As most parents know, parenting can at times be tough and challenging. When it comes to successful parenting methods and tips that work, they should embrace the needs of both parent and child. Whether mummies choose to stay home with their children or go back to work, parenting is hard.
We recently chatted with one of our #Mamacubatry testers. Her posts on Instagram, especially her Instastories, continue to delight us as she shares total honesty of her experiences when it comes to parenting and becoming a mum. Nuraina Muhammad, better known as Aina, is a loving wife to her husband, Irfan Asmadi. Together, this beautiful equation plays an important part to their 3 year-old princess, Heidi Latifah.
And yes, we would have never thought of a modern day child, let alone these days, having such a classic name attached to her birth certificate (Latifah). ‘I don’t mind it. I think it’s important as a Malay-Muslim mother to bring back such great classic names like Latifah, Osman, Orked and so on. We should be proud of our Malay heritage and culture. They seem to be fading away and literally not being passed on through our upcoming generations’, Aina added.
Together, Aina and Irfan run small businesses consisting of homemade food and local cosmetics. The former fashion stylist and her husband got married back in 2016 and decided to run small businesses for the sake of their daughter. She told us, ‘Being a mum is the most rewarding and a powerful thing for me. It’s amazing to watch myself grow as a parent since I became a wife. Running a small business within the comfort of our home allows me to attend to my husband and become a mother to Heidi all at the same time.
Just like all mummies, I may have had doubts initially on whether or not I can succeed in becoming a tremendous mum. But I’d like to take things slow and nurse my child one step at a time. I’m in full swing mode when it comes to work within my adjustable schedule. That’s one of the perks I get to enjoy when running my own business from home’, she continues.
With the support of her husband in the journey of becoming a mother, she added ‘I try my very best to apply the “gentle parenting” methods on my daughter. If you can identify with that, it means nothing you do is wrong. Even if it is, learn or work yourself around it. You need to have a lot of patience’.
So what are some of the ‘gentle parenting’ methods Aina mentioned? Read on as we’ve got them covered exclusively for you and all mummies out there!
The first few years of a child’s life plays a tremendous role in the child’s future eating habits. This is exactly how Aina copes with picky eating habits—as a result, her daughter is not a picky eater. ‘I believe that when it comes to feeding a child, we have to feed them around the clock. Don’t force them. But let them know that it’s time to have breakfast, lunch and dinner. Gather around the table and have meals together. Allow your child to graze rather than forcing them to eat. Don’t forget to include healthy options like fruits and vegetables too!’
‘”Always wait when it comes to toilet learning”, that’s the best tip I can give any parent on this subject’, Aina shares. She added, ‘I waited until she turned 2 years old to fully toilet-trained her until she can do it all by herself. Constant communication and patience are the keys to training her. My daughter was able to recognise her need for toileting at the age of 20 months old. My husband and I were fortunate enough to train her at that time’.
Don’t be afraid of your child’s emotions, especially when she cries. Aina added, ‘As much as my husband and I spread laughter, positivity and joy within our home, whenever my daughter cries or feels upset, it is important to respond by asking her how she feels and what’s causing it with respect, empathy and understanding. My worth as a parent is to be mature and calm enough to be there for her, whilst containing my daughter’s emotions and still remain present to comfort her’.
Aina doesn’t believe in punishing yet ignoring bad behaviour. ‘For me, the idea is simple: If your child is behaving in an unpleasant manner or doing something you don’t like, it’s because he or she is lacking attention. You shouldn’t be punishing them because what they need is positive in nature. Try having a one-to-one session with your child, speak with them and make them listen to you in a positive manner—have a conversation like an adult. It’s all about conversation and recognition when it comes to gentle parenting. If you punish a child, you are simply withdrawing their much needed attention. Punishing just doesn’t sit right with me as a parent’, Aina said.
Never reward your child with gifts or pocket money for doing chores. ‘I see a lot of parents linking chores and pocket money. For me, that is just wrong. They should have pocket money or allowance because it is an important part of their lovely and lively childhood. I taught my daughter on how to value her pocket money instead of rewarding her from doing chores. Chores are an essential part of one’s everyday life and it is to keep our environment tidy and clean. Rewarding behaviours like doing chores makes your child less likely to do them willingly if it doesn’t come with a reward or an offer’, she concluded.
We hope Aina’s gentle parenting methods will be helpful for all our readers!
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