“My daughter Surutii is the reason I have the will to survive despite everything cancer has thrown at me,” says Radha Nadarajan, a 46 year old mother and multiple time breast cancer survivor from Penang.
Since 2015, when she found out she had the HER2-Positive breast cancer, Radha has had to endure two risky surgeries—the first for a total left breast mastectomy while she was three months pregnant, and the second to remove the lymph nodes while she was seven months pregnant, gestational diabetes with having to take insulin, two separate rounds of hard-hitting chemotherapy after the pregnancy—the latest one because the cancer had spread to her liver and lungs, hospitalisation for three weeks with painful chest-tubing because she developed pneumonia and finally, yet another surgery to remove her fallopian tubes and ovaries so that she could go on a post-menopausal drug to stop cancer recurrence.
And as if all of this was not harsh enough, her husband also left her.
“But when I see my daughter’s face,” says Radha, “no matter how hard and painful my treatments are, I always tell myself—someone is hoping for me, someone depends on me—I must overcome these challenges so that I can be there for her. She gives me the will and the strength to survive.”
Radha recalls: “When I first knew that I had cancer in 2015, and I was three months pregnant at the time, the first thing I thought of was—How long will I survive? Can I live for the next seven months because I just want to deliver my baby safely and give her to my husband.”
This then, is the moving story of love between a mother and her daughter and the will to fight cancer no matter what it takes so that she can live on for her child.
1. Please tell us about yourself and how you discovered your breast cancer. You were also three months pregnant at the time?
Radha: My name is Radha Nadarajan. I work as a court interpreter and I live in Nibong Tebal, Penang. I am 46 years old. I got married when I was 39 and was pregnant at 40. When I was going for the normal prenatal checkup, the doctor suggested I go for an ultrasound as I have a history of cysts and fibroids in my breast.
At the ultrasound on 2nd June, 2015, the doctors found something in my left breast near the nipple. They suggested I go for a biopsy on that day itself. But it was already past 5pm at the time so I went home instead. Before I left the hospital, they told me it was probably cancer.
When I went home, I told my husband and my siblings what the doctor said but everybody reassured me it wouldn’t be cancer. They told me not to be scared and to remain calm.
2. How did you have the cancer confirmed? Which hospital did you go to?
Radha: The doctors gave me an appointment for the biopsy for the following week but I couldn’t wait and on the 4th of June, I went to Lam Wah Ee private hospital in Penang and did my biopsy there.
Then on 11th June 2015, while I was still at work, the doctor called and told me that it was cancer and that I should come back to Lam Wah Ee for follow-up treatment.
I was so shocked by the news that I shared with my colleagues what the doctor had confirmed. I could still hold my composure in the office but I immediately called my husband and my family and told them the bad news.
When I went home that evening, I locked myself inside the room and cried and cried for a few days.
I went back to Lam Wah Ee on the 14th of June. The doctor again confirmed that the lump was cancerous but as I was three months pregnant at the time, and could not do chemotherapy, they suggested I do a total mastectomy to save the baby.
I agreed immediately. The next day, on 15th June, I did the mastectomy. The only thing that was on my mind was to save the baby, my daughter.
3. How did you recover from the mastectomy? How did you take care of the healing while dealing with the discomforts of pregnancy?
Radha: The surgery itself was a success. After I was discharged, I rested for a few days but I told myself I cannot hope for my husband or anyone to take care of me as he was working too and my siblings are not in Penang. One thing about me is—I am a positive thinker and I am a very independent person. I always say to myself—I can do it.
4. How was the pregnancy progressing at this time?
Radha: During pregnancy I was diabetic and was on insulin but I made sure I ate a lot of vegetables and protein. My wounds healed very fast. I didn’t have any problems during the pregnancy.
5. Motherhood: How was it that you had to do another surgery while being heavily pregnant at seven months? Wasn’t it risky?
Radha: During my prenatal checkups, I told the doctor that I had removed my breast because I had cancer.
He requested to see the medical report from the private hospital and referred me to oncology. When I met the oncologist, they found that the private hospital did not remove my lymph nodes. They said I must remove the lymph nodes and they fixed a date for the surgery.
At the time I was already 28 weeks pregnant, or 7 months.
They told my husband and me that the mother’s life is more important than the baby’s. They asked my husband to sign a consent form for the surgery and he did.
6. So another surgery was performed when you were seven months pregnant? What were your feelings at that time? Were you afraid that it might affect the pregnancy?
Radha: With another surgery looming ahead, all I could think of at the time was—I must deliver this baby. I am confident she will be safe. If anything happens to me, my husband will have the baby.
So I went in to remove my lymph nodes. A few hours after the surgery, the baby started to move again and I remember all the doctors and nurses in the ward were very happy for me. The lymph node removal never affected my arms or hand. There was no numbness and I recovered very fast.
7. How was the birth? Did the cancer or surgeries affect the birth or baby in any way? How is your daughter today?
Radha: Since I was 40 years old at the time, and being diabetic and having cancer, the gynae suggested I go for a Caesarian birth but I asked him if I could go for a normal birth and he said yes. So I went for a normal birth.
The cancer never affected the baby. My daughter, Surutii is a normal child. She is 6 years old today and going for pre-primary school.
8. Did you go for chemotherapy after the birth? How was the experience? Did you have many side effects?
Radha: Since my lymph nodes were found to be clear, oncology told me I didn’t have to go for chemotherapy. They told me to take the hormone Tamozifen. I was on this hormone from December 2015 to October 2018.
9. We heard 2018 was a tumultuous year for you. How did you know the cancer had spread to the lungs and liver in 2018?
Radha: In April 2018, the oncologist advised me to remove my fallopian tubes and ovaries so as to bring on early menopause. Then he started me on Femara hormone pills to stop the cancer from spreading. I did the surgery in Hospital Seberang Jaya.
As I was also going for my medical checkup in the same year, it was found that the tumour marker was found to be a bit high. I brought the result to the Penang General Hospital and at the ultrasound, they found something in my liver. They suggested a CT Scan which I went for in October and there they found the cancer had spread to my lungs and liver.
So oncology suggested I go for chemotherapy. My chemo cycles started in November2018. At the time my daughter was only 3 years old. I handled everything by myself. In the morning I would drive her to the baby sitter and after chemo, I would fetch her home. Then I would have a good rest.
Also, during the chemo period, my husband left me. He left because of my cancer. My husband leaving me was another big shock that I had to overcome.
Even though the chemo journey was very hard and very painful with a lot of side effects, but because of my daughter, I pushed myself to manage it.
As I have mentioned, I am always in positive mind. My daughter only has me.
Every time I see her face, I will tell myself, I must overcome this chemo, I must do it and that was how I pushed myself to complete my six cycles of chemo by March 2019. After the chemo, I went straight back to work.
10. Being so young, does your daughter know or understand what is happening?
Radha: My daughter understands. When she was only 4, I used to tell her, Amma has to go for chemo, Amma has to go to hospital. No matter how long I had to be away, she would wait for me.
She is the one who gave me strength to fight against cancer. If it wasn’t for her, maybe I would have given up my life. But because of her, I put one step in front of the other and keep on moving.
Now she is 6 years old. She is very helpful. She will help me bring the medicine, she will help me bring the food, she really understands.
11. Then what happened in early 2021? How did you know the cancer was back?
Radha: This year in January, I started coughing and coughing and then got fever and difficulty breathing. I went to the hospital and they said my pulse had dropped. Then in February, they admitted me because they found I had pneumonia. I was admitted for three weeks.
Then they inserted a chest tube to drain fluids in my lungs. It was very painful. I had to lie down on the bed for more than one week. I was not allowed to move, I could not take my shower, or do anything. It was so painful I almost gave up.
The hospital also did not allow any visitors as there was strict COVID SOPs to follow. But the isolation—that was another part I could not bear. I could not see my daughter. I sent her to stay with my brother. Everyday I would call her. I missed her so much. I decided that I MUST get well and go back because of this girl.
My daughter does not like to show her emotions. Even though I would video call her everyday and she would talk but she would avoid seeing me. When she was there with my brother, she hid her feelings. The moment I came home, she ran to me and she hugged and cried. She said: Do u know how much I miss you? Everyday I would pray that you will come home. Every night before I sleep, I would cry. But Aunty and Uncle don’t know. I never told them. When she told me this, it really broke my heart.
12. What happened after you got well from pneumonia? Did you have to do chemo again?
Radha: After three weeks, my lungs improved. After I was discharged from the hospital, they told me to go for a CT Scan, and it showed that my lungs and liver were now fully affected. So I had to do chemo again. It started this year on 6th April, and I completed it on 23rd July.
This time chemo was very terrible. It really affected me. Until now I can feel the numbness, I have no more strength like the last time. My fingers and my feet are still very numb. I have to return to work this month (October) but I really don’t know how I am going to start work. However, I must do so because of my daughter.
13. Is the cancer gone now? How did you fit in chemo while having to take care of your daughter?
Radha: After the chemo the doctor said there was a lot of improvement. In August 2021, I was put on a new drug Aromasin to stop cancer recurrence. The doctor also said the earlier hormones Tamozifen and Femara did not work for me.
For both chemotherapies, in 2018 as well as 2021, I would drive myself to hospital and then, no matter how weak I felt after that, I would drive back. On chemo day I would prepare everything and send my daughter to the tadika and after that, fetch her back.
For me—love can make miracles. Because of my daughter, I can overcome everything.
During the first week of chemo, I was so drained that I really must lie down but when I see my daughter’s face, I tell myself—someone is hoping for me, someone is depending on me, so I must do something for her. I will try to cook, then we eat together and spend nice moments together.
14. I am sure your breast cancer journey has changed you and your outlook of life. What message or advice would you like to tell women going through cancer right now?
Radha: I really thank God and thank the support from my friends, and my family. In return, I also support other cancer patients by visiting them to motivate them. I want them to think, if Radha can, why can’t I?
In my mind, I always tell myself, I will survive until I am 80 years old and I will carry my grandchild.
For others going through the cancer journey, I want to say—Love can create miracles. Be positive!
For me, I want to stay happy every moment of my life and so I am doing that. I read the book, The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. It’s about the law of attraction. What you think about is what will come into your life. That’s why I am always positive and I avoid negative thoughts. I always find my way to be happy. People who see me cannot tell I have cancer because I am always smiling.
One of the most stoic and determined cancer survivors ever, Radha’s story is an inspiration to all cancer patients. Love conquers all, as she says. She thanks her daughter endlessly for giving her the reason to take on all of life’s adversities and to triumph over them one by one.
For more real life stories of a mother’s love and how that love drives her on to overcome every challenge, be motivated by Motherhood.com.my.