Every mother who has had a child that fussed, cried and got cranky will cite the Witching Hour as the cause. It doesn’t matter how well behaved our children are during the day, when dusk arrives and the sun goes down from 6:30 ─ 7pm, they will inexplicably start throwing tantrums and be impossible to please. For babies, especially infants, they would fuss and behave as if they have colic. They would cry and scream at the top of their lungs, arch their backs, tense and flail their arms and legs and nothing you can do will console them. For older children, especially toddlers below the age of six, they might have a complete meltdown, bawl their eyes out and kick and scream if these demands are not met.
What is the Witching Hour?
From information gathered, the Witching Hour, it seems, is real. In European folklore where the term “witching hour” first came from, the time it refers to is 2am ─ 4am. This was when supernatural creatures such as witches, demons, and ghosts were thought to be flying around on their broomsticks, terrorizing people.
If any of you have watched Harry Potter movies ─ the franchise showcases the era when witchcraft and wizardry were rife. According to Wikipedia, the phrase “Witching Hour” was first coined in 1835.
In modern times, the “witching hour” refers to evening phases of crankiness in babies that suddenly sets in. It might make you think your little one is affected by the dark side!
Supernatural Beliefs in Malaysia
True or not, we will never know for sure, but in Malaysia, the term “witching hour” certainly applies. Malaysia is a superstitious country owing to its multiculturalism. It is hence steeped in many age-old folklores and spiritual beliefs that go back to the time when the supernatutral was used to explain away things we could not understand.
Consider the many superstitions we follow when pregnant ─ Don’t take kicap while pregnant or the baby will turn out dark skinned, don’t renovate or move house or you might miscarry, don’t kill an animal whether accidentally or intentionally during pregnancy or the baby will come out looking like the animal you killed.
And so these superstitions continue after birth. Each of our cultures has its own belief system on the paranormal. When it comes to the Witching Hour for children, usually starting at nightfall at around 7pm till the wee hours of the morning, the elders would say children cry and vex because that’s when the spirits come out in droves to “disturb” the innocent and vulnerable.
Children “see” things that adults cannot see, they say, and maybe they are right. Young children, especially babies, are discouraged from being brought out near trees or forested areas at night or to funerals or desolate places that are dark and gloomy for fear of lurking spirits that may attack the “young and defenseless new life”.
I still remember the little incantation my parents would say whenever my freshly toilet-trained youngest brother needed to do an urgent pee back in the day when he was a kid. He was around three or four at the time and there would be times during family outings when he would need to empty his bladder outdoors. My parents would rush him behind the nearest bush and as he urinated, they would incant (in Chinese) this chant to the spirit of the trees. Loosely translated, it goes like this: “We seek permission to use your space. This is only a child, he does not understand, please do not be offended.”
Now this may sound silly to 21st Century mums but if you think about it ─ the request for permission to use nature as a dumping spot for one’s boldily wastes does teach a child to be mindful and respectful of their environment from young. Whether or not there are spirits in trees is not the point ─ every action has a reaction and everything we do, whether good or bad, always boomerangs in a karmic arc. Just hope that the reaction you get is not from a spirit who wants revenge because you just peed on him!
Other more apparent signs of our belief in the supernatural are the many red alters and shrines you see set up under trees all around town. These alters are to appease the spirit of the trees or the gods that may reside in the vicinity. To this day, you will see them everywhere you go, regardless of how built-up that part of town may be. That says a lot about how insistent we are in following age-old beliefs and practices.
Logical Explanations & Tips to Banish Witching Hour Meltdowns
But what if you don’t subscribe to the supernatural and prefer to use logic and cold hard science to explain away the Witching Hour? If not spooks and spirits, what could be “disturbing” your children to make them vex so much?
The answer may be simple.
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For Babies
For newborns and babies, the Witching Hour starts at around two to three weeks old. It will peak at around six to eight weeks then taper off at three to four months old. These episodes will usually start from 6pm to 7pm and last for many hours into the night, usually until 10pm or later, driving parents out of their mind.
For these babies, colic and gas have been blamed as the cause. Other reasons are: An immature digestive system, insufficient burping, immature nervous system, the “fourth trimester” of developmental adjustments and low breast milk supply in the evening which is frustrating to baby as he cannot drink enough to get filled. All these and more have been said to be the cause of baby’s Witching Hour. But for sure, the low milk supply for breastfeeding mums doesn’t hold water because formula-fed babies also experience the Witching Hour. Furthermore, not all babies experience it regardless of how they feed.
