Modern parenting is very different from traditional or helicopter parenting. This method is where you treat your kids like friends while balancing between being not too strict and too lenient. Traditional parenting may be one which is overly strict and the helicopter parenting is one where you spoil your child by doing every little thing for them.
This parenting method is a balance between the other two. Now what do we mean by being not too strict and not too lenient? You can achieve that by playing around with them like friends but also be strict to them when need be.
It is important to establish a limit in which your child is aware not to cross or they will have certain consequences to face. This is one way to prevent unacceptable behaviour in your child. The method is also effective in preventing a child from growing up being spoiled.
Your child will grow up knowing that their parents are not crazy strict but will also know when not to cross boundaries. This way, they can learn and respect you instead of fearing you. They will be aware of what they are supposed and not supposed to do.
It would be best to be encouraging instead of pressuring your child to do well in their studies. Not everyone is good at studying and when your child isn’t doing so well, let them know that it’s alright to fail sometimes. Help them out by encouraging them to do their best to learn and improve. Being a friend to them would give them the confidence to confide in you if they ever have anything troubling them without having the constant fear of letting you down.
When you firmly set an expectation for them to meet and punish them when they don’t do so, that will not make them magically become smarter. A child going through that kind of pressure will either give up or search for unethical ways to meet the expectation such as through cheating.
Never let them grow up thinking that acing academically is everything. If studying really isn’t their strength, it is good enough if they put effort and hard work into trying their best. It is vital to stress that effort is the key to improvement. The point is for children to understand that studies is important but it is not everything.
It is undeniable that children and adults both alike are all addicted to smart devices these days. It can be good to use this interest as an opportunity to bond by joining them in their games or watching their favourite Youtube videos with them once in a while.
However, as parents, it is normal to fear for the wellbeing of the children when they have no self-control when it comes to spending time on these devices. What you can do to limit their access to these things in a reasonable way is by establishing some rules.
For example, no phones during meal time and no screen time one hour before going to bed. You let them have the freedom of enjoying their time on their gadgets and at the same time let them know when not to cross the limit.
For them to understand why you do what you do better, tell them that it is extremely harmful to spend too much time on these things. Let them know that you care for them, which is why you’re limiting their access time. Upon knowing this, they may be more willing to listen to you and go by your rules.
Set Good Example
Be the kind of person you want your child to be. If you tell them that smoking is not good but do it yourself, the contradicting action will not teach your kids to behave how you want them to. This will only cause them to have thoughts such as ‘If you can do it, why can’t I?’
It is important to practice what you preach. If you tell them that swearing or saying bad words is not good, make sure not to use foul language when you’re in front of them. Always keep in mind that children are always watching and listening to what we do.
This applies in all aspects as it would not be reasonable to expect something from your child if you can’t achieve or do it yourself. If you want them to respect and look up to you, you will have to give them a reason to do so. It shouldn’t only be due to the reason that you’re the parent.
After all, if you’re treating them like friends, you wouldn’t want to be a bad influence on them now, do you? Parents worry when their kids mix with the wrong kind of people, but what if you happen to be the bad friend in their life?
All in all, there is no right way to parent your child. Whatever method you use, what matters is that you do it out of love to raise them into decent people.
For more parenting advice and tips, please visit Motherhood.com.my.