Is there any recommendable \u201chow to live with your mother-in-law\u201d book around? Cause I live under the same roof with my mine.\r\n\r\nWhen I got married, 3 people gave me 3 difference advice. Two were good, the other one is something I wouldn\u2019t recommend.\r\n\r\n \t\r\nTreat her like how you would treat your own mother.\r\n\r\n\r\nLet\u2019s start with the worse advice: treat her like how you would treat your own mother. Hahahahahaha\u2026 So let me think, requesting my mother-in-law (MIL) to make me milo and tuck me to bed? Unlikely. Do you think I dare to sleep til 11am in my MIL\u2019s house? I dare you! Telling my MIL that I\u2019m so tired I don\u2019t feel like doing anything today? No. Well, the fact is, my mom is my mom, if I treat my MIL as how I treat my mom, it would be rude because she is not my mom. Looking at the way my husband treats his mom, erm\u2026 er\u2026 I think I should be in my best behaviour so that I do not embarrass my mom. I would be lying if I say it was not stressful. She is a stranger who became my family. I don\u2019t know her well yet. How la?\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \t\r\nHer intention is always good.\u00a0\r\n\r\n\r\nSecond advice: even when you do not agree with her way, remember that her intention is always good.\r\n\r\nI remember pouring out to my friend about how my mother-in-law did this and that and said this and that. My mother-in-law and I have different ways of raising children, we have a different stand on breastfeeding, children food and medication, discipline and reward etc. My friend patiently listened to all my complaints, after which she said the only way to make the situation better is to stop looking at things from only one perspective \u2013 my perspective. Look from her point of view: Why is she doing that? Because she loves her grandchildren as much as I love my children. Why is she doing that? Because that was how she did it and that\u2019s the only way she knew. Why is she doing that? She was trying to help, else she won\u2019t care. I was advised to keep in mind that her intention is never to harm her grandchildren. With that, I became kinder in my words and communicated better without being emotional and easily offended all the time.\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nI see many new moms venting their frustration in FB groups. Well, I think there\u2019s nothing wrong with that. Sometimes, that is what keeps many sane. I\u2019m just wondering is there any MIL support group where the MILs would go: \u201cDid you know what my foolish daughter-in-law did?\u201d \u201cMy DIL is worse!\u201d \u201cShe\u2019s young. She would know later.\u201d Maybe 20 or 30 years down the road, we will be the ones uttering those words. I don\u2019t know about your MIL, but my MIL. After 6 years knowing her, she is the type who hides her pain and suffering. Where are her friends? A few of her friends died, the other few are in a nursery home. Who could she confine to? Hmmm\u2026 maybe your MIL can be my MILs friend.\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \t\r\nBe nice to your Mother-in-Law\u00a0\r\n\r\n\r\nLast advice was from my mother: BE NICE to your MIL, you are living with her now. Not me. \r\n\r\nI give money to my mother every month. She told me to give some money to my mother-in-law as well. So I did. I bought chicken essence for my mom. She asked me to get some for my mother-in-law too. I complied. My mom said:\u201d Your MIL is the one taking care of you and your children now. Appreciate her and be nice to her. Take care of each other.\u201d \u201cOkay Mommy, I\u2019ll do what you say.\u201d \r\n\r\nNope, there\u2019s no happily ever after here. After 6 years, my MIL and I still have disagreements but the feeling is different now because there\u2019s better communication, understanding and appreciation. Nope, I don\u2019t hug my MIL. Do you?