A long-standing buzzword in the beauty and wellness industry, the term ‘self-care’ refers to those restorative activities designed to heal the body, mind and spirit.
There is no shortage of examples when it comes to this practice.
Anything you do to promote and protect your personal wellbeing and happiness (especially during times of distress) is considered an act of self-care, even if you don’t necessarily use that label.
As much as this concept seems foreign or confounding to many of us, self-care has never been a new trend.
From the communal baths of Ancient Greece to the Ayurvedic practices of India that stretch back hundreds of years, the custom of immersing oneself in relaxing activities has always been part of the collective human experience.
But in this modern day and age, self-care is touted as a miracle pill, instead of a way of life. An antidote to burnout, overwork and all the common aches and pains that come with living in the 21st century.
But what self-care has become in recent years is nothing short of problematic, with many using the term as a get-out-of-jail free card. Either to shirk responsibilities, or give in to their self-destructive urges.
What Modern Self-Care Looks Like
Gone are the days of natural, holistic therapeutic healing.
The self-care industry has now become just another cog in the wheel of capitalism, meant to profit off people’s stress and anxiety.
Think sheet masks, fruit smoothies, bubble baths, and yoga poses.
Modern day self-care is in a way mainly about spending money just so you can feel a little better about existing.
It’s a form of problem-solving.
While there’s nothing necessarily wrong with that, it does mean some of us end up being more stressed from performing our intensive self-care rituals. Which sort of defeats the purpose.
However, for many women, particularly mothers, who may be overwhelmed, overworked and stressed out from their responsibilities, self-care is simply a reclamation of identity and time.
So, while there may not be much breadth for elaborate bathroom de-stressing, a glass of wine and good book will usually suffice.
This is the case for many people who resort to quick, inexpensive, and often unconventional methods of self-care. Whether its lighting scented candles, playing with their pets, or just watching some mindless reality TV after a stressful day at the office.
Self-Destructive Self-Care Habits You Need to Kick
Binge-Watching
We all love a little Netflix on the weekends.
But it can get pretty tragic when you spend an entire day in a dark room with the curtains drawn, slouching over a laptop. Imagine the backaches.
But the negative side effects don’t just end with physical repercussions.
You’re constantly flooding your brain with dopamine, which overtime dulls your ability to feel pleasure.
You’ll end up needing and craving more and more of these movies and TV shows just to get your daily dose of bliss.
The fact that you forego social interaction and sunshine (dopamine boosters that are actually healthy for you) is not helping either.
Stress-Eating
Yes, it’s okay to indulge in some decadent food when you’re feeling down.
Cooking, for instance, can be just as therapeutic to some people as the act of enjoying a delicious meal.
But self-care can quickly become self-harm if you start eating more than you’re supposed to.
Now, we’re not asking you to be a diet-crazed health junkie who tracks their calories like a hawk.
But watch how many ‘cheat days’ you give yourself, they may just be your last.
Aggressive Skincare
Yes, those personal bathroom spa days you give yourself can do more harm than good. Especially if you are known to give yourself aggressive skincare rituals.
There is no shortage of skincare tools and tricks in the market. From Gua Sha crystals and facial rollers to LED masks that make you look like Jason Vorhees.
The Korean skincare routine, which rose to popularity just a few years ago involved a total of 10 steps.
There’s no doubt that these steps will give you an initial superficial glow.
However, all the scrubbing and rubbing can’t be all that good for your skin.
Self-Care: Too Much of Good Thing?
From ‘saying no’ to ‘protecting your energy’, self-care has given us an excuse to wriggle ourselves out of any uncomfortable situation.
Yes, you should not hang around toxic people, or feel guilty about having some quality ‘me-time‘.
But you also shouldn’t let opportunities by just because they involve leaving your comfort zone.
This is when self-care unfortunately spirals into self-coddling.
You may avoid accountability and commitment out of fear of sabotaging your mental health.
Yes, life can be miserable and draining and full of disappointments. But to deny yourself new experiences, new challenges and new connections is such a waste of potential.
Self-care is not just about indulgence; it can also be about growth, community and other earth-shattering but positive acts of self-transformation and betterment.
Treat Yourself (Mindfully)
Self-care rituals, despite being fun and, yes, often very rejuvenating, rarely have long-term or cumulative effects.
As soon as you return to the cycle of burnout and overwork, all the superficial benefits you gained go out the window.
Goodbye dewy skin, hello nasty zits.
Without addressing the underlying factors of your stress, self-care is just another band-aid you keep using over and over again in the hopes that the problem will go away on its own.
If you’re still feeling tired and depleted even after all your self-care rituals, then you may need to change your concept of rest. Because sleep is just the tip of the iceberg.
Self-care looks good on the surface, but don’t forget to truly nourish the parts of you that need extra tender loving care. Even if it’s as simple as getting off social media, turning off your phone and spending the day outside in the sun.
Disclaimer: The information provided in this article is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as medical advice from Motherhood. For any health-related concerns, it is advisable to consult with a qualified healthcare professional or medical practitioner.
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