Whether you already have a family or you are on the road of having one, there is nothing wrong in knowing how to have a happy family. Although there is no such thing as one size fits all types of advice, there is still nothing wrong with knowing the basic of having a happier and healthier family. Who doesn’t want a stress-free, healthy and happy family, right? But don’t be bummed if the parenting plan you solely focused on does not work. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t. Patience is a virtue. Nobody said building a family is easy. It’s easier said than done. If you have heard other parents of mothers or even fathers boast about their parenting skills, don’t trust them. They are probably dying inside too. And they probably needed our help too. So, without further ado, this is the happy family guideline from yours truly.
Happy Family Guideline #1: Fun Loving Environment
We have talked about how eating together maintain the family’s bond, lessen the chances of child eating disorder and depressions. But if having a meal together means a strict, formal, asking about grades, we don’t think it’s going to be a very “fun” mealtime afterall. So instead of a rigid mealtime, create a fun ways of having meals together. Play games, swap stories, bucket list, whatever it takes to take the tension out from a long day.
Friday Night Games:
It’s true. The movies you watch where every Friday night they have a game night are true. They have that as a routine and you should too. Even when your children reluctantly agree. That’s what they will remember the most when they grow up and have their own family later. And some pro tip? Be the cool parents. Invite their friends too. But please don’t embarrass them, even though that’s our jobs as parents. Set up a basketball court, stock up snacks and let your children’s friends come over. And at the same time, you can know them personally. It’s a win-win situation.
Happy Family Guideline #2: Maintain Marital Bliss
Fire that spark again:
If a movie date night doesn’t sound that appealing to you, try a different kind of date. A movie date night can sound a bit too young for married couples who already have four to five kids. But that doesn’t mean you have to stop spending time without the screaming and the bickering at the back. Once in a while, you should go out just the two of you. Try signing up for a class together. Go for a stroll in the park. Take a horse carriage ride in Putrajaya at night. It’s okay to spend time just the two of you.
Put your romance first:
Whatever you have, how many children you have, put your marriage first. Do not ignore and neglect it. Don’t ever put your marriage aside. Your children may be your world, but your partner is the reason they happen. So put your romance first. Maintain the love making. Schedule it. Have fun together. While it’s fun to have kids, don’t forget the one that brought you the family together.
Happy Family Guideline #3: Be Strict, Not Mean
Being a firm parent and a mean parent is two different things. It’s okay to be firm and strict, when you need to be. But being a mean parent where your child will most likely be afraid of you instead of having a respect for you is not a good thing. You want to earn the respect, not cause fear.
Consistent in disciplining:
If you discipline your first child to maintain good grades, then you have to be consistent to other siblings too. Correct,every child differs from the others. But, the rules apply to one, does not mean it only applies to one. They all need to have the same curfew, the same rules and the same kind of discipline. A good morale starts from the parents. Remember that.
Happy Family Guideline #4: Small Stuff Means Don’t Sweat It
Don’t raise your voice:
This is hard to do, but don’t raise your voice to your kids. Unless if you really need to. You don’t need to constantly raise your voice when your child make mistakes. So what? Even you make mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. Just let your children know that what they did was wrong and if they need to be punished, then punish them, not torture or torment them.
Don’t sweat over small things:
Small stuff like one pair of socks are gone. Or no one washes the dishes. Or they get hungry too often. Why stress over the small stuff? Find solutions instead. So the socks keep on missing? Attach the socks together after you washed them. Or put them into a basket so everyone can find their pair on their own. No one washes the dishes? Put up a schedule and make them take turns. They get hungry too often? Then make (or buy) snacks that make them full for long hours.