“It takes a village to raise a child“
– African Proverb
Having a support network with a good relationship with your child is crucial.
Usually, support networks often come in the form of extended family members.
So, this could mean grandparents, aunts, uncles, and even cousins.
However, some children tend to be wary to mingle with extended family, especially older ones.
There may also be family members who cannot seem to bridge the generational gap between them and your children.
There are multiple positive impacts that building a positive relationship between children and extended family can have.
But how do you ensure your child has a good relationship with their relatives?
Here are some suggested ways to build up a good relationship between your children and their extended family.
Building Blocks to a Good Relationship
Respect Goes Both Ways
We usually teach children to respect their elders during interactions with family members.
But we rarely chastise family members when they act rudely towards your own children.
Respect is a two-way street; and should be earned.
It is important for your children to show respect and not be rude to older extended family members.
It is just as important for extended family to not overstep their boundaries.
We hear plenty of horror stories from parents whose extended family members overstep their children’s boundaries.
This type of behaviour must be shut down immediately to avoid from it becoming out of hand.
Tell these family members that you do not approve of this behaviour .
If the issue persists, ensure that your child has minimal interaction with said family member.
Establishing this clear boundary lets your child know that they can trust you to control the situation if relatives overstep.
Encourage Love Languages
Encourage the use of love languages to strengthen your child’s relationship with family.
According to Dr. Gary Chapman, there are five categories of love languages:
- Quality time
- Words of affirmation
- Physical touch
- Acts of service
- Receiving gifts
Different people will have different preferences towards what type of love language they are most comfortable with.
So, it is important to let your child experiment trying out different types of love languages to familiarise themselves.
Try to encourage your child to show relatives what they are comfortable with, and let them lead the interactions.
Doing this will ensure that your child can express their love towards the extended family more freely.
Spark a Mutual Interest
Try and see if your child shares any interests with a family member.
For instance, if your child and their grandparent share a love for drawing, try starting a conversation about it with them.
Then, link their shared interest so that they are aware of this mutual interest.
This will encourage more interactions between your child and the extended family member in question.
Furthermore, it can also promote a positive interest which can bloom into a passion for your child in the future!
Keep in Contact
This is 2023; an era with so much technological advancements.
Gone are the days of only using letters or landlines to keep in touch with family.
Now, you can pretty much stay in touch with loved ones anytime, anywhere.
Thus, you should use this advantage to promote a good relationship between your child and their extended family.
Make use of video calling functions to make sure that your child can still keep in touch with family even outside of holiday season.
You can also encourage your child to talk to relatives using family group chats.
Doing this will help encourage your child to stay in contact with extended family while under your supervision.
Avoid Forcing Relationships
Nurturing a good relationship between your child and their relatives is important.
However, do not force them to do more than they can handle as it may hinder their progress.
Let your child set their own pace so that the relationship they foster will be more organic.
Fret not, parents; you’ve got this!
Disclaimer: The information provided in this article is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as medical advice from Motherhood. For any health-related concerns, it is advisable to consult with a qualified healthcare professional or medical practitioner.
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