How To Teach Kids To Be Thoughtful and Considerate

You must learn to be thoughtful and considerate towards others. This is what my mother has been reinforcing ever since I was a little girl. When I was young, it didn't make the case to me on why I should be more thoughtful and considerate. My mother would always remind and even scold me when I only thought about my own interests. However, as I grew older, I am really grateful to my mother for teaching me to care about others' needs and feelings. It is certainly one of the more underrated virtues nowadays as people are becoming more self-interested due to the emergence of social media. As our children are exposed to social media from a young age, how can we develop thoughtfulness and consideration among them? We can first start with teaching and training them to use utterances that show thoughtfulness and consideration. Here are 3 simple yet powerful utterances that both you and your children can use to be more thoughtful and considerate! How To Be More Thoughtful and Considerate #1: How can I help you? Your children can learn to be considerate by helping out at home. (Photo credit: Pexels) One of the most powerful questions to ask is certainly, How can I help you? Here's why. As compared to 'Can I help you?', this utterance reinforces the concept that you would certainly help the other parties and you are looking more into how you can offer your help. Others will certainly be grateful and impressed by your thoughtfulness. Thus, by training your children to use these words, you are educating them to learn to spot opportunities to be helpful. They will also learn to anticipate and know what someone is going to need next. Your children can start by using this utterance at home. Get them to observe any family members that need help and ask how they can help to alleviate the burden or emotions. For instance, when our children realised that we are stressed out with the household chores, they can try to ask, Mum, are you alright? How can I help? Now, your response matters a lot, too, as it will either motivate them to use this utterance more, or keep their lips tight in the future. Instead of venting your anger and frustration on them, you can say something like, No. I guess the mess in our house is stressing me out. With this, both you and your children can sort out the issue together and your children will surely be willing to help out with the household chores. In the long run, your children will then understand that it is fine to both ask for help and receive it. It is time for us and also the society to let go of the notion of doing everything on our own. Mind that you should educate your children that they are not using this utterance to get something in exchange. Instead, it is always about wanting to help and serve others genuinely. #2: Thank you for your thoughtfulness. By knowing that their loved ones are thinking about them, your children will learn to appreciate the meaning of each gift. (Photo credit: Pexels) Let's face it, children can be very direct and blunt when it comes to receiving presents. Don't be shocked to hear these utterances from your children that go something along the lines of, It's clothing again! So boring! I hate soft toys! How can we deal with this awkward situation more effectively while teaching them to be more thoughtful and grateful? Let's start with the don'ts. First, never force your children to say thank you when they receive a gift to be kind and respectful, even if they don't like the gift. It is not just about common courtesy. Instead, it is more about educating your children about the meaning behind each gift. A gift is a thought. Our children need to understand that gift is actually an expression of love from those who give them the gift. That is why it doesn't matter whether the gift is big, little, branded or even homemade—a gift is just a way of saying that someone is thinking of them. That's what they say thank you for. So, train your children to express their sincere gratitude by saying, Thank you for your thoughtfulness. By acknowledging their appreciation for what they have received, it will fill them with an immense amount of joy while learning to be thoughtful and considerate. You can also use a gratitude journal to get your children to give thanks in their daily lives. #3: Thank you for correcting me, I didn't realised that before. When your children learn to apologize, they will fill their heart with love and forgiveness. (Photo credit: Pexels) As you know, thoughtful and considerate individuals are usually the ones who say 'sorry' first. However, we should never take the action of saying sorry for granted. You should never apologise because you are fearful of offending anyone or to over please anyone in your life. You are only going to harm yourself if you are being overly apologetic! Thus, it is important to educate your children to apologise when they've made a mistake or hurt others' feelings. Get your children to understand that owning and admitting their mistakes is a sign of inner strength and courage. It is never a sign of weakness to apologise for your mistakes. Besides using the word 'sorry', you can train your kids to use more empowering utterances such as: Thank you for correcting me, I didn't realised that before. I hadn't thought of it like that, I understand now. I was wrong about that, and I've changed my mind. Here are additional phrases that both you and your children can practise using instead of saying 'sorry'. Being thoughtful and considerate does not require you to be over-apologetic. (Photo credit: The Foreword Instagram account) Be a Model on How To Be Thoughtful and Considerate In order to be thoughtful and considerate, it takes more than just being nice. Teach and show your children on how they can pay attention to people around them and how they can choose to act in a purposeful and loving way. And always remind your children that being thoughtful and considerate can help the society to trigger the reciprocity effect. We can get more people to reciprocate positive actions just by acting positively. Together, we can make our society a more thoughtful and considerate one!

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