The battle of the sexes has been going on for centuries.
Boys are supposedly stronger but too aggressive, while girls are said to be smarter but too emotional.
When it comes to parenthood, a husband and wife may each have their own preferences when it comes to the gender of the baby.
Some may even go so far as to keep trying until they conceive a child with the gender of their choice.
But does it really matter if you’re expecting a boy or girl? When it comes to which gender is better, here are the actual facts.
Why Are Some Parents Obsessed with the Gender of their Baby?
From dietary changes to fertility superstitions, humans have resorted to many dubious practices to influence the sex of their baby.
In many traditional Asian cultures, for instance, having a son may mean good fortune and wealth and having a girl is ‘bad luck’.
But even among modern families, gender preferences are rampant. With one or both parents preferring one gender over the other when it comes to their unborn baby.
However you rarely see mothers have that much of a problem with their baby’s gender so much as the dads.
The ones who usually want to ‘try again’, more often for a boy, will be the father.
This is not only unfair to the female partner, who has to actually go through another pregnancy, it is also harmful to the previous child(ren) who may believe they are unwanted or unworthy of their parents’ love.
Moreover, ‘trying again’ can be futile because it’s all genetic.
This study found that the amount of sons and daughters a couple has depends primarily on the father’s side.
If a man has more sisters than brothers (or only sisters) the chances he will have a son are slim to none.
The Parenthood Dream
Many parents may have romanticised the idea of raising sons and daughters.
Mums may dream about the tea parties and playing dress-up with their mini-me. Dads may look forward to teaching their little man how to play catch or ride a bicycle for the first time.
This is human nature, we desire those tender moments that cement our identity as the parents we want to become.
So, what happens when the baby comes and it’s not what you’re hoping for?
There is some level of narcissism as well in all of this.
We see so much of ourselves in our kids. We beam with pride anytime our sons or daughters mimic our traits or habits.
We look for our features and quirks in their complexions and mannerisms.
But to prefer one gender over the other really undervalues the entire concept of parenthood.
Here’s why parenting is about so much more than the gender of your baby.
Why Your Baby’s Gender Doesn’t Matter
The Miracle of Life
Take a second to really contemplate exactly what it takes to build a human from scratch. Beyond intercourse, beyond conception.
A woman’s body goes through a literal transformation to create flesh and bones and hearts and lungs. Alchemy. Magic.
I think if all parents embrace this miraculous process, they’d have a much deeper appreciation for their baby.
Gender suddenly becomes secondary. While fathers may not be able to relate as much to this experience, mothers know it intimately.
Gender Norms Are Disappearing
The younger generation is becoming less and less concerned about traditional gender norms.
No matter how much you may try to drum them into your kids, they will always find a way to challenge or break those stereotypes.
Boys may wear makeup and become fashion designers now, and girls may have short hair and play extreme sports.
Instead of trying again and again for the gender that you want, embrace your current child for who they are. And don’t impose expectations on them solely based on their sex.
If your son wants to have tea parties, buy them all the tea sets they want. If your daughter wants to play sports, enrol them in a team.
Parenthood Is a Privilege
People have children for many reasons.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting your own biological family. But doing so comes with a lot of responsibility and a lot of privilege.
With the rise of living costs and inflation, fewer and fewer people are becoming parents.
On the other hand, those who can afford children may suffer from a slew of fertility issues that make it impossible for them to conceive.
So, remember, the fact that you’re able to afford a child, or even have a child at all is a miracle on its own. What gender they are should be the least of your worries.
Providing for their growth, education, and happiness is the only thing that matters at the end of the day. Not how you can live vicariously through your kids, or how your kids can fulfil your parenthood dreams.
Girl Vs Boy: Both Wins!
Gender is the tip of the iceberg when it comes to having a baby.
Yes, those essential parenting milestones are important for building a bond. And there are certain experiences that you may never have with your child simply due to gender differences.
Fathers with deeply embedded toxic masculinity may have trouble bonding with their daughters as a result. This is why its so important for married couples to truly heal their generational trauma before becoming parents.
Everyone is amazing and gifted in their own way, even those who who are non-binary, genderfluid or agender. There is more to a child than their birth-assigned sex. You simply have to be willing to see it. Congratulations on being a parent to your wonderful child!
Disclaimer: The information provided in this article is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as medical advice from Motherhood. For any health-related concerns, it is advisable to consult with a qualified healthcare professional or medical practitioner.
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