There was a moment, not very long ago.
I was standing in front of my table, laptop updating during the worst possible time, my little one clinging to the other – when I realised going back to work wasn’t going to be as simple as packing a bag and showing up.
It felt like standing at the edge of two worlds.
One foot in the life I had carefully built at home with the kids, and another trying to step back into a world I had once navigated so confidently – meetings, deadlines, ambition.
In Malaysia, where family values run deep and success often carries its own set of expectations, making the decision to return to work wasn’t just about logistics.
It wasn’t even just about me.
It was about carrying the hopes of a family who had invested so much into my education, my opportunities, my dreams.
And it was about carrying my own hopes too – battered a little, but still alive, somewhere.
Mummies, this isn’t a ‘how-to’ on career comebacks.
It’s simply my story shared in the hope that if you’re standing where I stood, you’ll feel a little less alone.
The Emotional Rollercoaster: Learning to Honour My Feelings
When I first started thinking about returning to work, I expected nerves. Maybe even a bit of excitement.
But what I didn’t expect was feeling everything, all at once.
There were days I was thrilled at the idea of stepping back into my professional skin.
There were nights when doubt crept in: Was I still relevant? Would anyone even remember what I could do?
There were long afternoons when guilt whispered in my ear; for wanting more, for risking the balance I had worked so hard to build at home.
It made me realise something I wish someone had told me earlier:
You don’t have to feel only one thing to be ready.
You can be hopeful and afraid. Grateful and grieving.
It’s all part of the journey.
Finding My New Rhythm (Not Trying to Fit Back Into the Old One)
One thing I hadn’t expected was how different everything would feel – not just the idea of working on top of already being a stay-at-home mum, but me.
I come from a family of go-getters, where ambition wasn’t just encouraged, it was expected.
We were raised to believe in working hard, climbing steadily, and making the most of every opportunity – especially when so much had been invested in our education and our dreams.
I had spent years studying, building my skills, believing that every step forward had to be deliberate and measurable.
So when I decided to return to work after time away, I assumed it would be about picking up where I left off.
I thought it would be a matter of strategy – finding the right opportunity, presenting myself well, ticking all the right boxes again.
But life had other ideas.
When I stepped back into the ‘outside’ world, it wasn’t about catching up, or trying to blend back in like no time had passed.
It wasn’t about ticking off titles or chasing after what I used to want.
It was about finding that rhythm that made sense for the person I had become – someone who carried motherhood and new priorities alongside ambition.
I learnt that it’s okay for my goals to evolve.
It’s okay for my definition of success to shift from job titles and salaries to balance, meaning, and personal growth.
And it’s okay that I no longer measure my worth by the same markers I once did – because my life isn’t just a straight line upwards.
It’s wider now.
Quietly Rewriting My Own Story
One of the hardest things to unlearn was the idea that I had fallen behind.
That I needed to ‘catch up’ – to prove I was still the ambitious girl my family believed in.
That I had to show my time away hadn’t dulled my edge.
But slowly, I realised: I’m not behind. I’m not late. I’m not less.
I’m simply walking a different path now.
In a society that often measures women by how seamlessly they juggle it all – work, family, personal dreams, I decided I just didn’t have the energy to constantly be sprinting.
So, I stopped comparing.
Little Wins, Big Courage
I used to believe success had to come with big, shiny milestones.
Good grades, black cards, continental cars, minimal designer homes – you name it.
Now, I see it in the smaller moments – the ones no one else might even notice.
The first confident email I sent. The first time I managed to switch between work mode and mummy mode without feeling like I had failed at both.
These moments are my quiet triumphs.
Proof that I am not who I used to be and that’s not a loss. It’s a gain I could never have planned for.
What Helped Me Along the Way
If you’re standing at the edge of your own beginning, here’s what helped me and still helps me, every single day:
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Reconnect with people who see your light, even when you forget it’s there.
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Reframe the story you tell yourself – it’s not about making up for lost time, but about adding new layers to your journey.
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Protect your peace fiercely – not every opportunity deserves a yes.
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Celebrate the smallest wins – they are not stepping stones to success; they are success.
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Believe in your growth, even when it feels slow.
You don’t have to be ready all at once. Sometimes, simply stepping forward is the bravest thing you can do.
My New Beginning, Written My Way
Returning to work wasn’t about returning to who I was.
It was about embracing who I had become – a woman whose ambition didn’t disappear with motherhood, but grew deeper, stronger, and more intentional.
Some days are very messy. Some days are magical. Most days are a little bit of both.
But every day, I am proud of the life I am building – one step, one choice, one brave new beginning at a time.
If you’re walking your own comeback journey, know this: You’re not alone.
You are still everything you hoped to be and more.
And the best part is, you get to write this next chapter, your way.
Disclaimer: The information provided in this article is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as medical advice from Motherhood. For any health-related concerns, it is advisable to consult with a qualified healthcare professional or medical practitioner.
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