Toilet training or potty training is a big and necessary step in your toddler’s development. Save for those with special needs, most toddlers are able to control their bladder and bowels by 18 to 24 months, the time when they would have achieved sufficient physical and cognitive skills to understand instructions or communication and are able to sit walk and run unaided.
Although 18 to 24 months is the average age, age is just a number as they say. Some children may take a little longer due to developmental delay, in which case, you should see the check points below. According to the MyHEALTH portal at our Ministry of Health, here are the indicators to determine if your child is ready.
Note: The reference to the child as he is used to denote both sexes ─ he and she.
Three ways to see if your Toddler is ready to be Toilet Trained
1.Bladder Control
- Is your child able to stay dry for at least two hours or more?
- Does the child know about the need to pass urine (using facial expressions, also watch his legs to see if he is scrunching them to hold the urgent need to pee)
- Is he able to void all his urine at one time or does he still drip?
If you’ve answer yes to all three or at least two out of three, then you are able to start toilet training.
2.Willingness to Cooperate
Can your toddler understand directions and cooperate? Give him simple instructions to see, such as lie down, stand up, put the toy in the box or clap your hands. If your toddler can do this willingly, then he is prepared to be toilet trained.
3.Physical Readiness
- Can your toddler pick up small objects with ease?
- Can your child able to walk/ move around by himself?
- Can your child squat or sit on a bench/seat and balance himself?
- If he is still in diapers, does he ask for a change when he feels uncomfortable after soiling his diapers?
- Has he started showing an interest in wearing underwear instead of diapers?
- Does he ask for privacy or wants to be alone when he needs to move his bowels?
If you’ve answered yes to the above, then your child is able to control his body movements and is aware of his bodily functions.
Are Both of You Ready for Toilet Training?
Toilet-training is not just about his or her readiness but yours as well. Your confidence in yourself and planning ahead-of-time is crucial to the success of the whole operation.
However, no matter how eager you may be, relax. Don’t be too “gan jeong” (excited or anxious) about it, your child will wonder what you’re so wound up about. Instead, plan your moves calmly, devote the time and patience needed and don’t make a big deal about accidents happening. They will happen. It’s all a part of the process.
Remember ─ The key to success is repetition and consistency.
Some Preparations Beforehand
- First, prepare. Observe his timings. How soon after a meal will he usually eliminate? Make a note of that, say, a week beforehand.
- Buy a potty. (But of course!) Better still, take him along to the store and ask him to pick the potty that he likes and explain what it is for. There are many potty designs available. Take him to the section where they display cute ones that he will be able to straddle easily and won’t topple or tip because those are the ones that you should buy. (You can also buy the child toilet seat for placing on the adult commode if you want to save a shopping trip but for the moment, don’t expect him to use the toilet seat by himself until after he “graduates” from his little plastic potty).
- Buy him easy to pull down underwear and pants-type underwear for night time training.
OK, now that you’ve got all your preliminaries, are you ready?
Here’s the 1,2,3 to Toilet Training
1. Get the Language Right: Whistle
In Malaysia we use a method that is known in big terms as “elimination communication” but in simple terms, just means whistling.
Yes, whistling. Elimination communication is like a sound association with an action and whistling seems to work best.
This is how the Vietnamese use the method (see picture above). In the old days, we used to do this too. In Vietnam, and in China too, every time the baby pees, the mother would whistle. After a while, the child will associate the sound of whistling to the command to pee. When the time comes, they put the kid on a potty, whistle, and he will do the rest. The Vietnamese are able to complete toilet training their children by nine months. They don’t use diapers much. Here’s the science-backed research.
Can’t whistle? You should start practicing now because it does take some practice to purse your lips right to make a sound. And don’t worry, you don’t need to whistle in tune or whistle a whole tune, just a single note will do in whatever key you like.
Still can’t whistle? It’s OK, then just say Shee-Shee for the small job and Mmmm Mmmm for the big job or whatever word you think sounds like the elimination job your toddler is doing. Somehow, children seem to know although whistling seems to be the perfect sound to symbolize urinating. It works even if you have not been whistling during your child’s elimination acts before.
2. Show Him How to Remove His/Her Underwear
Before this moment, your toddler was always eliminating in his pants. Now the moment has come when he will have to understand that he needs to remove this underwear first before sitting on the potty. Buy him clothes which are easy to pull down such as elasticized underwear. Show him how he needs to pull down this clothing before he sits at the potty.
3. Bring Out the Potty You Bought
Take out that brand new potty and make it visible by placing it not too far away from the child. In the beginning, don’t put it in the bathroom, it may be too far away for him to make it on time, or worse; since our Malaysian bathrooms tend to be wet and slippery, he might fall, or you might fall while trying to help him.
4.Time Potty Breaks
Remember his timing that you observed earlier? Was it half an hour after meals? Was it 15 minutes? Follow that timing. If it is 15 minutes or immediately after a meal, make him sit on the potty and whistle or say Shee Shee. If he is doing the big job, say Mmm Mmmm and encourage him all the way.
Praise him when he does the required job. Clap your hands, Kiss him, say: What a good boy/girl he/she is!
Praise him also when he is able to tell you he wants to eliminate, and respond quickly. Watch for signs such as such as squirming, squatting or holding the genital area. Sometimes he may not tell you.
Ask him often, say, like every one or two hours, if he would like to go to the toilet. Some Malaysians prefer timing toilet breaks every 15 minutes. He may shake his head as he may be too engrossed playing. Take him to the potty anyway.
Even if your child simply sits there, offer praise for trying — and remind your child that he or she can try again later. Don’t make him sit longer than 10 minutes at the potty. It’s not punishment. Allow him to get up if he or she wants. The point is to associate the potty with elimination time.
Other times for the potty are: First thing in the morning and right after naps.
5.Washing
In Malaysia, we wash rather than wipe. However, it may be difficult for the toddler to attempt this, so in the beginning stages, you will need to help him wash, dry and teach him hygiene too like washing his hands with soap and water.
This is where your toilet seat might come in handy. You can wash him while he sits on the toilet seat. Later on, you can teach your child to use the hand bidet by himself.
6.Boys Sit This Way Too
In the beginning stages, boys should master urination sitting down, just like girls.
7. Night-time Training
Nap and nighttime training may take a little longer to achieve. But if you want to achieve it fast, cut off all liquids and snacks after dinner. Complete one final potty mission before bed and wake your toddler up halfway through the night to pee (set an alarm). Do this for three nights in a row. Encourage him to get up by himself to pee and see if he can do this. Don’t fret if he can’t. Chances are, he can! (Mine did!)
Remember to put his potty next to his bed.
If the night time duty is too tiring for you, then let him wear potty-training pants-type diapers or let him sleep in bed with a waterproof lining and towel underneath. Maintain cutting off the liquids and snacks after dinner to eliminate night time accidents.
After a while, like say a week at most, his diaper will be dry throughout the night. Or you may wake up to find, to your great joy, that he had woken up early in the morning and eliminated in his potty by himself.
Congratulations! You and your child are now on to a diaper-free life.
For more Tips and Tricks, visit Motherhood.com.my