Your eldest may have gotten used to being the baby of the family.
However, when the time comes to bring in a new addition to the household, anxiety may arise.
How do you break it to your first child that they are about to have a sibling?
Children react differently to the news. Older kids with friends who have siblings may already know what to expect.
Those who have not started preschool, on the other hand, may be oblivious to the experience.
There’s plenty of advice on how to foster a healthy sibling relationship between your first child and your newborn.
Here are several that can help you prepare your child for a new baby sibling.
Involve Them in the Process
The first thing parents may unintentionally do when they have a second child is neglect their first one.
Sibling rivalry often stems from jealousy, which is the last thing you want to cultivate at home. So, give them the attention they need.
One way to do this is by involving them in the process of going through the pregnancy.
Take them with you for checkups and scans. Show them your ultrasounds and prenatal vitamins, and explain what they are.
Ask them what kind of names they’d like for their sibling.
Ask for their help when you’re setting up the nursery.
Ask them to help pick out toys and baby clothes.
Every little thing helps.
Answer Their Questions
Young children tend to have a lot of questions about pregnancy. It’s important to entertain their curiosity.
Once you start showing, this is usually around the time they may ask the dreaded question most parents fear, “Where do babies come from?”
Depending on their age, keep the details sparse as to not traumatise them.
A good tip is to redirect the question back at them.
Ask them where they think babies come from, and correct their assumptions where appropriate.
Remind them that at one point, they were once a baby too.
Buy Some Books
Books are a great way to educate children on sensitive topics like gender, pregnancy, childbirth, and even death.
Some books are specifically written to help young children come to terms with the arrival of new siblings.
Consider buying a couple of titles and sitting down to read with them.
Depending on the theme, some books may touch on different aspects of the situation.
One book may show them what it’s like to have a baby in the house. Another may help them understand their new role in the family as the eldest child.
Depending on their developmental level, find a title that your eldest can easily understand.
A good book will usually indicate the target age group.
If anything, it’s a good bonding experience with your eldest to reassure them that you will always have time for them.
Show Them Videos and Movies
A good way to comfort your child is to show them videos of other people’s children. Preferably positive ones.
There are plenty on social media featuring young siblings engaged in pleasant activities together.
Your child will be delighted when they see how much fun it would be to have a sibling.
Another way would be to watch some Disney movies with them, particularly those that show healthy sibling relationships. Kids love animated films.
Expose Them to Real Life Newborns
Younger children often don’t understand that babies are not exactly ideal playmates.
At least, not straight away. Not in their first few years of life.
So, depending on their age gap, they probably won’t be able to do many activities together.
However, helping your first child acclimate to the presence of newborns can ease them into having one around the house.
If you have relatives or friends with newborns, then perhaps arrange for regular meetups.
This way, if your child has any questions about babies (and trust me, they will) you can address their concerns straight away.
Seeing a real baby instead of just having a vague concept of them can be helpful. Your child will know not to be too noisy or too rough around their newborn sibling.
Invest in a Baby Doll
Alternatively, and this may be a bit controversial, buy a ‘fake baby’.
If you haven’t already bought a baby doll for your first child, perhaps reconsider.
There are those specially made that mimic real-life newborn.
You have to feed them, change them, dress them and bathe them.
Some can even make life-like baby noises that alert their owners to their needs.
Your first child can experience what it’s like to take care of a baby. Along with all the challenges that come with it.
The empathy they develop may ease their jealousy. Especially during times when you have to give your undivided attention to the new baby.
Make the Most Out of Your Time Together
Like it or not, your eldest may face some neglect the first few months of the baby’s arrival.
Between the hourly feedings, diaper changes and nighttime hunger pangs, you may not have as much time for your first child any more.
Therefore, make it a point to spend as much time with them as possible before your due date. Preferably, the moment you get your test results.
Take them out for ice-cream, watch movies together, play games, go to the park. Anything to shower them with attention.
This may be impossible for working parents, but do what you can over the weekends.
Ask Your Spouse to Fill in for You
The love of one parent is usually never enough for a young child.
So, while your spouse can look after your eldest, there are times when a child simply needs their mother.
During those times, ask your spouse to take over the baby duties, so you can mend the rift.
Harvest and store your breast milk in advance so that mealtimes can take place without you present.
That way, when the hunger pangs come, your spouse can do the feeding. This leaves you plenty of time to give some long-overdue attention to your eldest.
Don’t Worry Too Much About It
Despite all you may have attempted, your eldest may still not like the new baby. At least initially.
In case they have already developed some sibling jealousy, there are steps you can take to address it.
However, they will usually grow out of it with time.
Sibling rivalry is simply the bittersweet reality of being part of a family. No matter what happens, they will grow to love one another.
The best thing you can do as a parent is to love them equally for who they are.
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