Teen Left Almost Paralysed After Physical Assault: It’s Time to Address the Bullying Epidemic in Malaysia

Boarding school student, Malik ElFikry, was left almost paralysed after a fellow classmate landed a kick on the boy’s head. The act of violence was done in retaliation. He had earlier been reprimanded by Malik, who was the class rep, because of pornographic material posted in the school’s WhatsApp group. Malik’s mother took to Facebook to express her deepest sorrow over the incident and asks everyone to send her son their prayers to ensure his speedy recovery. He has retained some movement and feeling in his hands and legs which is good news. The bully’s name was not disclosed and the school has not made any statements. However, a police report has been lodged by the mother in response to the tragedy. But netizens are not happy. They have strongly urged the boy's parents to take the case to court and press charges. Not only to claim justice for her son, but to set an example for any future troublemakers that bullying will not be tolerated under any circumstances. Especially in schools. Boarding School Bullies This is probably not the first time you’ve heard about bullying cases in boarding schools, and it will not be the last. Whether it’s from malice, jealously, revenge, racism, or yes, for no reason at all, bullies have reigned in schools due to the negligence of the public school system. In June last year, 10 teens were charged for beating up a school mate. Another student faced the same violence for the small sin of missing subuh prayers. A video went viral about four bullies punching an innocent classmate. Another group of bullies were detained for assaulting 3 students. In one Facebook story, a former boarding school student recounted his experience being bullied where the perps tied his private parts to the ceiling fan. And what have our authorities done about it? The Problem Goes Deeper Even with all the bullying cases reported on the news (and many that have gone unreported), parents still send their kids to boarding school. For what reason, you may ask? The most popular answer is probably to teach their kids independence. The thought process behind this is that thrusting your kids into unchartered territory and being left to fend for themselves helps build character. Another is for convenience. Boarding schools have all the amenities and classrooms in one place. So, parents don’t have to take their kids to and from school day after day. Sometimes it’s even the children’s own decision to go to a boarding school so they can spend all their time with friends instead of at home. But let’s be honest, boarding schools have become a dumping ground where many parents send may their kids for punishment or rehabilitation. This may explain why there are so many bullying cases perpetrated by wounded, unloved children who take their resentment for their parents out on their unsuspecting peers. That said, assuming any of the aforementioned benefits are even valid, do they outweigh the potential pitfalls that come with shipping your child somewhere unfamiliar to be at the mercy of strangers? Beware of Boarding Schools Not all boarding schools are made equal. So, think twice about sending your child to one. You will be leaving your child defenceless without the protection of their parents. In fact, you can’t even rely on the school to protect your kids. With the neglectful attitude of many teachers today on bullying, it will not be a surprise if your child ends up being just another victim. Bullying in boarding school has become so common that it's even become a sort of toxic culture of parents, former students, seniors, and even teachers to normalise it as a form of 'ragging' or 'hazing', a sort of necessary 'rite of passage'. With juniours being forced to do their senior's laundry or clean their rooms. It must also be said that many of these cases fly under the radar because these boarding schools want to protect their reputation. But with social media everywhere, their days of pushing injustices under the rug is outnumbered. If you really must send your kids to a boarding school, please look into their history and talk to their teachers and headmaster about bullying. Protecting Your Kids from Bullies Equip them with Emergency Contacts Sometimes your kids will be left defenceless no matter where they are. So as a first step, make sure they know all the emergency contacts (other than 999) to help them if they are being pursued or suspect that they’re being pursued by bullies. It will take you some research to find all of these. Here are some important numbers to call when your child is faced with a bully: Phone number of nearest police station to their boarding school The phone number of the school headmaster Discipline teacher’s phone number Warden’s phone number Bullying hotlines Never Walk Alone There is strength in numbers, it’s important for kids, even in normal school, to surround themselves with a confident group of friends and allies who will not think twice about protecting their own. If your child has to walk anywhere, be sure they’re always accompanied. If not by a peer, then at least by an adult. Teach your kids to form alliances and not enemies. Take up Self-Defence If your child is indeed a victim of bullying and they’ve told you about it, it’s time to arm them. While carrying weapons may be out of the question, self-defence is the next best thing. But it goes beyond simply protecting oneself. Learning martial arts can boost confidence, making it that more difficult for bullies to intimidate your child. End the Violence The time for addressing bullying with coddling and hand-holding needs to end. The door needs to be blown wide open on institutional shortcomings and neglectful policies. It is unfortunate but these days it may seem like nothing gets done or is known about—unless social media shines its harsh spotlight on the issue. But it’s usually when it’s too late like in Malik’s case. Hopefully he will make a speedy recovery and the bully will be charged for his crimes. The truth is schools should crack down on bullying cases more militantly, to stamp the cause at the root before more innocent children become a victim from someone else’s mistake. Isn’t it embarrassing that even in this day and age, we can’t find a way to end bullying in our schools? So, parents, let’s end the bullying epidemic now by spreading awareness and pressuring schools to reinforce their anti-bullying policies so that schools can be a safer, happier place for our kids. Disclaimer: The information provided in this article is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as medical advice from Motherhood. For any health-related concerns, it is advisable to consult with a qualified healthcare professional or medical practitioner. For more insightful stories and fun recipes, stay tuned to Motherhood Story!

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