If you’ve ever seen Modern Family, you’ll know that the Dunphy’s are your typical (dysfunctional) suburban nuclear family: the popular eldest daughter, the bookish, neglected middle child, and the carefree but ditzy baby of the family.
Oh, and the parents, Phil and Claire, are total polar opposites.
Phil enjoys playing pretend, inventing strange gadgets and entertaining mercurial hobbies like tightrope walking.
Claire is the drill sergeant of the household, making sure dentist appointments, PTAs, home repairs, grocery lists, bills and holiday plans are all dealt with in a timely and orderly manner.
She’s also strict, making sure her kids are well-behaved at all times.
If you see yourself in Claire, then chances are… you’re not the ‘fun parent’.
The fun parent is the easy-going, lenient and spontaneous parent.
The one who takes the kids out on spur-of-the-moment trips to the shopping mall for ice-cream.
The one who buys McDonald’s when they’re too tired or lazy to cook dinner.
The one who says ‘forget about homework, let’s go watch a movie’ during those slow weekend afternoons.
Growing up as a child yourself, you may have preferred one parent over the other.
After all, the fun parent lets you get away with eating chocolate before dinner, or stay up late to watch television.
But the serious parent gets things done. They make sure the kids are on time for school, get their homework done before dinner, and the house is neat and tidy. Without serious parents, a family would quite literally fall apart, like a house of cards.
Fun parents may be the soul of the family.
But serious parents are the heart; the instrument that literally keeps everything pumping.
However, parental duties should ideally be distributed equally.
Most of the time, fun parents get to be the way they are because their spouse takes over most of the ‘serious duties’: school, chores, homework, health, etc.
This phenomenon of fun/serious parent also doesn’t just come from a difference of personality but also from a difference of parenting styles (yes, contrary to popular belief, not all couples parent their kids the same way).
So, find a golden mean between your different parenting styles so there’s no longer that divide between who’s the fun parent and who’s not.
But sometimes you may fine with your duties, but may not like how your kids prefer your spouse over you.
So, don’t be afraid to let your hair down every once in a while.
The family won’t collapse just because you loosen the reigns a bit.
In the meantime, pat yourself on the shoulder for being the reason your kids are doing well.
They couldn’t have done it without you taking charge and laying down the rules.
Say it with me now:
‘I’m not the fun parent. And I’m ok with it!’
You’ve got this, parents!
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