In a world that prizes having children as the ultimate achievement of womanhood, society can sure be unforgiving to mothers.
TikToker and mum, Dina Sallehuddin, paints a pretty poignant picture of this reality in a video.
In it, she highlights the various judgements mothers may have to face from relatives, friends, co-workers, peers and even strangers.
Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
That is likely the daily life of many mums in Malaysia and all over the world.
People will always judge you no matter what.
Are you working mum with a 9 to 5 job?
Society will likely accuse you of not being there for your kids.
Are you a stay-at-home mum?
Then they’ll likely ask you why you’re always tired even though you’re at home all day.
Let’s be honest, society has long set impossible demands on mothers.
Women are expected to have careers, but also raise their kids like full-time mums.
Sending your kids to a babysitter or day-care is a cardinal sin.
On the other hand, full-time mums are often judged for not carrying their weight around the house.
The ignorant may even deem them as being lazy.
‘You’re just a housewife, why are you so tired all the time?’
Full-time mums are also expected to be domestic goddesses with clean houses 24/7.
And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault. ~Barbie Movie 2023 #momsoftiktok #momlife #mumlife #motherhood #women #womenoftiktok #womenempowerment #momguilt #barbiemovie #tiktokmom #foryoupage #fyp #spreadlove #kindness #sahm #workingmom
♬ What Was I Made For? [From The Motion Picture “Barbie”] – Billie Eilish
In fact, even having a house that’s too clean does not come without judgement.
In the video, Dina shows how some people will still find fault with perfection.
‘Your poor kids must not be allowed to run around and have fun in such a clean house’.
Icing on the cake?
Society expects women to take care of kids, manage a home, run errands, and fulfil all their motherly duties all while maintaining the ideal feminine figure, perfect skin, and impeccable grooming.
Otherwise, here come all the fat-shaming.
And if you think that’s the extent of society’s cruelty, let’s not forget how people will judge mothers on their parenting too.
‘You let your kids play with smartphones?’
‘You give your kids processed foods?’
Some women get ‘punished’ for not wanting to have kids, and some even more when they do.
When exactly does all this judgement end?
If you find yourself secretly guilty of having any such of the above thoughts, it’s time to change things.
Remember, have some heart.
Us mothers are still humans. And we’re trying our best.
Let’s make the world a kinder place for all mums.
And for the mums who find themselves at the receiving end of these impossible standards, ignore the negative nellies.
Or better yet, cut them out of your life, if possible.
As long as you love your kids and they love you, there is no wrong way to be a mother.
You’ve got this, mummies!
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