place.
4. Associate Professor Dr. Elena Aisha Binti Azizan
Dr. Elena is a research lecturer at a reputable academic medical centre, Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia Medical Centre (UKMMC). Her main area of research is on secondary hypertension, specifically primary aldosteronism.
What excites you the most about being a working mum, and what are your parenting goals?
As a working mum, I’m truly blessed to have the support of doing the work that I’m passionate about while also ensuring that my children are well cared for. This is the reason why I had returned from the UK to my home country, to ensure that this support was available, despite perhaps the cut in paycheck.
Fortunately, the living expenses here are cheaper. As such, going to work for me is essentially doing my hobby, whereas when I’m at home, that is when I genuinely think I’m a working mother. This is connected to my parenting goals, where I always try my very best to be ‘present’ when I’m around my children.
I am a big believer in self-play or unregulated play because I feel it is healthy for children to use their imagination. However, resting at home does not really happen when you have young kids around. Even so, by striving for excellence at work and home, the children can hopefully look up to both parents as role models for finding jobs that they are passionate about.
Dr. Elena’s International Women’s Day Message
My message is that the sky is the limit when you put your heart into it. And always try to do the best for each circumstance. I am a big believer in thinking of oneself as an ambassador for who you stand for (e.g., Malaysian when I was in UK, female, mum, etc.), and in that manner become motivated to showcase my best.
5. Ms. Yuvernaes Chandrasekaran
Ms. Yuvernaes is a Senior Assistant Director at the Civil Aviation Authority of Malaysia (CAAM) and an experienced air traffic controller.
How do you manage your time between work and spending quality time with your children?
Being a mother of two boys, ages 9 and 10, while working full-time as an air traffic controller can be physically and emotionally exhausting. Managing the air traffic at Kuala Lumpur International Airport, the busiest airport in the country requires our full focus and concentration at all times.
The work that involves managing the flow of aircraft in and out of airport airspace, guiding pilots during take-off and landing, and monitoring air traffic during abnormal or poor weather conditions can lead to mental exhaustion. This can eventually disrupt family life.
I believe, the key point of finding the right balance between a profession and motherhood are positive thinking and setting priorities. I set a boundary to focus on my family life and my career as an air traffic controller separately. I find that organising weekly outings, bringing them for a quick lunch between my work schedule, or taking them for an evening bicycle ride is the best way for me to spend some quality time with my children.
Working on a shift rotation schedule rather than a typical 9 to 6 job, I juggle the countless chores at home as well as the numerous responsibilities for my children and spouse. I may not be doing it perfectly, but I am doing it with all my heart.
Ms. Yuvernaes’s International Women’s Day Message
Women who hold high positions across different industries, such as air traffic controllers, teachers, homemakers and caregivers, are all a combination of strength and power. They are the masters of multitasking; from raising their children to leading a nation, they inspire us in many ways. Wishing all the incredible women out there a Happy International Women’s Day!
6. Ms. Shirley Goh
Ms. Shirley is a well-established COSWAY Stockist and Cat Food Dealer at Lotus’s Selayang Branch.
What are the most valuable lessons you’ve learned as a mother?
As a single mother of two teenagers, ages 15 and 16, raising them on my own has been a challenging but rewarding experience. My experience as a parent has taught me to be passionate, loving, and multitasking. I am not only a mother, but also a teacher, a friend, a listener, and a problem solver.
It felt like the end of the world at first, especially since I have two young children to look after. I became hopeless and unsure of how to deal with the difficult situation. Knowing that I could only rely on myself, the 21-year-old me persevered and grew strong, passionate, and committed to working extremely hard to provide for my children and myself.
Nonetheless, I made it, and I am immensely proud of myself and my two adorable teenagers. In my 13 years as a single mother, I’ve learned to never give up, to keep going, and to never look back. Although the journey is difficult and exhausting, and I occasionally cry myself to sleep at midnight, I can regain my strength the next day.
I’m relieved that I get to watch my kids grow up every day, from crawling to standing, walking, and running and that they’ll soon have their own lives. Seeing how happy and healthy they are, all the tiredness and sadness automatically vanish. Especially when my children say the three magical words “Mummy, I love you” and kiss me. I feel invincible and capable of confronting any difficulties in front of me without fear.
To all single mothers out there, I’d like to encourage them to not be afraid, to never give up, to stay strong, to be proud of themselves, and don’t forget to give themselves a pat on the back.
Ms. Shirley’s International Women’s Day Message
To all the mothers around the world, I wish you the best of luck as you navigate motherhood. Although it may be difficult at times, whatever you do, always be proud, never lose hope, and continue to thrive. Roar! Roar! Roar!
#BreakTheBias
At the end of the day, it’s extremely important that you always stay true to yourself, ladies. And never forget, we can do anything we set ours minds to. Let’s continue to support and empower each other always. Happy International Women’s Day to all the amazing women out there from Motherhood.com.my!
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