You were at your child’s age once and we are sure you’ve heard your parents fling words at you they never meant. Every parent does because we are just human who sometimes say things in the heat of the moment. Or when we are too tired from work and life. But even so, we think that we should not do this as a habit and control ourselves even if life gets too busy. Words are stronger than and rather sharper. Your children absorb the words coming from your mouth faster than you think. The words you said can stay in their little minds and affects the way they navigate through time. Words cut deeper than knife does, parents. Keep in mind that one word you left in your child’s mind can affect the way he/she behave and think through time.
“I told you so.”
We often say this phrase when they did something you have told them “no” to. But we can’t help it, can we? The urge to say it is too high, but keep it in! If you hate it when your boss says, “I told you so”, how does it feel? Affected? Annoyed? Hurt? That’s how the mind works and same as your child are because we often say, “I told you so” with a tone of condescending or icy. Our body language and face expressions tell everything your child needs to know, and that you are being sarcastic and condescending.
Is it wrong to cry? Is it wrong to let out what you’re feeling? Is it wrong to be sensitive and to have feelings? No. This is like telling your child to hide your emotions like Elsa from the Disney movie, Frozen said, “conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know.” Do you want your children to feel numb and stoned cold? Let your child describe and vent to you what they are feeling. They fell and scraped their knees, tell them, “It is okay to cry. Mommy’s here. From scale 1 to 10, how much it hurts?” Then ask them what you can do to help them feel better. Anything you do for your child even if it’s just a kiss on the scraped knee is better than tell them not to cry.
“I’ve had enough.”
So…does that mean you are quitting from being a parent? No right? Saying things like this during the heat of the moment are inevitable, but ever thought about the after effect of the words you threw at your kids? Saying “I’ve had enough” is like saying they are no longer loved by you. It’s like you are cutting all ties with your children.
“You’re too young to know”
Kids are full of curiosity. They feel like they need to know more and they like to explore, discover new things. Their thirst of new things is higher than most adults. So when you say that you will make them feel they are not grown up enough or mature enough to know things. Then they’ll want to make them seem more adult and grow up faster before your eyes—to make you feel they are grown up enough to know things. Even if the topic they are asking is a little inappropriate for their age, try to distract them with some other facts or knowledge and explain to them. Just because they are “too young” to know, does not mean you can’t educate them.
So your little one scraped his knee and he cried out loud, what do you do? Tell him to stop crying and say, “You’re okay”? He scraped his knee and it hurts him so he is definitely not okay. Instead of saying that, you should comfort him and treat his scraped knee, even though it’s the smallest wound.
“Don’t talk to strangers.”
When in fact, the older you get, the more you want strangers to meet and get to know. Instead of saying, “Don’t talk to strangers,” describe a scenario of bad and good things when people they don’t know talk or give them things. Because you should know that strangers sometimes are the one that taught you things. What if there are a homeless talking to your kids and your kids say rude things or simply ignore the homeless? We teach our children to be respectful and polite. So explain to your kids what they should and should not do when there is a stranger talking to them.
Sometimes it’s hard to stop our mouth from talking and throwing words we don’t mean. It’s inevitable. But that doesn’t mean we can just ignore and let it slide. Words can stay in someone’s mind much longer than you expect. Like we said earlier, words cut deeper than knives. So instead of saying things we though it would be the best for your child, say this instead: