Nothing kills the holiday mood faster than a screaming, crying child.
But what exactly is it about holidays and celebrations that make kids go absolutely bonkers?
While there aren’t any definite statistics on whether kids really do misbehave more during the holidays than on any other day of the year, we can all agree that some children do.
Here are some theories.
Holidays Meltdowns and Misbehaviour
It can be hard to wrap your head around why some children can be so unbearable during the holiday season. There’s food, festivities and full of fun all around—all the things that should make kids happy.
However, it’s not so surprising when you really think about it. Any number of factors could be responsible for why kids misbehave.
But in general, there are two ways a child may misbehave during the holidays: being naughty and throwing tantrums.
Naughtiness
If you have a mischievous little gremlin on your hands during the holidays then here are a few possible reasons why.
If your child is extra naughty, it usually may mean they’re either curious, excited or ignored. They may tend to be a bit more hyperactive, not following rules, disobeying orders, etc. Especially since they’re reuniting with cousins and having lots of fun.
According to Stephanie Jones, professor of early childhood development, misbehaviour is a way for children to test boundaries and learn how the world around them works.
If they’re in an unfamiliar environment, such as in the house of a relative or friend that they have not met, they’ll want to explore much of their new surroundings as possible.
And this usually means touching ornaments, decorations, souvenirs and any other fragile object that happens to be put on display. This, to an adult, can seem like ‘naughty behaviour’.
In some cases, wreaking holiday havoc may also be a form of attention-seeking. Parents can be super preoccupied with holiday preparations or just catching up with relatives and friends, but their children may feel neglected.
So, if your child is misbehaving it may just mean they want to be included in the conversation.
Tantrums
On the other end of the spectrum is tantrums, which is often rooted in anxiety or stress. This means crying or screaming, or otherwise not being a good sport.
Your child will either want to go home or leave, or ask you for something. This usually means they are overstimulated, bored or just tired.
According to Dr. Kevin Kathrotia, a neonatologist and paediatrician, overstimulation isn’t just experienced by babies, but older children as well. It is when the child experiences more stimuli than they are able handle or are used to.
For example, if you’ve been on the road for a long time during your holiday travels, your child may also not enjoy suddenly arriving at a strangers’ house.
To children, a relative that you only visit once a year may still very much be a stranger to them. This is why children are uncomfortable at relatives’ houses, especially if there aren’t any kids around for them to play with. Or worse, if their cousins are bullies.
It can be equally as frustrating when your kids are expected to be perfect little angels around. Which is a tough act to keep up even if your child is generally well-behaved.
But don’t expect them to sit still, mind their manners, and obey the adults all day. All of that can be extremely boring to a child.
In case the untoward happens, here’s how you can minimise the meltdowns and have a stress-free family holiday.
How to Minimise the Holiday Mischief
Interview your Toddler
If your child is a notorious holiday mischief-maker than let them know what’s about to go down.
Some parents may use the fear tactic, where they scare their kids in advance to avoid them misbehaving. But this can be demeaning.
Instead, treat them like adults. Ask them what they want to do for the holidays and try to fit it in with your own family plans.
Plan Your Holiday Schedule
If your child makes it plain and clear that they hate going to so-and-so’s house, then try to avoid going to that relative’s house.
Or conversely, ask them to visit your house this time around. This way your child can easily slip away into their rooms if they feel overstimulated.
But of course, you can’t always predict what may happen. A relative may spontaneously invite you out of the blue, for one thing.
If so, you have the choice of either taking the kids with you or hiring a babysitter.
Avoid Public Shaming
Kids remember what we do to them. And you don’t want your kids to remember you as a bully.
So, don’t publicly humiliate, punish or hit them when they act out.
Kids usually have very few tools to express their emotions. For example, if they’re frustrated, they may throw tantrums or cry.
It’s important in these instances to take them somewhere private where they can unwind and de-stress. Away from the glare of the public eye.
Manage Your Expectations
We all love to keep up pretences. But children don’t understand adult concepts of maintaining appearances or faking it till you make it.
Yes, it’s important to be well-behaved at another person’s house. But, when possible, consider to loosen the reins a bit.
And minimise the time you spend at a relative’s house. Even grown-up children dislike being kept somewhere against their wills for long periods of time.
Give Them Coping Tools
Sometimes kids, just like adults, need something to pass the time. If you feel your kids are starting to slip into tantrum town, offer them a distraction; and please try to avoid the iPad trick.
Try incorporating some enriching distractions instead of screentime. Like books. Or if you’re at someone else’s house, ask if the host has any board games or puzzles.
Have a Mayhem-Free Holiday
Holidays can sometimes bring out the worst in some kids. But let’s be honest, it’s not really their fault.
It’s important to remember that kids don’t enjoy having tantrums any more than the parents who have to deal with them. Kids get easily overstimulated or bored, so it’s best to keep visits short and sweet.
It’s also important to not stress yourself out either with the holiday preparations. Sometimes kids may act out in response to their parents’ emotional states.
But understanding why your kids are throwing tantrums (or being naughty) is how you solve the problem at the root.
And with Christmas around the corner, there’s no better time to ensure your kids enjoy the festive season—whilst not ruining it for everybody else either.
Happy Holidays to all our readers, with love from Motherhood!
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