Aggression is a normal emotion for a growing child to experience. Aggressive children are a common area of parenthood that most parents seek help with. While aggression is a normal emotion, too much aggression at a young age will pose problems for both the child and the parent.
Young children do not possess the skills to manage their emotions and they are constantly learning about themselves daily. Parents can assist the child to understand what is aggression and how they can manage it positively. Let’s explore aggression in children in a little more detail so you can find a parenting strategy to fit your family.
5 Triggers That Cause Aggression
Anger doesn’t just appear out of nowhere, even if parents don’t understand why their child is suddenly angry. Children who cannot verbalise their emotions will not be able to communicate why they feel angry. So parents should observe and keep an eye out for triggers if the aggression starts to happen often. Here are a few reasons that may cause children to be aggressive.
Trauma
Children who have experienced trauma usually do not have the skills to process it. Trauma that isn’t dealt with can linger and affect a person’s mental health, leading to aggressive behavior in children.
Prenatal Factors
Elements like violence, prenatal smoking and drinking during pregnancy have been known to affect the mother’s neurotransmitters. This can influence the development of the fetus’s brain, increasing the risk of emotional issues for the child later on in life. Such factors can also lead the child to develop learning disabilities.
Social Elements
When a child lives in an environment that has violence, this exposure normalises aggression. Observational learning allows the child to think that since violence is normal in their neighbourhood, family or friends, it is “normal” behaviour. These elements can severely impact the child’s emotion regulation.
Violence
Other exposure to violence can stem from non-social elements like social media, videos and movies. Children tend to imitate adults so if they are exposed to violence in the media, they might follow suit. If the child is bullied and subject to violence, they can show aggression to release pent-up emotions.
Family Situations
Domestic abuse is another cause for children to display aggression. Unstable family dynamics that result in the child witnessing arguments and acts of violence will encourage the child to show aggression. If the parents of the child are struggling with mental issues that display negative practices and emotions toward the child, this can also lead to conduct disorder.
10 Proactive Tips For Parents To Prevent Aggression In Children
Dealing with aggression calls for more than just finding a solution to the problem. Some ways allow parents to avoid an aggressive situation altogether. Here are 10 ways to help you anticipate such situations and prevent your child to display aggression.
Don’t Engage
Avoid fighting back with your angry child. You can firmly instruct the child to speak about the emotions in a respectful way or be quiet in a corner till they calm down so it can be discussed later. Engaging with the child while tempers are running high can result in an argument.
Healthy Distractions
Positive distractions are a good way to help the child to change their focus. Avoid giving extra screen time or sweet snacks every time the child displays aggression.
Empathy
Adults understand what it’s like to be angry so you can empathise with the child to show you care. Communicate in a way they understand so they feel acknowledged. Sometimes just feeling heard and seen, can help the child to calm down.
House Rules
If you get angry at a child for doing something they shouldn’t, they can respond with aggression. The best way to avoid this is to teach the house rules to the child. This can help to regulate the behaviour of children when they are home because they understand what they can or can’t do.
Be Calm
Losing your temper and raising your voice will not help the situation. It just shows the child that their emotion negatively affects the parent. Instead, try to stay calm and avoid physical violence to discipline the child.
Avoid Threats
Use positive reinforcement instead as threats can only make things worse and do long-lasting damage. Threats also can teach the child to speak less respectfully.
Stay Strong
Sometimes it can be difficult to witness your child be upset and angry. Try to avoid pampering the child or giving in to their demand just because they are upset. This can lead to many other bad behaviours and will put the child at a disadvantage in managing emotions.
No Hitting
Teach the child that hitting or any other physical violence against other people is unacceptable. This can help the child to deal with emotions in other ways instead of hitting parents, siblings or friends when things don’t go their way.
Consequences
When the child breaks a house rule or requires to deal with consequences for their actions, make sure you follow through. Consequences should be used to teach the child to behave better and not be used as punishments.
Use Praise
Praise the child when you witness them trying to control and manage their emotions. When they try to behave and display good behaviour, reward them with praise. This acts as reinforcement to show good behaviour.
10 Ways To Help Parents Deal With Aggression
Even though dealing with anger from your child isn’t easy, you can handle this with the right strategy. Managing your child’s emotions will help the child to grow up well-balanced and able to deal with negative emotions positively. Here are 10 ways that can help parents cope and deal with aggressive behaviour.
Avoid Power Struggles
Power struggles are a common part of parenting a growing child. If the child has shown aggression during potential power struggles, it’s best to avoid the situation completely. Try to use other ways to calm the child down and visit the issue later.
Measure Anger
Try inventing a way to measure anger in a way the child can understand. For example, assign a number to indicate the level of anger. 1 would mean slightly angry, and 5 would be extremely angry. This can help the child to communicate their aggression in a way the parent can understand. Once the parent knows how angry the child is, they can work to solve the problem.
Use Rewards
When the child uses anger management skills to manage their emotions in a situation that makes them angry, the parent can reward them. Rewards should be used sparingly as the child shouldn’t expect to be rewarded each time they show good behaviour.
No Violent Entertainment
Use supervision and parental control to ensure your child’s screen time doesn’t have any violence. Exposure to violence through media can impact the child’s growing mind. It’s best to choose child-friendly shows to help the child maintain a healthy outlook on life.
Teach Anger Management
Teach and practice anger management skills at home. Children need help with ways to manage emotions (such as being aggressive) so parents need to be able to take the time to teach such skills. They will need to observe parents manage their anger too so you will have to show the children that anger can be managed positively.
Find Patterns
If you are unsure about what is making your child upset, observe the child. Find patterns of behaviours that lead to aggression. Once the pattern is found, you can search for a solution.
Calming Routine
Create a routine to calm down during an upsetting situation. You can teach the child deep breathing techniques or any other healthy ways to calm upset emotions.
Stay Firm
Be firm about your decisions regarding consequences and not give in to the child’s tantrum. Parents should be easily swayed by aggression as it can only encourage the child to display more bad behaviour in the future.
Use Respectful Language
Model the use of respectful language, especially when you are angry. When the child observes adults being able to speak respectfully in difficult situations, they can follow suit.
Talk About Emotions
Provide a safe space for the child to speak honestly about their emotions. There should be no consequences or repercussions when this happens. The child can feel secure in their family as they know they can be honest and still be loved by their family.
Super Kids Club
Parents looking for ways to keep their children occupied productively will love Motherhood’s Super Kids Club. This membership program caters to young children’s learning needs. Members can enjoy weekly workshops that are STEAM-based subjects. These fun and exciting workshops are led by experienced trainers.
Registration is free for new members and they can redeem a 1-Day Kids Go Free Legoland voucher and a free Super Kids activity box. Parents can also look forward to monthly discounts or vouchers from Motherhood’s sponsors.
From Chaos To Calm
Managing aggression effectively requires parents to put in extra effort at first to observe the child’s behaviour. When the right approach is used to deal with aggression, the benefits that the child will reap are numerous. Children will grow up equipped with the skills to manage their emotions which is a lifelong beneficial skill. This can bring the child better mental health and good stress management.
Aggression management can help the parent and child bond and foster a better relationship. A peaceful family dynamic that allows for healthy ways to express anger will be good for everyone in the family. Addressing aggressive children effectively can help parents to build a calm household with happy children. If the aggressive behaviour isn’t improving, it’s always best to seek advice from a child psychologist to help the child.
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