The Witching Hour could also apply to babies that might not have colic but who are just fussy in the evenings. The reason may be they have been overstimulated by sights and sounds in the day, don’t know how to settle down, are bored from seeing their new world from one point of view (lying down) and they don’t know how to self soothe, so they need to scream and let it go. However, the more they scream, the more agitated they will get and the way they writhe as they cry may give mothers the impression they are in pain. The crying will go on until they wear off from exhaustion eventually.
It’s not easy to handle a Baby Witching Hour but here are some suggestions.
How to Handle the Witching Hour for a Baby
- Babywearing
Put baby in a wrap to haved tight closeness while you walk around the house, giving him a sense of motion. This way of “carrying” baby also lets you go hands-free to do things around the house while baby watches. Baby wearing can be daddy’s job too, not just mummy’s.
- Go for some Fresh air Outside
Take baby for a walk or go for a car ride or stroller-ride. The fresh air and change of scenery and smells will do everyone good.
- Give Baby a Bath
Give baby a warm bath. Somehow it helps to relax baby and put him to sleep. After bath, get into a rocking chair with baby. Dim the lights and rock-a-bye baby.
- White Noise
White noise and swaddles work their magic too. Here is a recording of white noise. There are many on You Tube. You can experiment with many and choose the one that works best to help baby drift off soundly.
- Hold the Baby in a Football Hold
Here are two videos on how to stop a baby from crying instantly by holding her in a Football Hold. This suggests that baby would like to change his position now and then.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDoU1tyN8to
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For Toddlers
The Witching Hour could happen to toddlers too. It isn’t over for babies when it tapers off at four months as the phenomenon will reappear later at the age of one, two and so on until pre-school age.
But the Witching Hour is a little bit different for this age group. Lasting for shorter periods─ usually in the window of between 6pm ─7pm until bedtime, older children could get belligerent and cantankerous. They could pick a fight with their siblings or with you or get whiney and defiant.
Actually, all this drama is really to demand for your attention.
How to Handle the Witching Hour for a Toddler
- They Want Your Attention
They have just been picked up from Day Care, it has been many hours of separation, they are hungry and tired so they create a ruckus to say: “Look at me, I want attention, I want a hug.”
Yes, you are tired too. You’ve had a long day at work, there’s the laundry to do, housework to take care off, maybe even dinner to cook. The last thing you need at this hour is to have to deal with a crabby child. But yelling won’t help. It will only exacerbate the situation and put you in a worse mood.
Many parenting experts agree that emotional connections between children and their parents are essential for creating positive relationships. Strong relationships lead to children who want to listen to, and please their parents. Lack of a strong connection can be a prime explanation for children who act out or meltdown.
It should come as no surprise, then, that after a long day of separation, kids want to connect with their parents. The good news is ─ by this age they are able to talk and tell you precisely what they want.
Older kids may want to show you the art they drew or the craft they made in preschool, or they may want you to play a game or read a book or simply spend one-on-one time with them. Spend 15 minutes of dedicated time with them before launching into housework can meet their needs.
- Make Them Feel Useful
Give them a grown-up task. Tell them to help mummy out. Think about how you can make them feel useful and involve them in teamwork. Maybe you can pull up a stool and have them wash a few dishes, or some other job. The idea is to change their state of mind and to burn off their latent negative energy at the same time.
- Music and Dancing
Music always lifts the mood of the house. Sing, dance, have a dance party. It will always work off their energy and get them into a happy mood to sleep.
Watching a movie or having screen time is not recommended though. It may appear they’re being calm, sitting quietly and watching but it’s actually having the opposite effect on their brain: it’s stimulating them back into “wake-up mode” rather than winding them down for bed.
- Go for a Walk
After looking at the same four walls of the daycare or nursery for a full day, day after day, walks and quiet time outside of the usual environment can be refreshing for the child. A change of scenery can be most enjoyable. The “walk” can even be sitting at the porch or on the garden swing and enjoying the evening air together. Do wear mosquito repellent beforehand!
For more tips and tricks on Baby and Toddler care, go to Motherhood.com.my