Stress is a part of everyday life, but how much stress is too much?
For parents, the added pressure of career, domestic responsibilities, marriage and of course, childrearing, can easily create added stress.
We sat down for a chat with Dr Sylvia Wong Tyng Yng, General Psychiatrist at Harmony Specialist Clinic to learn more about the symptoms, consequences and causes of stress and how parents can find relief.
Q1: Why is stress relief important for parents’ health?
Stress is a very present part of life. Knowing how to cope with stress in a healthy way not only promotes better adjustment and happiness in parents themselves, but also models and promotes the formation of important, and healthy habits and skills in children.
Q2: What are some common causes of stress among parents?
Generally speaking, all the other stresses in life would affect parents as well—finances, work, health issues, etc.
However, parenting itself can be the number one stress factor for many parents—many people are unprepared for the entire lifestyle shift that happens when people become parents.
And many people are also unprepared for the challenges of parenting.
Besides making sure the child is fed and physically safe, there are also all those things we need to teach our children, which is part of disciplining.
Disciplining children can be very stressful, especially if we ourselves didn’t have good parenting or family role models.
Q3: What are some symptoms of stress people may overlook?
This is kind of a loaded question as there are a few types of stress, including acute stress or chronic, individual stress or as a group.
But in general, stress, particularly if prolonged, can cause changes in our emotions, physical symptoms and also some behavioural problems.
Some examples of changes in emotions caused by prolonged stress, could be:
- Irritability
- Persistent low mood
- Overburdened or overwhelmed
- Constant anxiety or worry
- Feeling neglected and lonely
Some examples of physical signs of stress could be:
- Headaches
- Lower back pain or other muscle tension that are not caused by mechanical reasons
- Jaw pain—from subconsciously clenching your jaw
- Digestive complaints
- Poor sleep
- Constant fatigue
And some behavioural changes might be:
- Finding it hard to concentrate or make decisions
- Difficulty remembering
- Eat too much or too little
- Sleep too much (or too little)
Q4: At what point does stress require immediate medical intervention?
You will require immediate medical intervention if there are thoughts or plans or impulsive acts that harm yourself or others.
But please try to seek help before this stage is reached.
If at any point the stress has been going on for too long and you feel that you are not able to function at your optimum, whether at home or at work—that would be the time to start seeking help.
Q5: How might stress impact parent-child relationships at home?
Stress could cause parents to become less responsive and loving towards the child.
Even if the parent is good at dealing with stress, if stress levels are just frequently high and persistent, tempers could snap.
And the worst-case scenario, is if the parent takes the stress and anger out on the child.
If the child is stressed, the child could also respond in ways that may be discourteous and uncooperative, which would further compound the parents’ stress.
This could also lead to a distorted parental viewpoint of the child’s behaviour (E.g., the child is purposely doing this to me when I am stressed; vs – the child is dysregulated and needs help getting regulated).
Long-term poor parental coping of stress (via arguments, fights, punishments to the children) has been proven to cause long-term negative consequences in children, both mentally and physically.
Q6: What are some effective stress relief techniques?
- Recognise the signs: Try to let out those stressful feelings of frustration or tension before dealing with your loved ones.
- Get active: This helps to maintain a good neurochemical balance for overall health and positive emotions. You may also do some physical activities when you are stressed (like going for a walk or jog) at the moment.
- Eat healthily: There are certain foods that promote good mental health and happiness. Aside from that, eating a balanced and nutritional diet can help to keep you in optimum physical help which can also boost your mood.
- Avoid unhealthy habits: These include smoking, drinking alcohol, etc.
- Meditate, journal or pray: During meditation, journaling or prayer, you focus your attention and quiet the stream of jumbled thoughts that may be crowding your mind and causing stress. Meditation, journaling and prayer can instil a sense of calm, peace and balance that can benefit both your emotional wellbeing and your overall health. Guided meditation, guided imagery, visualisation and other forms of meditation can be practiced anywhere at any time, whether you’re out for a walk, riding the bus to work or waiting at the doctor’s office. You can also try deep breathing anywhere.
- Laugh more: Not only laugh at the point you are stressed, but try to build this up as a habit. Read or tell some jokes, watch some funny videos and movies.
- Connect with others: When you’re stressed and irritable, your instinct may be to isolate yourself. Instead, reach out to family and friends and make social connections. Social contact is a good stress reliever because it offers distraction and provides support to tolerate life’s up and downs. Take a coffee break with a friend, email a relative or visit your place of worship. If you have free time, consider volunteering for a charitable group and help yourself while helping others.
Q7: What are some examples of bad ways to cope with stress?
As mentioned earlier, more smoking or drinking alcohol. Sleeping excessively and completely trying to avoid facing the problems could compound the issues as well.
Q8: Is medication ever prescribed for stress? And if so, what are they?
Medication should not be prescribed for only ‘stress’ per se.
However, if stress has been persistent and prolonged, and caused a lot of persistent emotional distress and disturbance in functioning, it can cause mental health problems such as depression and/or anxiety.
Medications for these conditions (or other forms of mental health disorders) are often effective and safe.
Q9: How can struggling individuals cope with overwhelming stress?
If you feel like it is too much to handle, it would be good to speak to a mental health professional about your struggles and concerns.
If you do not know where to access one, you may go to a GP who can refer you to the relevant specialists.
Q10: Where can parents go for medical advice to manage their stress?
In the Malaysian healthcare system, medical advice can be obtained from the government sector or the private sector.
Affordability will vary depending on the household income.
For those who are unable to afford treatment in the private sector, you may go to the nearest Klinik Kesihatan.
After being seen by the doctor, the doctor will refer you either to the clinic’s counsellor, or to the nearest hospital with psychiatric services.
Source: Dr Sylvia Wong Tyng Yng, General Psychiatrist at Harmony Specialist Clinic
Disclaimer: The information provided in this article is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as medical advice from Motherhood. For any health-related concerns, it is advisable to consult with a qualified healthcare professional or medical practitioner.
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