“Motherhood is a choice you make every day, to put someone else’s happiness and well-being ahead of your own, to teach the hard lessons, to do the right thing even when you’re not sure what the right thing is…and to forgive yourself, over and over again, for doing everything wrong.” ─ Donna Ball (Author)
That’s right. No matter how many baby books you might have read during your pregnancy, nothing prepares you for the reality of motherhood like the shock it is. Suddenly, you are responsible for the helpless, completely reliant little human being in your arms that you will need to protect, nurture and shape until he can stand on his own two feet in all senses of the word one day.
This feeling can be overwhelming, especially for first-time mothers who have not known anything otherwise; but you learn on the job, hands-on. And you grow into it and change over time to become the mother you are today.
So how was it for you? Did you feel a profuse sense of love or were you nervous about not knowing what to do when you first set eyes on your newborn baby?
Here are 4 true stories from real mothers who tell you what it was like when they first made their journey into motherhood and what they’ve learnt from it so far.
“Motherhood was the great equaliser for me; I started to identify with everybody.”
~ Annie Lennox (Singer-songwriter) ~
Story 1: Mama Nor (39), Mum of 4 (ages 15, 5, 3 and 10 months)
Motherhood for me began after 9 long hours of labour pain 15 years ago. Weighing in at 3.75kg via normal delivery, my first born was a labour of love. But when I saw his cute little puffy face, an inexplicable wave of intense emotions came over me. I felt like I had just had the biggest victory of my life. I wanted to hold him close to me forever.
10 years later, my little princess came. She was a whopping 4.85kg and I had to have Emergency Caesarean Section to have her. Again, when I held her in my arms, I felt an overwhelming desire to care, love and protect her.
My third and fourth children came soon after and I have to say after so many years of being a mother, it was my children who taught me about love, patience, resilience and strength. They also opened my eyes to my own capabilities. I am currently a full-time working mum and mumpreneur of my own business.
When a woman is a mother, she will find that there is no rest from motherhood. It is a 24/7 work routine where every nerve and fibre of her being is put to the test without rest and yet, it is the most beautiful feeling in the world.
“Motherhood is not for the faint-hearted. Frogs, skinned knees, and the insults of teenage girls are not meant for the wimpy.”
~ Danielle Steel (Author) ~
Story 2: Ateeya Lee (32), Mum of 2 (ages 4 and 5)
Do you believe in love at first sight? Well, I have experienced it twice when I gave birth to my daughters. It was a feeling that I cannot even explain. It is beyond anything else in this world. It’s like you are willing to sacrifice anything to keep your children safe and happy. You would do anything possible and impossible for them.
When I became a mother for the first time, it was not an easy journey. I did not know what to do. I did not expect taking care of a small human could be that tough. But you enjoy every moment of it. You enjoy the experience it gives you, the sleepless nights, the exhaustion from taking care of them. Those early days was a heck of an experience. Unfortunately for me, I had postpartum depression, probably because I got too tired. As a mother I had no other choice but to keep being strong for my little ones. The depression lasted until I gave birth to my second daughter. I made it through, because of them. They are my big WHYs. I have to be strong for them. I’m willing to do anything to keep those smiles on their faces.
How has motherhood changed me? Well, spending my 20s living in Kuala Lumpur gave me freedom, I could do whatever I wanted without anybody stopping me. Clubbing, having fun with friends, I went out almost every night, hanging out at the Mamak shops till 4 or 5am. But now that I think back, that wasn’t happiness because it didn’t have purpose. I had no responsibilities to think about. Everything changed once I got my two girls. My priorities changed, my life changed, and it changed for good. Whatever I do now is for them. I’m happy with my life now with my daughters in the picture.
Motherhood is life changing, challenging, inspiring and it makes you want to be a better person. It teaches you about sacrifice.
To my dear Malika and Marissa, Mummy loves you guys so much. You guys are my happiness and my world.
“It’s not easy being a mum. If it were easy, fathers would do it.”
~ Betty White (Actress) ~
Dr Sumaty Rengadan (37), Mum of 2 (ages 4 and 2) and expecting a third child
The feeling of being a mother for the first time is not explainable. I had a forceps delivery due to foetal distress and it was a very painful labour. I myself am a child of a mother who delivered 7 children via normal delivery. I always admired the way my mum raised us to be good human beings.
The moment I delivered my first little hero, I felt so complete. I forgot about the painful labour and my tears poured out just thinking of my mother. I had mixed feelings thinking of my own motherhood journey when holding my little one in my arms after delivery.
Now two children later, everything is sailing smoothly. I am expecting my third baby who will be delivered in another 2 months. I am experiencing my true meaning and happiness in life since becoming a mother.
As a healthcare worker in the Emergency Department of a large hospital and a mother who was carrying my second child during the pandemic, juggling my dual role at the time was a real test. The COVID-19 pandemic had enormously affected the psychological well-being, social and working life of millions of people around the world.
Every mother wishes to carry her pregnancy in a calm environment but things for me went the other way when the pandemic hit. But still, my responsibility as a mother to carry the pregnancy safely was always on my mind. At the same time, I made sure I provided the best care for COVID patients. I delivered my second baby in the middle of the pandemic in 2020. Sometimes, life is such that you cannot have the ideal situation to prepare for the ideal motherhood journey. I wouldn’t have stayed steady and strong without the support of my healthcare team, family and friends.
“Birth is the epicentre of women’s power.”
~ Ani DiFranco (Singer-songwriter) ~
Rebecca Ng (29), Mum of 1 (age 6)
From a stranger to the love of my life. Never have I ever thought that a little heartbeat would mean so much to me. I endured 36 hours of labour pain without epidural because I wanted to know what natural childbirth would feel like.
I was only 23 when I first discovered my little boy. I hardly knew what motherhood was like back then. It was so challenging yet it was the most wonderful experience in my life. Our breastfeeding journey for one whole year was the best bonding moments between the both of us. Years went by, and life didn’t turn out to be the perfect dream family, but I kept my word to be there as much as I could for him as a mother. Although I am now a single mum, my relationship with my son grew stronger by the day and we are now inseparable. We would spend time together as much as we could. As promised, mummy hopes to give the best for you and I would never let go. Through ups and downs, every step of life is a journey that I would learn. I am truly blessed to have him as my son.
Image credits: All images courtesy of the respective mothers.
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