Maternal burnout is an epidemic that needs to be addressed.
It doesn’t matter whether they are first-time moms or veterans to the experience; the toll that parenting takes on mothers is unimaginable.
There are differences between a burnout and outright depression; both in the symptoms and how to handle it.
You can learn the signs to be able to assess your condition and seek the help that you need.
The Differences Between Burnout and Depression
Burnout is a state of complete mental and physical exhaustion that renders you feeling drained and empty.
You may feel either apathetic or have an acute sense of dread and hopelessness.
It comes from excessive and prolonged emotional, physical, and mental stress over a long period of time.
It leaves you feeling as if everything has been taken out of you and you have nothing left to offer.
Burnout is the result of being overworked for far too long.
This can be interpreted in many ways, and you can see how maternal burnout is a huge problem.
Depression on the other hand does not always have a trigger. It is medical illness and is more of a mental disorder.
In the simplest terms depression can be described as a prolonged and persisting sadness that has no rhyme or reason.
It is much harder to deal with than burnout; a constant uphill battle.
Burnout can be managed by removing the stressors and taking a break.
After this lifestyle change and some time to recuperate there will be a definite uplift in your mood.
Depression is a different beast altogether.
Severe cases require medication and therapy just to be able to function normally.
It can negatively affect the way you think, act and feel, making everything feel meaningless.
It sucks the pleasure out of everything you do.
As severe as depression is, you can handle it with professional medical care; just as any other illness.
There is no need to lose hope, even when your life seems at its worst.
Causes of Maternal Burnout
Maternal burnout can be due to multiple factors, and often depends on the specific circumstances that the mother faces.
Every person has different triggers and problems.
There are a few very common situations that get overwhelming for mothers.
More often than not, an accumulation of these stressors leads to a burnout.
New Challenges
This is highly applicable for new mothers.
Dealing with a baby for the first time is no doubt one of the most stressful experiences in life.
This is not to say that mothers who have had children previously do not feel challenged.
Experience does lend a helping hand but there are some situations that you just cannot be prepared for.
Everything from sleeping and feeding to dealing with an illness can be scary. Babies are delicate and anything could go wrong.
High Expectations
Taking care of a new baby is incredibly difficult and yet mothers are often expected to be doing it perfectly from the get go.
In modern times, this is usually in addition to a job of some sort.
Juggling parenting and a career is difficult for anyone, and the societal expectations thrust upon a mother do not make things better.
Success is written off as their duty whereas mistakes are unforgivable.
To force mothers to work this hard is completely unreasonable yet it is an everyday occurrence for them.
Keeping up with these expectations will leave anyone exhausted.
Division of Labour
Mothers often carry the brunt of childcare.
Even when dads try to help out, any extra or unexpected work may often end up being pushed onto mum.
Even if it sometimes done subconsciously.
This is where dads have to step up.
There are already a lot of things that mothers have an obligation to do all by themselves.
To start with, between breastfeeding (if they are and able to do so) and having to recover from childbirth, for example.
It is not only that mothers may often have to do most of the work, it is that the cycle repeats every day.
When there are no breaks and no help, a burnout is inevitable.
Isolation
With the combined busyness of a new baby and needing to heal after childbirth, the last thing a mother feels like doing is going out around town.
This might be the exact thing that is causing stress.
With your baby at home, getting out might be exactly what you need to take your mind off of things.
Being lonely in a house with a new baby and needing to care for them all the time can turn anyone crazy.
Being in isolation from friends and family only makes matters worse.
Getting Help
No matter what the cause of maternal burnout is, there are ways to get out of this situation.
With the support of your partner, family and friends you can overcome these difficulties.
Therapy
Therapy tends to still have negative connotations, especially in Asian households.
It is often associated with mental illness and seen as an unnecessary practice.
But this could not be further from the truth.
Sometimes we need a sympathetic ear that can lead us onto the right path, and a therapist is very much qualified to do so.
Even if it is just to get your thoughts in order and pinpoint the exact cause of your stress, a therapy session or two can make a world of difference.
Do Not Compare
There is a famous saying that goes ‘Comparison is the thief of joy‘ and that is nothing but the truth.
Putting you and your baby’s progress up against others will only lead to insecurity and dissatisfaction.
Moreover, no one knows exactly what goes on in everyone else’s lives.
Every mother has her own set of problems; no matter how perfect she may seem on the outside.
Find a Community
Being able to express your worries to a group of like-minded people can really take a load off your shoulders.
Finding a community of mothers is a step in the right direction.
Not only will these new companions act as an encyclopaedia of advice and comfort, they will act as company for you during trying times.
Get Enough Rest
Doing work all day is no fun, and doing work without rest is purely exhausting.
Being tired while taking care of your baby will not only wring you out, it may jeopardise your baby’s wellbeing.
Getting enough rest is vital, so enlist your partner to do his fair share of work and give you some time to recuperate.
Taking Things Seriously
Maternal burnout is no joke.
It can consume a mother and lead to much more serious mental health disorders if you do not do anything to ease your burden.
Ask for help, take all the time you need to rest and never feel ashamed that you are going through this.
It is completely normal, although it should not be happening in this day and age.
It is high time mothers are taken better care of, so issues like this would not be so prevalent.
Disclaimer: The information provided in this article is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as medical advice from Motherhood. For any health-related concerns, it is advisable to consult with a qualified healthcare professional or medical practitioner.
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