One of the greatest moments of being a mother is watching your kid growing up. From just being able to crawl, then walking and later, running and making messes here and there. By time, mothers will realize that it is not all bliss and happiness that your child can bring you.
Starting from the age of 18 months old, kids usually will start throwing tantrums. Screaming, crying, kicking things; these all will drive mothers crazy. How to handle this without stressing you out?
Why did Tantrums happen?
As they grow, their brains will develop as well. Through this process, this is when throwing tantrum is considered normal for healthy growth. So, mothers should stop worrying and instead, let’s start to understand your child’s behaviour.
Why did they do that really?
#1. To communicate
Kids around this age are disabled to engage well in conversation. They cannot express their feelings well due to their limited linguistic skills. So, in their perspective, tantrum is the perfect way to communicate with us. This is how they portray their emotions such as anger and frustration.
#2. To be limitless
Kids entertain themselves in many ways; jumping, running around, tossing things here and there. From time to time, especially when it is dangerous, parents and caretakers will restrict their movements and refrain their wills. How exactly will they rebel against these orders? Yes, by throwing tantrums.
They want to be free to do whatever they want to. This is because their minds, for example, still could not process the idea of the danger that well. They will see these restrictions as pressure instead of good advices. Out of stress, they will throw tantrums hoping that their wishes will be granted.
#3. Bad parenting
According to the book entitled Pendidikan Anak-anak Dalam Islam by Dr Abdullah Nasih Ulwan, there are certain ways in bringing up your kids which in turn might contribute as the factors of tantrums. Such as:
- Inconsistency upbringing such as different opinions of father and mother in giving order will confuse the kids and this tends to have an adverse effect.
- Kids will throw tantrums when they did not get what they used to. Over spoiling your kids by giving them everything they desire might cause them to throw tantrums later when denied.
Tips on Handling Child’s Tantrums
Instead of stressing over it, how about mommies try these tips out?
#1. Distract their attention
When your child is about to have tantrums, mommies should quickly distract their attention. Bring them somewhere else or show them something interesting around them.
#2. Be calm
According to Dr. Norharlina Bahar, it is important for mothers to not be panic when their child is throwing tantrums. Stay calm and do not give any reaction to their behaviour. They will soon realize that throwing tantrums will give no effect and gradually stop doing it. The best way to react to tantrums is letting it be.
#3. Ensure their safety
Make sure of your children’s safety when they are having tantrums. Clear any sharp and dangerous objects around them before you let them be.
#4. Do not punish
Even though it is unpleasant, mommies should not punish children in the middle of tantrums. Screaming and beating them will only make it worse. Control your emotion and let them calm down on their own.
#5. Strictly no reward
It is not right for parents to stop tantrums by promising rewards. Children will likely to use tantrum as an easy way in fulfilling their wishes.
#6. ‘Time-out’
Mommies can use this method in handling a child’s tantrums. A time-out is an approach in which children are separated from usual surrounding and removed from all the fun things in order to make them reflect on their behaviour.
This approach is advisable for kids of 2 years old age and above. At this age, they are usually capable of processing and understanding the situation better. Mommies need to have a talk with them after that, telling them what is right and wrong and explain the purposes of each of your actions.
This way, they will understand that tantrums are unacceptable.
#7. Slow talk
After they have calmed down, bring them closer to you and have a conversation with them. Give them an explanation on why it is wrong and why mommies did this and that. It is important to make them understand the significance of your actions so that they are able to grasp the situation better.
Teach them how to show their feelings in the right way. For example, if they are sad, ask them to talk to you and pour their heart out. Let them know you will listen and be there for them.
It is necessary to always have this kind of talk so that they will learn how to handle their emotions in the right way.
Mommies should understand that tantrum is a normal behaviour for healthy kids. Since they are unable to show their emotion well, this is how they react. So, it is our responsibility to show them and make them understand which is right and which is wrong. Be stress-free and let’s try these tips out!