I couldn’t believe what the doctor told us.
I cried for a long time, not knowing what to do or how to deal with this situation.
As we move into marriage, most of us would dream of starting a family with lovely children.
While it comes natural and easy to some, it might be an emotional and struggling journey for some couples too.
It’s not something that most of us would talk about, so we are here to share our journey of conceiving and having children with two miscarriages initially.
We hope our story can help others to understand or maybe just to feel that someone else gets the pain they’re going through.
The long journey of conceiving with miscarriages in between
I am from Malaysia and my husband is from China. Being married for 18 years, we had tried to conceive babies naturally without any professional help during the first two years.
We eventually seek for medical and professional help for the next three years and sadly to say, I had experienced two miscarriages.
On top of this, my husband also suffered from an illness where he needed to undergo an operation. We rested for a year so that my husband could fully recover.
#1 The struggling moments when I knew about my miscarriage
When the doctor told us that there was no heartbeat, I experienced a total emotional breakdown.
I couldn’t make sense of the situation of why I had miscarriages. I thought I was pregnant.
I thought there was really a baby in me.
As we couldn’t believe it after the first medical check-up, we decided to went to a few doctors for clarification.
Every time when we met a new doctor, we kept our fingers crossed that our lovely baby was alive.
We were hoping that the baby would show us he was there. Just have a little small heartbeat to show your daddy and mummy.
Unfortunately, we received the same answer from every doctor: there was no sign of life and it’s better for me to undergo labour induction to remove the foetus.
I couldn’t accept the advice told by the doctors as I did not believe in abortion.
And I refused to give up. I was having hopes that there would be a heartbeat sooner or later.
Maybe a miracle would happen within one or two weeks.
No matter how much I insisted there was a baby inside me, the doctor told us that it was pointless waiting.
Sooner or later, I would have to take the foetus out or it will come out by itself.
Eventually, I had a miscarriage. It was quite a painful experience as I felt like I had undergone the true labour with contraction.
#2 The devastating moments after my miscarriage
I was lost as I couldn’t make out the situation of being pregnant and losing my baby without knowing why in a short instance.
I wasn’t ready to give up our dream of growing our family.
Though my husband comforted me throughout the process, I felt very lonely. We were in China back then. I did not know anyone else besides my husband and my mother-in-law.
Having my family in Malaysia, my husband suggested me to call my dad to talk about the situation. Perhaps my father could help me to understand the situation better.
After crying for several nights, I decided to gave my dad a call and told him what happened.
It was indeed the right decision as my dad told me something that truly made me feel better.
Here’s what he said to me,
Your mom had a miscarriage before, so it’s normal and common.
My dad assured me that I shouldn’t feel too sad over the whole situation as it’s not meant to be. If the God doesn’t give it to me, it’s fine. It’s meant to let it go.
Once I heard that my mom who had passed away since I was very young had a miscarriage before, I felt that it was something we had in common.
I was not alone in the journey of conceiving a baby.
This is one of the reasons we’re here to share this moment with others – we hope to help other mothers to understand that they are not alone. There are a lot of us who have gone through this and it is understandable to feel that it’s not a happy process.
#3 The true cost of conceiving and starting a family
Financially, we have spent over a hundred thousand throughout the process. We started by preparing ourselves physically with supplements and medications. Then, we also diligently followed the monitoring appointments.
If you ask us whether it’s worth it, let us announce how many children we have in our happy family.
Do, Re, Mi, Fa! We have four children and 2 of them were out of natural conceptions!
That’s when we understand that nature will reward you with the best if you keep up your passion and give your best.
What’s even more rewarding is that our first son is followed by our daughter, and another son and lastly another daughter.
In the Chinese culture, it is said that a daughter and a son match up to form the word of ‘goodness’.
As you can see, I am blessed with two ‘goodness’. That’s why my friends always tease me that I hit better than any grand prize of the lottery.
In a way, it’s true for us as we’re really blessed to have these four beautiful children.
#4 My advice to couples who are still trying or wish to try
As you know by now, we have been through lots of tough times. However, I strongly believe the other parents are able to go through this process as well.
It’s not easy but just don’t give up.
I am sure that you can do this and it will be a beautiful and wonderful experience.
Once you have a beautiful baby right in your arms, you will know that every worry just goes away.
Everything is worth it.
Your Journey Of Conceiving Is Never Alone With ClearBlue
Starting a family shouldn’t be a lonely fight between you and your husband. With Clearblue Digital Ovulation Test, you will be able to know when you are most likely to conceive.
Here’s how it works.
By detecting your luteinising hormone (LH) surge, the test kit gives you an easy-to-read result by pinpointing the two days when you are most fertile.
You can equally enjoy other products from Clearblue like the Clearblue Digital Pregnancy Test with Weeks Indicator, Clearblue Plus Pregnancy Test and Clearblue Easy Pregnancy Test to accompany your journey of having a new family member.
Get yours from the nearest pharmacy or you can get the Clearblue Plus Pregnancy Test on Motherhood.com.my with 15% OFF!
Do share your wonderful experience using Clearblue with us along with the #Mama Cuba Try campaign and you can get yourself a FREE baby box.
At Motherhood Story, we celebrate every new life in your family and we bless and honour every journey of conception.